The Alias

Seventeen

I couldn't believe my ears as Matsuda finished spilling the darkest part of his childhood to me. My mind tried to form words for me to say, but it was empty. All I could do was sit there holding his vulnerable body as he let the last bit of his tears seep into his black sweatshirt that I was wearing.

"I-I never told anyone this, a-and it feels good to finally say it out loud and get some weight off my shoulders," he admitted after a few moments of silence. He took one of the drawstrings on the sweatshirt and twirled it around his finger.

"How can you do it? How can you be so happy all the time with all of this bottled up in you?" I spoke softly as if the sound of my voice would break him once more.

"I guess it's just from years of practice."

"Well I don't want you to be practicing this anymore, and I really don't want you pretending to be happy all the time. Be emotional, scream, cry... explode if you have to. I don't care. Just... be you. The real you." I gently kissed the top of his head. "You're in luck. I just came back from the store with 2 gallons of chocolate ice cream." Matsu scooted away from me and I stood up holding my hand out for him to grab. He took it, and I pulled him up, keeping our hands connected as I guided him to the kitchen.

***

I fell back on the couch laying fully over Matsu's legs and groaned, "I think I ate too much."

"Come on, you can't stop now. We haven't finished it all," he laughed.

"My brain is too frozen to care." I closed my eyes and sighed.

"Aki?"

"Hm?" I opened my eyes to see Matsu looking down at me, his expression was soft and his cheeks were a light shade of pink.

"N-nothing, I just..." His cheeks burned a darker pink as he looked deeply into my eyes. I sat up, legs still resting over his lap, and put my hand on his chest. I switched my gaze from his eyes to his lips and back, and he gulped. His breath quickened and he leaned in ever so slightly, his eyes also moved from my gaze to my lips and back. I slowly slid my hand up his chest and rested my fingertips on his cheek, then leaned all the way in. I pressed my lips against his, gently, delicately, for just long enough to feel the warmth of his lips against mine. My hand now rested fully on his cheek and I pulled back, taking in the sight of him, as if for the very first time. His eyes sparkled like I'd never seen before, and I was instantly captivated by them. They were brown like fallen autumn leaves on a chilly September day, and bright, not in color, but in spirit. I stroked his cheek lightly before pecking his cheek and nuzzling my face into the crook of his neck.

Matsu snaked arms around my torso and pulled me as close to him as possible. I closed my eyes and listened to his rhythmic breathing, losing myself in the moment.

After several minutes of complete silence, Matsu spoke, "So um... Your dad and brother are in confinement right now." I opened my eyes.

"Not the time, Matsu," I warned.

"Right, sorry."