Something between Us

Chapter 29.

Chases POV.

The anger building up inside of me isn't a stranger too me.
The blood trickling down my knuckles reminds me of a time in my past when my only response to the feeling of hurt was aggression and anger. They're happily familiar to me.
I close my eyes trying to block out the sight of my Dads home smashed up.
The yellow lampshade now shamed to pieces on the floor accompanied by glass from our wall hanging mirror that once hung above the rustic fireplace.
I can't keep my eyes closed for long.
The moment my eyes are closed my mind imagines them together. He's kissing her puffy rose lips and she's laughing at him her sweet hypnotic laugh.
How could I be so stupid, I hated myself for hurting her.
I hated how I was always pushing away the one constant in my life.
How was I that blind. It was all a lie, she was a liar, and a damn good one at that.
I through a punch at the wall trying to take the pain away from my tear stung eyes; they're burning from the constant tears.
"What the hell happened in here.."
My fathers voice breaks me from my hysteria. He's furious I know before I've even turn to look at him how angry he is.
"Answer me Goddamn it," I turn to face him, my face emotionless, the tears on my cheeks the only evidence of how I really feel.
"I got pissed off," I tell him flat as I brush past him.
"You can't smash my house up when things get tough Chase. Not anymore."
I remain silent and move to the couch.
"I thought things were better, you've been happy lately."
My dad is concerned I know he is ever since my mom and DeDe died I've handled every emotion with anger.
He sighs, "you're back into music, doing well in school, your councillor has seen so much progress Chase."
I'm mute my poor sod of a father tries to get it. He tries to understand my rage but truth is, he can't.
When I remain silent the old man keeps on going
"You and a certain Cheer Captain ,-"
"Fuck her." I snap at the very thought of her.
He doesn't even need to say her name to make my blood curdle.
"Right, so this is what this mess is about. Come one man."
I hate when my dad tries to understand me and act like my pal.
"I thought you guys were dating now?"
I loose my temper I rise to my feet kicking the couch on the way up.
"Didn't you know," I laugh, "turns out it's Charlie she's into."
I laugh more. Hiding my misery.
"Turns out I'm just the brother she settled for."
I can feel the rage returning my heads about to explode from the anger.
"How can you say that Chase?" My dad looks like he's seen a ghost.
His face is white as a sheet. "I overheard the tool mocking her about it."
I'm pulling at my hair now balling my hands into fists. I need to fucking hit something.
"What exactly did you hear?" that's weird as hell I thought my dad would be pissed too.
His green eyed girl cosy with his rapist son and leading his fucked up son on.
I'm looking at him confused, get angry Dad. Get as fucking angry as me!
"What does it matter?"
"What exactly did this guy say?"
He seems adamant to know, I rack my brain recalling the uncomfortable conversation. "Something about keeping secrets from me," I hiss.
"I don't know dad, that she can't be honest with me about her and Charlie."
I need to hit something I need to get these fucked up images of Ally and my perverted brother out my head before I fully loose it.
"Did she explain what that meant?" His clam as fuck attitude is pissing me off more and more by the second.
"Just the whole it's not what you think bullshit."
I laugh at the irony, "sweet little Ally Bear using the oldest excuse in the book."
My dad shoots me a protective glare only its not me he's feeling protective over and that's only fuelling my rage more. My fist is in the wall again. I'm a maniac.
"Stop it boy!" The old man yells but I can't be arsed to to speak anymore. Hitting shit feels better to me.
"Chase, did you actually listen to her? Let her explain."
My dad sighs and in my mind I'm picturing my fist hitting his grey beard.
"Why the fuck would you defend her?" I demand answers, always sweet innocent Ally, she can't do no damn wrong in anyone's eyes.
"You didn't hear the whole conversation. You heard parts of it. Maybe you should have heard it first" he pauses, "directly from Ally."
"Well I told her to go to hell and I meant that dad.  don't want to hear it. I don't give a shit anyway." I spit, my annoyance is at an all time high.
I don't know how I've managed not to hit this son of a bitch. How can he be this calm? 
"Listen to me Chase," woah fuck, he's angry now? His voice is raised and his nostrils are flared.
"Ally was a freshman," he's talking weird. It's like he's slow or something. I can't work it out. But what's Ally being a Freshman got to do with shit?
"She was a Freshman when Charlie was last in town.
He's taking a couple of deep breathes.
"Tell me honestly." He pauses his eyes are on me but I can't work out what he's thinking.
"You knew her better than anyone. Do you really believe she was ready for a sexual relationship back then?"
He walks over to me which is a risky move with how much anger I'm feeling bubbling towards him, he puts his hand on my shoulder.
"Charlie was a Senior and Ally was a Freshman. think about it." He's giving me a code that only I can unlock. I just don't know what the fuck he's getting at. 
He eyes me with caution. "You need to think about it son. Really think."
My mind goes into overdrive my dad's so calm and I've literally told him his son fucked a child and she's played me for a fool all these years.
It's like it's not even new knowledge to him. What the fuck have I missed.
"What are you saying?"
"I'm telling you to give that girl the chance to tell you the truth."
I stand up and slam my hands on the coffee table.
"What do you know about the God damn truth?" I yell at my Dad the lack of respect I'm showing  to him, and I couldn't give a crap, he's messing with my mind more than she has.
"I know Ally" he sighs "and I know Charlie."
He's looking at me as if his words hold some meaning but it's lost on me in the state that I'm in. "And I thought you did too," -
"If you know so much why don't you just tell me, huh," I challenge him.
"It's not my place to break her trust Chase." That does it for me. He knew all this time. He knows what happened and he still won't tell me. Jackass.
"What I will tell you is you'll never forgive yourself if you don't give her the time of day.
Ally loves you Chase. Everything she's ever done or hid from you has come from a place of love. Not deceit."
I'll kick him where it hurts.
"If you're so perfect would you have gave mom the time of day? Huh?"
I know bringing my mom into this s low. But he's pissed me right off.
I'm expecting him to get mad, he doesn't and that sucks.
"I would, because I knew your mother and I knew her heart. When you love someone Chase, you listen to them. You fight, but you stick around, you don't push away the good in your life."
Team fucking Ally. It sucks.
"You make the mess you clean it up." 

