The Alias

Thirty

SO SO SORRY I GOT LOCKED OUT OF MY ACCOUNT AND THEN LEFT FOR COLLEGE SO THINGS HAVE BEEN SUPER HECTIC!! HERE'S AN UPDATE FOR YOU GUYS I'M SO SORRY 😭😭

It had taken two full weeks for the bruise on my nose to completely heal, and during that time, I fell slightly back into some of my old depressive habits. I had successfully re-addicted myself to coffee, barely slept, and started forming a new suicide plan, which I decided would only come into play in the most dire circumstance. It was 7:45 am and Matsu had dropped me off at the Yagami's before he went to headquarters because I had finally decided to pick up my things from my old room. I walked into a nearly empty house and went straight upstairs to my room, not wanting to face Sachiko. Most of my things were already in boxes, so the only things left for me to pack were my clothes. My clothes were the real reason I was back since I only had three outfits of my own back at the condo. It wasn't that I hated wearing Matsu's clothes, I just missed wearing things that fit. Pulling off Matsu's sweatshirt, I fished out a v-neck tee from my wardrobe and threw it on. My once loose shirt fit like a glove and I looked myself over in the mirror. The stick figure I had grown accustomed to seeing was not there, instead there stood a woman with an hourglass figure and sumptuous breasts which created intense cleavage in my v-neck tee. I instantly became insecure and threw Matsu's sweatshirt back over my head.

Packing up my things took much longer than I had anticipated. It was now dark outside, the glow of the moon lit the street in its silver glow as I waited for the taxi I had called to arrive. I decided to only take ten boxes out of the dozens that there were, figuring that the taxi wouldn't be able to accommodate that many. As the taxi approached, I took out my phone to see if anyone from headquarters tried to contact me. Seeing that no one called, I placed my phone in my sweatshirt pouch and picked up a few boxes.

After dropping all of my things off at home, I took the same taxi over to headquarters. I walked through the main doors of the building and was met with an eerily quiet lobby. Taking note of how strange that was, I hesitantly took the elevator up to the floor we worked on and walked into the room. It was completely empty, yet the screens were still on. I looked around the room for any sign of life before looking up at the giant TV, it was projecting what looked like a party of models in Misa's room. Gross. Just as I was about to look away, Matsu kicked in the door to her room, looking beyond wasted. I furrowed my brows and watched him stagger across the floor and head for the balcony. Someone needs to stop him!

Time seemed to stand still and I stared in horror as Matsu got up on the ledge of the balcony and started performing a handstand. I felt my eyes begin to tear up and for the first time in my life, I started to pray. Then, in the blink of an eye, Matsu fell off the ledge. I let out a blood-curdling scream and my knees became weak. Staggering backward, I collapsed onto the floor and stared blankly at the screen, unable to fully comprehend what I'd just seen. Within the span of only a few seconds, my vacant stare scrunched into violent sobs which echoed loudly off the walls of the dark room. I jumped to my feet and sprinted to the elevator, not caring that one of my shoes came off in the commotion. Getting into the elevator, I mashed the button for the main floor and, as soon as the doors opened again, I sprinted out of the lobby into the cool night air. I pushed and shoved my way through a crowd of people, desperately trying to get to the ambulance before it sped off, but I was too late. I stood in the middle of the street watching the ambulance drive off into the distance and wept, shrinking onto the asphalt below me.

I sobbed into the ground with my head between my knees for what felt like an eternity before I felt heavy hands clasp onto my sweatshirt and haul me to my feet. I lifted my head to see Wedy standing before me wearing a fluffy hat and sunglasses. She asked me to follow her but I couldn't, my feet were locked into place. Annoyed, she grabbed me by the shirt and dragged me inside and into the elevator. We stood in silence, riding up to the floor just below Misa's. The doors opened and we walked out into a dark hallway lined with a bunch of closed doors. I didn't bother asking where we were going, I just let Wedy drag me through the hall as I cried. She opened one of the doors and threw me into the room, nearly sending me face-first into the ground. 

I stumbled forwards and took a second to let my eyes adjust to the dim light of the room before looking around. There, in the middle of the room, was Matsu and Soichiro sitting comfortably on a mattress on the floor. Unable to process what I was looking at, I just stood there, motionless and statuesque. Tears still cascaded down my face as the realization came over me and I flung myself onto the mattress, embracing Matsu's shoulders from behind. I stuffed my face into the crook of his neck, trying to stifle my cries.

"Aki? What's going on? Are you okay?" Matsu placed his hands on my arms and squeezed.

"I-I saw you fall and I-I thought..." my words trailed off and I tightened my grip on him.

"Ryuzaki was supposed to debrief you on Matsuda's situation. Did he not?" Soichiro asked concerned. I nuzzled my face against Matsu's neck, barely hearing Soichiro over my own sobs.

"I'm-I'm sorry," I whimpered against his neck, "I get it now. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel like this... This feels horrible." I sniffed as Matsu pulled my arms off of him and turned around to look at me.

"What's she talking about, Matsuda?"

Matsu ignored Soichiro and cupped my cheeks in his hands, "Hey, look at me. I'm just fine. You're fine. Everything's fine." He flashed me a dorky smile and I giggled through my tears, throwing myself onto his lips so forcefully that we fell backward off the mattress. I could feel the residual heat radiating from Soichiro's eyes burning a hole into the side of Matsu's face as I held him in a bear hug against the floor. It was the first time he'd ever seen Matsu and I be outwardly affectionate with each other, and he was simply seething with rage. Up until that moment, he was in utter denial about us being together, but then he was forced to see us as we were: a couple. "You're getting stronger," Matsu giggled, his voice sounding as if he were being strangled.

"I love you," I whimpered. I released him from my death grip and propped myself up on my hands to look him in the eyes. He tucked my hair behind both of my ears and pulled me into one more kiss before I reluctantly crawled off of him. "So, can you tell me what happened before I lose my shit again?"

***

Before we left, Matsu and I returned to the main investigation room for me to retrieve my shoe, which I had hastily left laying on its side in the middle of the room. The team was back inside, huddled around Ryuzaki's laptop, and I noticed my shoe was no longer in the middle of the floor. Without opening the glass doors, I looked around the room and saw that my shoe was placed neatly on the desk beside Ryuzaki. I groaned and looked up at Matsu with pleading eyes. He smiled, understanding what I wanted, and unhooked his fingers from my grasp to go and retrieve my shoe. Once he was in the room, Soichiro appeared next to me.

I kept my eyes trained on Matsu's back as he spoke, "Sachiko told me you came and picked up some things from your room. I guess... I guess you're really moving out, then." I nodded and he continued, "Aki, I am sorry for never being there to see the way my wife had treated you. I hope you know that if I had known what she was doing I would have..." He took a moment to collect his thoughts and I shifted my gaze to watch his reflection in the glass. "From the moment I laid eyes on you, I was convinced that you were meant to be my daughter. I realize now that I was being selfish. To you, to Sachiko, to Light, and later Sayu. I only thought about how adding you to our family would affect me, and I completely neglected to take into consideration how this might affect you later in life. I thought I was doing what was best by shielding you from all of this, but I see now that it only made things worse. I do not blame you for hating me, I stole you from your rightful family and lied to you about it your entire life. But, I do hope that one day you will be able to find it in your heart to forgive me."

"I don't hate you," I stated flatly, shifting my weight from my right leg to my left. Soichiro let out a shaky sigh of relief and I watched his reflection shed a few tears as Matsu returned with my shoe.