The Alias

M-Twenty Two

It had been 15 days since I brought Aki home. The progress we made wasn't great, but it wasn't terrible either. At first, she tried pushing me away, saying some of the most heartbreaking things I'd ever heard, but I was incredibly persistent, and she eventually gave in. If I prided myself on anything, it was my persistence.

I took her for strolls around the city and pointed out my favorite places to go when I was a child as she held onto my arm and silently listened. I tried to tell jokes along the way in hopes of eliciting a smile out of her, but she didn't budge.

Dinner was probably one of the worst times of the day. The pamphlet listed recipes for foods filled with nutrients that Aki needed, but I never learned how to cook and ended up either adding too much of an ingredient or burning the whole meal. And if my cooking was successful, the challenge was getting Aki to eat it. She always claimed she was full despite the growling of her stomach, so I had to sit next to her and pester her until she finished eating. On some days, she would snuggle her head into my chest and hug my waist, trying to get me to give up and let her leave the table, which made it damn difficult to pull her away and refuse. I hated to be so pushy, but I knew she needed to eat in order to recover.

At night, I begged and begged for her to come to bed with me, but she would just sit on the couch staring blankly at the TV, not moving a muscle. I would sometimes walk in front of her so she was forced to look at me, but she'd just keep her unfocused eyes trained on the spot she was staring at. After several minutes of begging, I usually resorted to physically pulling her off the couch, and no matter how softly I tugged her, her body would flail, limp and fragile as a rag doll. She would lean her entire body weight into me and let me basically drag her into the room. On nights when it was worse than usual, I ended up having to carry her crying body to the room and hold her tightly in the bed as she cried herself to sleep. Sometimes the crying lasted for a few minutes, sometimes it lasted for hours. I rarely slept, for when she did fall asleep, it ended in her waking up screaming and me having to cradle her until she fell asleep again.

***

"Why do you only ever want to eat candy?" I asked, breaking the silence during breakfast. Aki moved the scrambled eggs I made her around the plate with her fork.

She didn't answer for a few minutes, and when I gave up, figuring she was ignoring me, her small voice spoke up, "Sugar keeps me awake."

"Because of the nightmares?"

"Yeah." She slowly raised the fork to her mouth and ate a small piece of egg, then pushed the plate away. "Done."

"You have to finish the plate, Aki," I sighed, dragging the plate back towards her. She buried her head in my shoulder, groaned, and retreated back. She picked up her fork and let it hover over the eggs for a second before reaching her left hand out and lacing her fingers between mine. I watched as she scarfed the eggs down at rapid speed. Her fork clattered against the table when she finished and she latched onto my arm.

"Do I get a kiss for finishing?" She looked up at me and her broken eyes sparkled. I felt a smile make its way onto my face, and my heart melted.

"Of course," I laughed, leaning my head down and placing my lips gently on hers.

***

The clock on the wall read 7:12 pm. Aki and I were sitting on the couch side by side, our shoulders touching, watching a murder mystery on TV. I had to refrain from pulling her close and cuddling the life out of her, in fear that I would come off as too clingy since all I ever wanted to do was hold her. The amount of pride that swelled in my chest every time she made an effort to eat or sleep was immense, and I couldn't help myself from hugging her most of the time. I could see the constant struggle flare in her eyes, but her determination to try, to try for me, kept me cooking in the kitchen and tucking her into bed every night. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Aki struggling to keep her eyes open. I began to speak but was cut off by my phone buzzing on the armrest next to me. I picked it up and saw that the caller was... Ryuzaki? What the hell does he want? Angry at the fact that he was the final straw and driving force behind Aki's pain, I declined the call and powered off my phone.

"Who was that?" Aki mumbled next to me, rubbing her eyes.

"Nobody," I reassured, slowly putting my arms around her. She didn't fight back, so I gently pulled her into my chest and laid us down. "Get some sleep, Aki. Your eyes can barely stay open." Before I even finished my sentence, she was out. I stroked her hair as she slept until I, too, fell asleep.