Distance

17

One day, however, while I was sitting at my lunch table listening to music and waiting for my friends to arrive at our table, I saw Hayden from across the lunchroom and got the image of him....masturbating...in my head. Now, it wasn't random. Good god, no. I was listening to Sexting by Blood On The Dance Floor, so I suppose the song was slightly to blame. But the thing is, it didn't bother me. At least not at first. Though once I got home, did all my homework and had time to just lay around, the image was still stuck in my head. That's when it really started to bother me. i decided to text Emily to try to get my mind on something else, but even texting her didn't work. I texted her: "I'm having really weird thoughts...about Hayden >,<" and of course, she was interested in what it was that I was thinking. I told her I'd tell her the next day, I promise.

That next day, she ran up to me right before the bell rang in band and asked me, "Soooo....what was it?" She smirked. I looked around, and of course Hayden was already in his seat. I didn't want to risk him hearing....That would be....gross.

"I'll tell you during lunch.....!!" I whispered, trying not to make my face go red.

"Awwwe, come onnn!!" She budged.

"NO....LUNCH...." I said, just as the bell started to ring. Ha! Thank you bell!

I didn't talk at all that day during rehearsal, so I was fine, thankfully. But when lunch came around I was freaking out. How could I say that I imagined him masturbating, all while keeping a STRAIGHT face? I knew it would be impossible. I really didn't want to say it, but she wouldn't NOT let me...

Eventually she came and sat down right next to me at our table. a huge grin on her face. "Sooooooo....?"

"NOOOO...." I said dramatically, burying my head in my arms and blushing again. After a few moments of silence I popped my head up again and saw Emily, patiently waiting for me to tell her. Finally, I gave in. "FINE...." I decided to pull out my phone and text the word in a new message. I typed it slowly under the table, my bottom lip starting to quiver because I was nervous. I glanced back up at her and brought my phone from underneath the table.

As soon as she read it, her entire face went as red as I've ever seen it.

"EW EW EW EW EW EW EWWWWW..." she squealed, looking away from the screen and covering her face in her hands. I exited out of the message, pressed NO when it asked whether I wanted to save it or not, and slid it back into my pants pocket.

Because of all the commotion, Jenny, who now was in her place at the table, asked me what was going on. I told her that I had imaged Hayden doing....something....but that I didn't want to tell her because I'd feel too awkward. Like Emily, she wouldn't let me say no. Therefore, I took my phone out again, typed the word, and showed it to her. Apparently she hadn't heard that I got the image of HIM doing it in my head, because she went, "WHOAAAA....HE TOLD YOU THAT HE....? DURING....DURING BAND?"

"OH MY GOD!!!! NO!!!" I blurted out. "That would just be....awkward!" And....maybe a bit hot. But I never said that...

I don't know what happened next, but I know for a fact that all three of us now had that image of Hayden....forever stuck in our minds.

Later that day, after the final bell rang and school had let out, I was on my way to the stairwell to go to the first floor. I waited for everyone to pass and make their way down before I did so I wouldn't get trampled down the stairs, like I always did. But today while I was looking through my text messages on my phone, I saw Hayden out of the corner of my eye; I immediately got super excited. Wait, he goes the same way as me? How had I never noticed before?! Now, every day after school, I would have another excuse to wait to go down to the main floor. To get one last glance of Hayden before I could see him during band the next afternoon. Seeing him was the only thing really making me go to school, honestly, It was the only thing I got up in the morning for, sat through classes for, went to bed for.... I looked back at the time when I was sick for the week and a half, and couldn't help but wonder how the hell I surived that. Fuck, I could hardly get through weekends by now! I hated Fridays and loved Mondays. He was basically all I thought about or cared about.