The Rage Of Lost Lights || Loki x Reader

Chapter|| 9

After arriving back at the compound you just go to your room, not saying a word to anyone.

Why are you so ashamed for asking for help and then almost dying in the middle of the mission? Your mind was hating you for it. It made you not tolerate your weaknesses, because you haven't had any. You are the most powerful being in the universe, there were no weaknesses. At least that's what your mind has been telling you for the past three years.

You take off your suit and make your way to your bed. You need to rest more, that little nap in the Jet was definitely not enough. You look at your phone to see that it's currently 6 p.m. and as soon as you put it down and turned around to lay on your left side again you immediately fall asleep.

You wake up at, what seems in the middle of the night, it's pitch black outside. Turning around, you try to go back to sleep but it was no use. You are awake.

Knowing that you went to bed without dinner you get up and throw a big sweater over your head to keep you warm while being out of bed.

As you walk down the hallway to the kitchen you see nor hear anybody.

Are they all asleep already?

You walk into the kitchen to just make yourself a sandwich and decide to sit on the roof since that's always been your favorite place, especially at night. It's always quiet up there because there are no stairs that lead onto the roof and since you're the only person that can fly and teleport you always have the most peaceful moments sitting on the roof.

You grab your sandwich and teleport yourself onto the roof.

As you appear on top of the building, you drop your sandwich while stumbling back from the person you just teleported behind.

"Who the-" you mumble as you pick yourself up from the ground again.

"What are you doing here?" the figure asks. A male, pretty tall with a weird accent, as if he wouldn't be from this planet-

Oh.

"Loki?" you ask.

"Yes obviously, do you think Rogers would climb his way up here?" he snaps at you.

"No need to be rude. What are you doing here?"

"No, what are you doing here?" he asks back.

"This is my spot, I always sit on the roof," you snarl at him.

"Oh, is it? I thought it was Starks."

"Yes it is, but I kind of claimed the roof," you explain.

"No Y/N, you didn't claim it, you've just always been the only person to be able to teleport up here."

"Whatever, why are you so mad at me?" you ask after ending this extremely unnecessary discussion.

"We don't like each other remember?" he declares.

"Yeah, but you liked me enough to not let me die."

"I simply didn't want the team to be mad, it had nothing to do with you."

"Sure, how could I expect anything else," you say sarcastically while sitting down on the very end of the roof and start to eat your sandwich.

"Seems like we both expected things from each other that won't ever happen," he mutters under his breath while sitting next to you still letting space for two other people in between you two.

"What did you expect from me? Not to call the team so you wouldn't have to admit that you needed help in front of Thor? Loki, your ego really is a problem," you whisper yell at him.

"First of all, my ego is only a problem if you're not capable of handling it, and second of all, I knew that we couldn't do it alone, why would I be upset about you calling the team?"

"I don't know Loki, you tell me. Or did you expect me not to try to kill you?"

"No Y/N, I simply expected a 'thank you' after saving your life."

"I- didn't I," you stutter.

"No, not even a second of gratefulness."

"Sorry," you whisper.

Loki looks at you expectantly and after about a minute he throws his hands up in annoyance and gets up,

"Seriously, not even after I told you?" he snarled.

"Loki-" but he already teleported himself back into his room.

You put your knees up to your shoulders as you feel your lips slowly starting to tremble and your fists clench so tight that your nails are cutting into your palms.

Everything that goes through your mind right now is hatred, against Loki, the team but mainly, against yourself. Are you really that narcissistic that you couldn't even say a simple 'Thank you'?

While he was still sitting next to you, you felt his eyes on you. Expecting you to say something, just these two words. But nothing. He tried to read your mind but you blocked him off. But you could read his', and the disappointment that was tormenting his mind wasn't your fault, he blamed it on himself.

He blamed himself for helping you, helping a person who can't even say 'Thank you'. He was so mad at himself he even wished to have your powers, just for a second, to turn back time and just let you die on the street so he wouldn't have to feel this way right now.

What is wrong with you? Why are you crying about something that doesn't affect you? It's none of your business if he feels bad or not. Who cares?

You do.

You hate him, you did since the moment you met him. His arrogant and selfish ass was something you just couldn't find any liking in. You can keep up with Tony but that was already something you considered as a talent. But Loki, he was just so much worse.

But these thoughts don't keep you from crying about the Trickster right now. No matter how much you tried to convince your mind, coming back here did something to you.

Back in Italy, you lived on your own and you couldn't give less fucks about the Avengers. The team was simply dead for you. You didn't see yourself ever coming back and still, you kept all the clothes and supplies.

Now being back at the compound, you feel more home again. Something happens every day, it never gets boring with these people and you always have someone to talk to, even if you don't want to.
And out of a sudden, you do pay attention to what you do and say to other people, you get excited when Steve or Tony laugh about your jokes, it breaks your heart when Thor gets mad at you, you kept your mouth shut for Nat because she stopped talking to you and you were finally able to explain Netflix shows to Bucky again.

This team is something you never knew you needed but now that you do, you don't know how to comprehend that you don't want to be on your own anymore.

You need them and they need you.