𝐷𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑒~ 𝐵.𝐵𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑠

E L E V E N

I didn't even have time to mourn Dean because everything just happens so fast. "Colonel Phillips, my committee is demanding answers." The senator says, "Great. Why don't we start with how a German spy got a ride to my secret installation in your car?" He says before turning to Stark who is working on the submarine, "What have we got here?" He asks making Howard look up.

"Speaking modestly, I'm the best mechanical engineer in this country. But I don't know what's inside this thing or how it works. We're not even close to this technology." He explains, "Then who is?" The senator asks, "HYDRA. I'm sure you've been reading our briefings."

"I'm on a number of committees, Colonel." He justifies "HYDRA is the Nazi deep science division. It's led by Johann Schmidt. But he has much bigger ambitions." Peggy explains, "HYDRA's practically a cult. They worship Schmidt, they think he's invincible." The colonel adds. "So what are you gonna do about it?"

"Spoke to the president this morning. As of today the SSR is being retasked." We all look to Phillips, "Colonel?" Peggy asks, "We are taking the fight to HYDRA. Pack your bags Agent Carter. You too, Stark. You're flying to London tonight." He says completely ignoring me, "Sir, if you're going after Schmidt, I want in." Steve speaks up making Phillips look at him in the same distaste he looked at me.

"You're an experiment. You're going to Alamogordo." He says making me feel bad for Steve I know all he wanted to do was help out as much as he could. "The serum worked." He protests, "I asked for an army and all I got was you. You are not enough." That was way harsher than it needed to be, even if he hadn't gotten a whole army Steve was still a valuable soldier, he was enough.

"Burns." I look up at him calling me, "yes sir?" He looks at me with some sympathy, "now I don't know about you, your brother vouched for you he believed in you so much that he was willing to bet everything he had on it. So I'm willing to take a chance on you if you want it. Come to London with us or stay with Rogers it's up to you." I look between the colonel and Steve, could I just abandon Steve like that, the Steve I would do anything for?

I really wanted to go with the colonel and Peggy and Howard, this job at the SSR it was amazing and Dean wanted this for me. But I take one glance at Steve's sad face and my mind is made up.

"I'll stay with Steve." I tell him hearing the own disappointment in my voice, he's surprised by my answer and I see it's disappointed him too, "you know what, this could be good for you, take a break and if you change your mind at any point the offer stands." I smile at him in gratitude, maybe I would take it, just not right now Steve needed me. "Thank you sir." He nods, "I mean any time and your brother he was a good man...I'm sorry." He says before he walks off.

"You're not coming with us to London?" Howard asks disappointed, I turn to him with a sad smile, "not yet." He nods, "I'll miss you in the lab." I smile, "I know you will." I wink making us both laugh. "Take his offer up soon yeah?" I nod, "maybe."

• • •

So I stayed with Steve as he was carted around the states this time, I had gone through all of this before so it didn't faze me. Only I was forced to go out on stage with Steve and sing his stupid theme song, it was kinda a package performance Steve would go out first and I would sing the song before I had to sing another song on my own something uplifting to raise the crowds spirts. Steve and I became really famous because of this, and usually I would've been ecstatic but I just wasn't pleased, I felt like I wasn't living up to my potential, Dean's words lived in my brain, that I was destined for greatness. This was not greatness.

Also Steve and I were almost forced into pretend dating for the public, but the two of us we just couldn't do it and so we both refused to very adamantly. I had so much love for Steve but I was only in love with one man. One man I missed more and more by the day.

• • •

Now we were at a military base and let me tell you I was so close to leaving this dastardly show and going back to colonel Phillips, we were in London after all.

The crowd were rude and threw stuff at Steve demanding he bring back the girls, poor Steve left the stage flustered and asked the girls to go back out. I however did not join them instead I sat on the ground and played with the ring on my finger as I listen to the rain pour. I mean it was completely understandable for the crowd to act they way that they did, I didn't expect them to be all sunshine's and rainbows they had a right to be angry, the horrors they must've witnessed I don't know how they did it. But I just didn't want to deal with that right now.

"Come on!" Steve tells running past me and grabbing onto my arms, "where are we going?" I ask as he pulls me along, he stops for a second. "This is what used to be part of the 107." My eyes widen and I feel the dread inside of me as I allow him to pull me along into the tent.

"Colonel Phillips." We say as we enter, "Well, if it isn't the Star-Spangled Man With A Plan. And what is your plan today?" He asks, "I need the casualty list from Azzano." Steve demands making Phillips eyebrows raise, "You don't get to give me orders, son." He says making me step forward, "please sir we just need one name." I beg clutching tightly onto my ring, he looks me in the eye and nods, "Sergeant James Barnes from the hundred and seventh." Steve and I say together.

"You and I are gonna have a conversation later that you won't enjoy." Phillips says to Peggy. "Please tell us if he's alive, sir. B-A-R..." Phillips cuts him off, "I can spell." He says before turning, "I have signed more of these condolence letters today than I would care to count. But the name does sound familiar. I'm sorry." My head drops as I feel my heart break, he was gone too, he promised he was going to come home to me. He said we'd have our wedding and live our lives together. He said he'd never dream of leaving me.

I don't even hear what Steve and Phillips argue about as my grief becomes sickening, I don't hear anything. I don't even notice Steve leave the tent until the colonel puts an arm on my shoulder. "Burns... are you alright?" I look up at him and try to swallow my tears as I nod. "What was your relation to Barnes?" I look down at the ring glistening on my finger. "Fiancé." I tell him my voice breaking as it hits me. His face softens and he pats my shoulder.

"It's alright." He tells me awkwardly, I shake my head and compose myself. "I want my job back." He looks to me unsurely like he was about to say no, "are you sure?" He asks probably thinking I was unstable or something. "I'm sure, you said any time the offer still stands, so does it?" I look at him with a new determination in my eyes, I wasn't going to just sit down and cry. I would be useful and I'd help avenge my Bucky.

"Alright you start first thing tomorrow, take today off."