Something between Us

Chapter 21.

"Point your toes."
I laugh at Chase who is anything but graceful.
"What is that posture?"
I shake my head standing behind him pushing at his back to straighten him up.
He's complaining but I can't hear him over the backing track and my laughter.
I'm sure he's regretting this idea.
"Never go into teaching."
He tuts "you're terrible at it."
Chase lifts his leg barely off the ground, "is this okay?"
I screw myself what is he doing. I look at his bent leg barely even an inch off the floor.
"Not even close."
I turn the volume up on my phone, 'Photograph,' plays through the tiny speaker.
I smile at Chase stepping away from him. He watches me closely as my small frame grows taller as I stand on the tips of my toes lifting my left leg to up to my head pointing my toes to the old ruined ceiling.
I give Chase a smug wink, telling him this is how it's done.
The music takes over my senses. I leap in the air from my spot on the floor spinning my body as I melt into the lyrics.
"I'll keep these memories for myself," dramatically lunging my body into a back flip, landing in splits.
Chase stands and watches, never moving from his position in the room.
I end the freestyle contemporary routine laying on my back on the floor, eye closed breathing heavy.
"You're amazing Al."
He whispers bringing me back from my trance.
"I feel better"
I tell him as I sit up  my eyes are on him now and he looks satisfied with himself.
"I knew it would work."
He bends down and I lift my head up to meet him half way he brushes his lips on mine softly. "But, you can't teach for shit."
He says against my lips.
"Hell you can dance though." He laughs into my mouth kissing me again.

I was terrified to leave the safety net we had built in my bedroom my mind went into a state of panic at how different things could potentially be between us come Monday morning.
My worry was wrongly placed, nothing has changed.
It's now Monday evening and Chase has not faltered, he's no longer cold to me he listens to my feelings and he's my saviour.
The affectionate way he touches me and holds me makes my heart leap.
"Do you want to come inside?" I ask.
 "I don't think that's a good idea."
He shifts uncomfortably. I don't know how to respond but I'm sure my face tells him how I feel.
"I mean, I want to if you're prepared for your moms fifty question fire round."
He points his head to where my moms car is parked on the driveway.
"I wasn't blowing you off."
He brushes a loose strand of her from my cheek before bringing his fingers to my chin tilting my head up to meet his eyes.
"I'm not running away this time Al."
I needed the reassures he sounds so sure of himself.
"But if you don't mind I will happily come in and repeat Friday night, Saturday morning, Saturday night and Sunday morning,-"
I put my hand over his mouth to silence him.
"Okay I get it."
His tongue moves the palm of my hand making me pull away quickly.
"She'll have missed you, you know she hates leaving you all weekend."
I love this side of Chase, thoughtful, playful and sweet.
"Leave your window open, I'll climb up in a couple of hours."
He winks at me, I like this side too cheeky and mischievous.

The blinds flicker closed as I approach the porch  I know what I'm in for when I walk through the door.
Before I've taken my hand off the door handle my mom is in my face eager eyed.
"What was that I just witnessed?"
She's a little too excited.
"How was your trip?"
I ask trying to change the subject.
"Oh no we aren't talking about that now.  I want to know what I missed while I was gone for the weekend."
I have to laugh internally, the thought of divulging this information to my mom is hysterical. "You looked cosy."
I walk to the kitchen ignoring her. She's practically chasing me.
I don't know how I thought I'd get away from this that easily.
A smile emerges on her face when sits on the kitchen stool patting the table for me to sit down too.
She grabs the milk and cocoa powder like she always does every evening she gets home from work trips.

