One shots (Mycroft holmes)

At What Cost

When I was recruited for the job of being assistant of Mr Mycroft Holmes the first thing that was made very clear to me was my life is not the priority, but my job is.
My job and secrets that come with it.
During my office hours I tried to be this shadowy assistant who does not has any existence and when away from my job I was myself, Y/N.
A whole lot messy, imperfect, full of flaws indecisive person cause in the end I was a human being not God or even a Holmes. 

My job came with many risks, I was aware of it. I had to be very quick with my decision making for it could save lives or it could take lives.

My point is my job was exasperating but I am not complaining I get tired and sometimes I could not even rest but I enjoyed thoroughly being the shadowy assistant of Mycroft Holmes.

I had been this for some time now and it was going great untill HE came into our lives.
HE because I am unsure of what his name is. People call him by many names but none in my opinion describes him.
He is cunning, witty, funny, brilliant, humorous, exceptionally handsome and cruel, manipulating, sadistic and apathetic.
All this I am saying from what I know about him, of what I know of him from what I have seen of him.

At first he seemed such a gorgeous human being I was weak in the knees I won't lie. But my boss was  not to be lured by him, he despised my being with HIM. First I thought he is just jealous but the more I saw HIM then I realised it's better if I don't know him well or personally.

He was charismatic, his charms worked on me, he was a dream come true. But I should have known better than this.
Because when HE was specifically interested in me I never told him that I was not equally interested. Regardless of the various warnings of my boss, Mr Holmes I was trapped.

So here I am in hiding from both HIM and from my boss.

How did I ever get here, at what cost after all?

Let me tell you....
He came into our lives weeks after Sherlock had shot Magnussen, Mycroft was distracted and I had to see through so much work, documents, meetings, schedules. Never had time for anything but work.
HE came in as a helping hand, in fact it was Mycroft who introduced us.

Moriarty was on the run and Sherlock had to be kept under cover. So this kept Mycroft engaged, he had little time with me. I missed Mycroft's company very much but someone had to do the work.

HE helped me in many ways, professionally and also personally at times. I feel guilty now thinking about it all. But he made me feel so beautiful, he made me realise that I actually existed, which I never realised, like I forgot.

So when I started trusting HIM and HE started manipulating me, I couldn't see clearly.

Mycroft warned me, he even threatened me once I was too blind to see any signs. Damn me.

And when the documents of the the German international covenant which was supposed to be highly confidential went missing it did not strike me that it could be HIM.

If only I would have understood it all at that point everything would have been under control now.

But I went far, without a care...

When I finally caught him red handed, decrypting some classified files dated further, in Mycroft's computer it was too late.

He had way too much control over me, knowing my weaknesses.

HE knew that I would protect those documents beyond my life, but HE also knew that I will not put at stake the life of Mycroft Holmes.

So that's what he did, instead of pointing the trigger at me, HE showed a laser on Mycroft's head.
I have been scared before but this was blinding, deafening, I literally just lost my senses. HE really got the best of me.