Distance

10

See, Najwa and I had always hinted in flirting and being somewhat sexual through tweets and text messages...But we never confronted ourselves to it because we never thought the other would like them like that. In reality, I think we did that mainly because we wanted the other person to finally figure it out. Though that never really happened. She and I would practically fuck one another on our twitter timeline before we got together, and we thought it was harmless, which it was. One night, long before we got together, I created a twitter account for Dallas Winston from The Outsiders. I had to read and watch the movie for school, and I absolutely had the hots for Dally. I loved his attitude, look, background...He was just freaking amazing, so I wanted to make an RP account for him, and so I did! I tweeted on my @AshPurdysBoner account after I made it asking for someone else to make a Cherry Valance account so I could have some fun pretending to act how Dally would With Cherry. Najwa ended up making the Cherry Valance account, and we subconsciously flirted for hours while roleplaying. After we got together, it all clicked in my head.

"Did you create that Cherry Valance account just to flirt with me...? (;" I DM'ed Najwa one day.

"...Yes...hehehe xD" she confessed.

"I KNEW IT..!!!" --because, well, I did! it was a brilliant idea of hers, honestly. And I don't blame her for doing that...Though I wouldn't have thought of purposefully creating the account just to flirt behind a book and movie character's name.

Now that we were actually a couple, we didn't have to hide flirting or saying dirty things to one another. We did it all the time for the first few months of our relationship because we just couldn't....stop. It was so much fun! But as we kept sending one another sexual texts and tweets it just progressed and got...worse, if I may say so. I even asked her one day how far we would go once she's actually here. I was scared, honestly, to do anything past making out because I've never even had my first kiss yet. Plus, I'm pretty young. She said that she wasn't sure; that if anything were to happen once she got here this summer that it would be a spur-of-the-moment thing. I agreed, but it was still very very scary to think about. To imagine myself not being a virgin once summer was over was the thing that scared me the most. Sure, lots of people my age and even younger have done "stuff" with other people, most of them not knowing bullcrap about the other person because they just want sex, but I had more self-respect than to lose my virginity at such a young age. Though I also didn't want to think of it that way, because I LOVE Najwa and I want to be able to express that love with and to her. I was torn between two, really. I couldn't decide what to do. At all.

Najwa couldn't even come to visit that summer however, because she had to visit her older brother, she had Warped tour, and she had to get ready for college that would be starting in early September. Again, I wasn't surprised. Just disappointed.... And frustrated.

Once summer arrived, I began summer school to get ready for the highschool since I would be an incoming freshman. My district's highschool was pretty big, and I was terrified that I would get lost on the first day, so I thought the summer program would help big time. Plus, if I completed the summer program for 3 weeks every monday through thursday, I would get a quarter credit before school even started! I ended up doing pretty well, only missing one day because I was a bit sick. I had a Study Skills class, and at the last week of classes my teacher. Mr. Fleitman, assigned us a small project. We had to draw where we wanted to be in 10 years.

For mine I drew a guitar because I want to learn my electric guitar that I've had since I was nine years old, a Canadian flag and a house because Najwa and I both want to move to Canada when we're older, and then I printed out a black and white picture of Najwa that she chose for me to glue onto the paper, because I of course want to be with her in ten years! I had to show the paper to Mr. Fleitmen in order to get credit, and when he saw the picture of Najwa on my paper he asked, "Who'se that?!"

And I said, quite scared that he might judge me for some reason: "My girlfriend..." When I said "girlfriend" my heart started racing and I could feel my face getting hot, and I found myself smiling softly.

I half-expected him to flinch or give me a strange look, but he didn't. He didn't even blink. I respected him for that and have liked him ever since. He just smiled and said, "Thank you! You get full credit!"

With that, I raced out of the room as the bell rang to go to my next class, which was Social Studies. I sat by one of my best friends in the class, Emily, and when I sat down in my seat I asked her if she wanted to see a picture of my girlfriend.

"Ohhh yes of course I do!" She said excitedly.

I pulled my binder out from my Black Veil Brides bag that I used and found the paper in my binder. I gave it to her, and she immediately gasped, going, "She is SO gorgeous!!"

I blushed, started to giggle and said, "Yeaaaah...I know...heheheee..."

Later that day when I got home at noon, my mom suggested that we frame it and hang it on my wall to use as a constant reminder of what I want my future to be. Beisde the fact that my drawing were terrible, I agreed only because there was a picture of Najwa on it. My mom found a frame that fit perfectly, but we didn't have any nails to put in on my bedroom wall, so I just placed it beside my bed, propped up where I could see it.

I'd never imagine this would happen, but much later, once school actually started, I'd gotten to frustrated with things that were going on my life and with Najwa that I had almost smashed the picture against the wall.