silver of my soul

DEAR DIARY

Dear diary
Long time no see ..
Well let's just say today something happened that I never want to forget so here I am , sharing my unforgettable memory with you again.so this is what happened..
Actually,
I really couldn't understand what happened why I kissed bright but he looked so irresistible and vulnerable .No one ever talked to me like this with all sincerity , instead of lecturing me about my habit of smoking he understood what I might be going through ,To be honest I never liked smoking earlier when....when ..well when everything was normal but I don't know when I got caught up with this habit.I was just thinking about thanking him for sharing a part of his life with me but instead looking at him made my body move involuntarily and kiss him, Maybe.. Maybe I just wanted to get some of his pain away but didn't know any words for it, maybe I wanted to distract him from all his bad memories, from how his shoulders were slumped how he felt distant as if living every bit of it again or maybe it was just mere attraction and what if I took advantage of his vulnerability just thinking about it makes me cringe , oh god.....I don't know why I did what I did, I can't even seem to understand what I was thinking then,

But As soon as I gained control on my actions and pulled away from his perfect soft lips to say sorry and embarrass myself.
He kissed me back , he fucking kissed me, is he even interested in boys.. No. No. Nooo that's not what I should be concerned about that should be the last thing on my mind now but his kiss felt so.... Pure, right, needy, there were so much emotions in it.

It felt so good , I felt alive after so long , I thought I lost my capability to feel anything except vengeful.
I don't know what happened but there's something that's attracting me to him, and for the fact I know it's not just his humanly impossible good looks, there's something strong ,something elusive , I don't want him to sad even for a second, I love it when he smiles his real smile that reaches his eyes, I know there's a lot behind his handsome boy persona, he is so secretive , most of what he said was vague nothing that makes complete sense, I have a lot of questions to ask him, but I can't bring myself to ask him, how could
I? I am keeping my life to myself I basically don't talk about my family or even work with him, so how can I ask him to tell me more than he already did, it's frustrating to know just some glimpses of his life in puzzles with unfitting peices all I am certain about is he lost his mom too, but long time ago and came to know just recently? how is it possible? , what is it you are hiding bright....

Even though I had a lot of questions to ask today too like how he made those druggies go without a second fight, what did their seem to be leader said him before leaving , he was quite all the way to his house it didn't seemed right to ask him anything he didn't looked me in the eye not once, just stared outside the window , cold air messing with his hair, I was oddly calm , nothing felt awkward even after having weird situations one after another...It's like, I know all of him without knowing any of him...

When I dropped him at his house, "THANKS" is all he said, I don't know why I was disappointed it's not like he was supposed to say something else right? What else he could have had said.... Ughhh...
I don't know how to face him tomorrow ,I was the one who kissed him first means explanation must come from my side, maybe I'll just ignore it until I can and he'll forget about it, yes I'm going to do that and he will forget about it, it's not that a big deal right?Oh god I really can't understand what's wrong with me!!

SOMEWHERE IN THAILAND

"Praise the dark Lord, I your loyal follower have some information of your interest"

"You know if your claim about important information does not fit my interest you will be no good than dead "

"I am sorry Lord if I caused any hindrance in your work but I am here to tell you about saviour"

"What is it? "

"I know who he is I am 99 percent sure it was him"

"What makes you so sure? Do you know I have been searching it for so long but didn't even knew if it is a boy or a girl "

"I am not lying my dark Lord, I felt him, his resistance ,it's still lingering through my nerves, I felt his filthy pure aura choking me"

"Give me your hands"

Hesitantly the follower gave his hand , AAAHHHHHHH he felt as if his blood was boiled and soaked out of him, after minutes the pain was gone.

"I don't want any of his energy in my presence I just cleaned him off you. Now, Find him!!, get every possible information about him, you will get a reward for this my worthy follower, from now on you will lead other followers, they will serve you
You have done a good work "

"Thank you my Lord, I'll be grateful to serve for your cause in this battle
May the dark side rise ,in the name of Amorous "

" In the name of Amorous it shall. "