Distance

11

It's the very middle of the summer now; I had finished summer school, and Najwa and I have talk about possibly getting her to visit here in August. We've been talking on the phone every Monday, and I absolutely love it. I always sneak up to my room at around 5 PM and use the excuse that I'm organizing my closet or trying to figure out what to wear the next day. But Najwa gets busy, and we're not able to talk on the phone for a few weeks, which makes me sad. It was torture, really, to not hear her voice for a long period of time...

One evening I was lying on the couch in my living room and in a horrid mood (And for what reason, I don't remember.) I was tweeting whatever what was on my mind, which every other word was pretty much swear words. I just wanted to go to bed and sleep all day the next day so I wouldn't have to face anyone. Drama with my family was going way too far, and I thought my head was going to explode. My older sister Sam was always overreacting at everything and acting as if she were MY age (now 15) instead of a 21 year old. At times I could've sworn I was more mature than her, which really pissed me off. Also, my dad had major anger issues and yelled at EVERYONE. Except for, guess who? Yeah. Me. Because I'm "perfect and never do anything wrong" blahblahblah.I wanted to run away with Najwa, but I knew that that would be impossible. Until I turned 18, that is...

My mom was gone somewhere, so I suggested to Najwa that we should try doing a video chat in order to introduce her to my mom and ask her if she would be able to come here in August. We had had this all planned out: I would sneak up to my room like usual, but with my mom's computer since it's the only one in the house that has a webcam, create a Skype account (as would Najwa) and we would talk for a bit first to get used to it, and then I would text my mom to ask her if she could come up to my room....And I would introduce her to Najwa. Simple, right? Let's just say how it really went is not how I expected at all.

My mom had never been one to snoop in on my twitter much, but of course tonight, once she got home, she chose to. She saw all my tweets and saw my bio that explained that I was in a relationship with Najwa and that I love her more than anything. She saw my complaints about how I hated life lately and wanted to run away with my girlfriend. She. Saw. Everything.

"So....Tell me about your life..." She said from across the room as she shut her laptop, looking at me calmly.

I was so confused at that moment. Why did she want to know about my life? It's pretty boring, to be honest.

"Uh.....What?" I said, puzzled and a bit panicked.

She got up out of her seat and walked over to the couch that I was lying on. "I know you're with that girl....And that she's older..."

When I processed what she was saying in my head, I froze. I couldn't breath. NO! This was NOT how it was supposed to fucking work out! My heart started to pound and I could feel my eyes starting to water. What am I supposed to say? How much did she see? How much does she know?

I stared into space with a blank expression on my face. I tried to speak, but I couldn't. It was impossible. My eyes start to swell with tears and I ended up losing it. I was so scared that she was going to judge me or say that I couldn't be with her anymore, mainly because I had given a boy I met on twitter that lived a few miles away my number before, and she ended up finding out. She made me delete his number and told me I couldn't talk to him anymore. She was terrified that he would find my address and turn out to be a pedofile or a serial killer or something and come attack me, which I totally understand. But this, this was completely different. I trust Najwa and love her with my entire life. I would do anything for her. I don't want this to break us up...

Once I started to cry, my mom asked me why I was crying. I managed to say "I don't know," because I really didn't. I said that I was scared that she would make us break up. She told me not to cry and that it's all okay. It turned out that she was curious as to why she hadn't told me about her earlier. I explained the whole situation with the boy from before, and she felt horrible. She blamed it all on herself and that she felt I couldn't trust her, which wasn't it at all. I told her Najwa and I's plans of how we wanted to introduce the two of them together, and she apologized for ruining it all. I told her almost everything--how Najwa and I had been best friends for over a year and how we knew every single thing about one another. I asked my mom if Najwa would be able to somehow visit in August, and she said that that would be fine. I was truly shocked at this, but at the same time so happy I could almost die. She would actually let her VISIT! Now all we have to do is get her parents' "okay"!

I soon calmed down, and my mom left me alone. I told Najwa about this, and she was shocked at first, but when I said that my mom would let her come here in August, she nearly freaked. Things were finally setting into place!!

Not too long after, Najwa's ex-girlfriend Jade (who she dumped in order to be in a relationship with me), somehow hacked her best friends twitter account.

"CLARY!" she DM'ed me one day. "Kaleigh's twitter's been hacked! >,<""

"What..?! Seriously..?!?" I sent back.

"YES! >,< Whoever it is is calling me a slut & a whore & says I jump from relationship to relationship....I don't know who it is. As far as I'm concerned no one knows Kaleigh's password. But I think it may be Jade..."

I had no idea what to say. I couldn't help in any way, and that made me feel more than terrible. Whoever was playing to be Kaleigh was a total bitch, and as soon as I figured out who it was, I was going to kick their ass. Najwa couldn't stop crying, which made me feel all the more terrible. I only wanted to help her, but I had no idea how...

Though Jade once told Najwa that she wanted to get revenge for her leaving her poor little self for me. It would all make sense for it to be Jade, right? Well, Najwa, being the smart-cookie that she is, ended up figuring out that it was not in fact Jade, but one of Jade's friends. She somehow got the girls number, tracked down where she lived and debated calling the police on her.

"DO IT!" I DM'ed her. "Do it while you can! Its harassment!"

But unfortunately, she never did. I'm not sure why, honestly. Maybe she was scared? I wouldn't blame her if that were the reason. I'd just want whoever it was to get caught... But they never did.

This whole episode ended up practically destroying Najwa. And I couldn't do anything about it...