Something between Us

Chapter 38.

Lola managed to keep the whole school out of the loop, she never let anyone know why I didn't turn up Monday morning after my dramatic Prom exit. 
She told them I left abruptly because I suddenly felt unwell, everyone seemed to believe her, I mean why wouldn't they. I've mastered the art of being the happy cheer captain for years.
Chase visited me in the hospital all weekend, we barely spoke two words to each other on each visit. I was relieved when Lola would turn up unannounced and help us make normal conversation. 
Lola never seemed angry, she never seemed hurt that I kept this from her, she was just worried and wanted me to get better. 
She came to see me straight after school and made sure to keep me up to date with how the day of school I missed went down. 
I appreciate her efforts at making the day sound a whole lot more exciting than it seemed like. I know she just wanted to distract me even if her tale of the day is completely fabricated. 
"I'm not going to pretend to know what's gone through your mind, or even pretend to understand why." I nod relieved by her honesty.
"But I will be here for you, no judgment, no hostility, I'm here. Promise me you'll at least contemplate calling me first before you do this." She kisses my forehead, Chase is sat in the corner of the room. 
I'm pretty sure he's just visiting now to save face. "I'll be home tonight," I tell her and Lola beams, "thank god, School sucked today without you," she paused, "right Chase."
"Right." Chase calls bluntly. 
Lola asks when I plan to come back to school and I assure her I'll be there Tuesday, I won't wallow anymore. 
"For Christ sake Lola can you give it a rest," I'm stunned when Chase yells at Lola.
She's just as stunned as she turns to face him her face the host of a harsh scowl. 
"Excuse me?" She stands up from my bed and turns to face him.
"It's all bullshit, all of this." My mouth drops open.
"You lied to every one of us Ally," I hate when he doesn't shorten my name. 
"Chase," Lola demands, I hold her arm back telling her to let Chase speak.
"The night you text me, you'd already planned to do this and you sent me an elaborate lie. I hate how easily you lie and make it sound like the truth."
I prefer this to the silence, he's finally walking over those egg shells rather than around them. 
"I love you Ally, and I'd do anything to protect you and you didn't even give me the chance too." 
"God damn it Chase, you know how to make everything about you."
Lola defending me is sweet, but it's just not her place.
"It's okay Lo, he has a right to say how he feels," I tell her, no matter how much it hurts knowing this is how Chase feels an seeing the anger flee his body as he finally lets it out to me, he needs to do this. And it sure as hell beats to being treated like a baby. 
"What would have happened to me, your mom and Lola if you died Ally? Huh," He's charging towards my bed now.
"I couldn't have survived that.. How can we trust you now. Was everything a lie?" 
The hurt in his eyes is back and I can't bring myself to speak. 
"I had to carry your body from the woods to your house. To tell your mom you'd done this to yourself and find out this isn't the first time?" 
My heart sinks, "you found me..." I can tell by the look on his face he didn't want me to hear about this. 
My cheeks are tear stained as I watch Chase walk out the doors again, this time I don't know if he'll come back.
"Don't you dare justify his actions to me Ally," Lola warns.
"We're all hurt this happened to you and you felt like you couldn't come to us, but we all have demons and how we deal with them well sometimes we don't choose how it just happens. 
He punches shit up and throws shit. You just need guidance on how to take care of your mental health." 
I appreciate Lola and her level of understanding, but I can't expect everyone to be as understanding. 
Everyone Chase has ever loved has left him or at least tried to leave him.
"He carried me Lola," I tell her and Lola nods knowing how much that very fact has destroyed me. 
"He didn't want you to find out..." I guessed as much.