I'm so pissed at my dad. Luckily he's on a night shift tonight so I don't have to hear him going on about giving Ally the chance to explain.
He can go hear her out if he's so bothered. I have this weird as fuck feeling that tells me he already knows the whole stroy.
Damn it. As I'm picking up the pieces of glass I catch the palm of my hand, dark blood is leaking from the small cut. I don't care enough to wipe it away.
Fuck sakes! The knock at the door pisses me of. I'm half convinced it's not Ally after she told me she wouldn't bother explaining herself to an ass that doesn't give a crap.. 
The irony of me being the douche bag even now is pretty damn funny.
Part of me knows when Ally cares she doesn't just give up like that.
I'm disappointed in myself when I'm walking to the bastard door wanting Ally to be stood behind it.
I toy with myself, do I open the door, do I ignore it. There's not another knock so I wonder if whoever it was has gone now.
The thought of her not being stood behind the door urges me to open it quickly.
When I do she's there.
Dark curly hair blowing in the wind. I want to smile at her lions main and run my hands through the chaos of her curls that barely look brushed.
I'm looking down at the petite girl who's bright green eyes now look as lifeless as I feel.
The sparkles gone.
I want to hold her pained face in my hands I wish I could turn the sorrow into happiness.
But she did this. Not me.
Her eyes are supported by red circles and her cheeks are puffier than usual.
This is all because of her lies, not mine.
"Chase, hi," she doesn't know how to act around me. I don't think she expected me to open the door. Good.
"What do you want?"
If I give her the time of day she's going to be all girl like and think that means she's forgiven.
If I ignore her my dad's going to be on my case. I can't win.
"I didn't have sex with Charlie. I've never been with another boy, only you."
That confession takes me off guard. I know she's said before but part of me didn't believe it.
She was with the tool a while, I figured she must have with him.
"You were the only guy I trusted with all of me."
She's good, she really is fucking good.
"You don't have to believe me, but you needed to know that. You were my first Chase, and my only. If you should know anything it's that."
She looks exhausted I feel like a jerk but I don't know what I'm supposed to say to that.
 "Not even tool," that grants me with the sound of her laugh it's only small, but enough to suffice,
"Not even the tool." I know she's holding something back but I'm starting to think there's more to this than I'm ready to understand.
Fuck it, I smile. I don't want to, but she makes it difficult to ignore the urges.
There's something about her that makes me believe her. Even if I'm not quite sure why.
"You're bleeding."
Her eyes shoot to my hands, fuck. She takes my hand in hers, my giant hands make hers looks like a child's hand.
She's inspecting the blood like a doctor.
"This looks deep."
I go to pull my hand away buy heck, she's stronger than she looks.
"It's fine Al, leave it."
I tell her and the way her green eyes glisten at her name, I realise I've fucked up answering the door.
She walks past me into the house, she stops almost immediately when she sees the state I've made.
"You should go."
I tell her and watch the slight bit of light in her eyes dim.
"Yeah sure." she's disheartened but after seeing the result of my anger, it makes it easier for her to walk away I guess.
Maybe its disgust at me for having no respect for my dads home, who knows.
"What happened Ally?"
I ask her ask she walks away. I don't know what made me want to know, but I do now.
I'm ready to hear it. I think I ned to.
"Maybe one day I'll tell you." she sighs, "when we're both ready for that conversation." 
She's walking away from me now and I'm confused. What am I missing that seems blatantly obvious to everyone else.
I run out after he. Why now, why doesn't she want to talk now.
"You never walk away Ally, why now?"
She looks at me like I'm her broken toy.
"I seen what I can do to you Chase. You're not ready to hear it." She's crying with regret.
"But know it's not what you think."
Ally walks away and this time I let her. I watch the girl I love carry something heavy on her shoulders and I let her walk away. She thinks she's broken me. Maybe she had.
What am I not ready to hear? If she didn't sleep with what the fuck is she hiding. She doesn't think I can handle the truth. But, if she didn't sleep with my brother, what truth could be worse to hear than that.
When I walk back into my empty house with glass and broken pieces of pot all over the place.
I get why she walked away. I am broken and I'll bring her down with me if she lets me.