Mom places our hot chocolate in the middle of us on the table taking a seat opposite me.
She leans into the table as if to make the conversation more private.
"How many marshmallows?"
Before I can say a number she pours a heavy handful over the whipped cream and I laugh at her childish ways before taking a sip.
She looks at me with her emerald green eyes and tried face in anticipation.
"Chase and I have been spending time together, you know we've been working on our project."
I point out facts she already knows.
"We had a couple of disagreements." I take another sip.
"But we sort of make up and spent a lot of time together this weekend."
I know what she's going to ask so I don't give her chance.
"We aren't dating or together or anything close to that."
My mom eyes met with caution.
"Do you want that with him?"
I shrug. "we haven't even had that kind of talk yet, I don't know," I lie.
I know more than anything I want that with him.
"Not yet at least, I've barely broken up with Tate and things with Chase have only just started to feel like we stand a chance at having something, I don't want to complicate things."
I throw my hands in the air in frustration, my mom nods seeming to understand me.
"But I'm happy mom, I'm sad how things worked out with Tate but,-"
I pause briefly.
"It's always been Chase hasn't it."
She smiles at me knowingly.
"It's always been him for you honey, we all know that. You deserve to have what you want."
I look at the hot cup in my hands my face burning.
"I've always been rooting for you two."
I know that's true, my moms always believed there was something between us that nobody could deny.
We were just kids, we brushed it off and thought she was barking mad.
"Does he know?"
I look at her confused "that you love him."
She asks casually and I nod.
"He's always known."
"Does he love you?" I smile, I can't hide the light feeling in my chest.
"He does mom." It feels so good to know that. It's a fact that Chase loves me and I love him.
 "So what's there to work out?"
I know she doesn't mean to offend me but I can't help when I harshly yell out.
"A lot."
She's silent for a little while before walking round the table to me.
"I know he hurt you Ally, it hurt me to see you like that."
I can see my moms eyes flashback to picture of me crying in my room while she laid beside me feeling every bit of my pain.
"You have to remember he was just a kid sweetheart, you were both so young."
She sighs,  "someone can grow up a hell of a lot in a year." 
I hope that's true.
"He made a big commitment to you and it scared him and like a typical man, he ran."
My moms words are attempting to comfort me.
"I'm not making excuses for him."
She places her hands over mine.
"People do grow and now I see a young man in him, someone who wants to make the world perfect for you."
Sure she was mad at the time, she cursed him and threatened violence on him like any mother would.
She just never held it against him and done her best to make sure I wouldn't either.
"When his mom and DeDe died," a tear fills in her eyes.
"God Chase went into some dark places and you brought him out of them."
"Sometimes he brought the darkness into you and that hurt."
I can't look at her now, I don't want to show her my sadness.
"You needed that time apart now he's a young man that his mom and dad will be proud of."
My mom is intrusive at times but right now she's making perfect sense.
"Don't let the past hold you back baby, anyone with eyes knows that you love each other."
She pauses, "Accept your past, love yourself first and then the rest is easy."
"Let him love you, and show him he deserves love too."
My mom tightens her hold on my hands.
"You're so young but you love so passionately don't waste time because of fear."
She relaxes her hold before kissing my forehead and wishing me sweet dreams.

As I walk up to my bedroom I remind myself of my moms pleas not to let the past hold me back anymore.
I know I'm not holding back on Chase for the reasons she believes I am.
I'm not ready to address my issues.
I'm a coward, I know I am.
The truth is when something terrible happens sometimes the easiest option is to run away and hide from it.
That's exactly what I do. I push my demons to the back of my mind and pretend there's no worries in my life.
"Hey you."
I'm startled by Chase already in my bedroom.
"Your window was left open."
He shrugs warily when I don't greet him with open arms.
"I didn't think you'd be here yet."
Is all I can say and I'm frustrated at myself for being so cold.
"Do you want me to leave?"
I shake my head immediately.
"Sorry, I've just had an intense conversation with my mom."
I walk over to the bed and sit besides him.
"I'm glad you're here."
I rest my head on his shoulders feeling the weight of the world evaporate.
I feel him sigh a breath of relief and he pulls us back onto my bed so we're resting against the head bored and I find this my new favourite place to be.
"I love you," Chases kisses away my fears as I fall asleep in his arms.