silver of my soul

Hope

Hope is something that keeps me going,
It keeps me from falling apart.
Hope is something I hold on to ,
On this difficult path.

                    -Mansi gupta

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WIN'S POV

Bright is driving the car I don't know how much time has passed ...not much it seems , other wise we would have been at my house by now considering bright's house is not that far from mine. We haven't said a word there's this heavy silence around. I have so much to say but my brain isn't working ,no words seems to come out of my mouth.

I fucked up, big time .I should have informed Mr. Nate , I should have called him. Even thinking that this cult.... this cult might be the one responsible for my parents... I can't take it I was so close to the truth , There's something Mr. Nate is hiding nothing makes sense things are not adding up and now...now he won't even consider telling me anything related to the case.

Should I tell him that I do remember I was looking for the cult leader on the other side of the cathedral but then I heard that voice that same tune again and for the first time it felt like it was coming from somewhere near that it was real and not a hallucination so I followed that sound I came to a stop but then everything went dark I fainted I think ,I did found something I know I did but what,Why! Why did I lost my consciousness ,what the fuck I saw, why can't I remember.

Even if I tell them this they won't believe me God I sound delusional to myself what will they think that I am definitely going through some mental illness, . My therapist would surely diagnose me with some Disorder what if I am, what if things are not right in my brain. I am forgetting things , big things like getting a tattoo, hearing voices.

"I... I am sorry I didn't know... " Bright said his voice is low, cautious.
But I am grateful for the distraction.

"You don't have to be sorry .It wasn't your fault. If anything I should be sorry for trespassing your property and... and being too naive to think that I could handle the cult situation alone. Also thanks for...you know ,letting me stay at your place and informing my family. "

My eyes stung with tears but I willed them back.

"Yeah Well umm , that was more of an intimidating gesture than polite though it wasn't my intention...my grandpa had other plans as it's clear from what... Umm happened, and I am really sorry for that.I wasn't aware of ...well everything"
He bites his lips in a way that clearly says he is nervous, and is thinking about the right words to say too afraid to utter something wrong.

"Nice to hear that I am not the only one who knows nothing" a small smile crept up his cheeks but it's gone within seconds. He hasn't looked at me once, a crease on his forehead as if driving is taking all his concentration.

"Sometimes it's better to not know some things but most of the time it sucks".

" Yeah that it really does. "

There's this silence again.
"Bright can I ask you for a favour ? "

"Of course ,what is it? "

Now he looks at me, he definitely thinks it's a chance to redeem himself , I don't know how to make him believe that I am not upset about whatever happened back at his house.

"Can you.. I mean if you could help me with the case Mr. Nate isn't going to tell me anything in detail not that he used to tell me much earlier still after today he might tell me if the case is progressing or not but he won't give any details like if they have any leads or if this was really the cult they have been Searching for. I really need to know what exactly is going on,so please if you come to know anything just inform me.I can't .....I can't not know anything "