Chapter 47

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Phoenix

"Do you remember how I speared that crocodile?"

"Yes, Stitches, I do, that was yesterday," I say, opening my eyes just a little. He's rolled on top of me, to wake me up by bopping his nose against mine and tell me about the things that made him happy about yesterday. This is how he wakes up. All excited and happy and bouncy. Thing is I wake up very slowly. And I've learned the hard way if he is not properly cuddled and talked to in the mornings, he's off all day, more hyper and more violent than usual. If I properly snuggle him and remind him why he doesn't want to die in a street fight, then he tends to be less impulsive.

"I know wasn't it cool? Wouldn't it be cool to go on a big game hunt?"

"Not really, I don't think so," I say, kissing his cheek and tugging him back down to lie beside me. We're curled up in a corner of his bed, using all the pillows around us as a fort because we're mature like that.

"Okay fine. But it was still cool. Do you think I'm still suspended? I wasn't paying attention when they told me," he says, still excitable.

"No, you are not. It was a one day thing, now lie still I need you, you're warm and I'm not up yet," I say, curling up against him and burying my face in his hair, "I need to study you for a little while longer, all right?"

"Why do you need to study me?" he asks, submitting to the snuggling all the same.

"Because you're my new religion, Stitches, I have to devote myself to the study of you," I say, kissing the back of his neck, where the bones stick out, then his shoulders. I nuzzle my nose against his skin. I should feel worse about my parents disowning me. I don't. I should feel worse about killing a boy. I don't. I'm just an awful person aren't I? Yes, I am, and I'm delighting in my sin.

"You're very strange in the morning you know?"

"I'm kinda strange all the time. You're not normal yourself."

"I am. I'm perfectly normal."

"Who wanted to build a pillow fort for the sole purpose of eating gummy bears in it? At two am?"

"You say that like it wasn't a good idea but it was," he says, happy with himself. He's really energetic, including at two am. I thought I had worn him out sufficiently before we went to sleep. I had not.

"Yeah 'course it was. I was with you."

"You up, Axel, since you're clearly alone?" Brianna calls through the door.

"Yeah," I reply making Axel giggle, "Come in."

"Please be decent, please be decent---annnnd they're not decent," she says, coming in and half covering her eyes.

"I'm wearing boxers," I say, we're mostly under the pillow fort and crisp white sheets. I never knew people owned white sheets until I met Axel.   He is not wearing boxers. He sleeps naked when I'm not here too, as I understand.

"I'm not," Axel says, still bound up in the sheets and mostly cuddled in my arms, "Go away I don't want to go anywhere today. I'm not done kissing him."

"You are, we leave for school in five minutes," she says, folding her arms.

"School's not for another hour," Axel says, flopping back against me, his muscles finally relaxing as he lays his head on my chest to let me hold him. He's so wild all the time and untamable. He absolutely adores being held and cuddled like he's weak when he's so not. Everyone focuses on how strong he is and never gives him a moment to be weak and protected, so I do.

"I know but I forgot how aggravating your parents are and I told them we had to be early so now we need to leave," Brianna groans.

"What were you doing, having breakfast with them? Why would you do that?" Axel asks, still lying on me contentedly.

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