Something between Us

Chapter 39.

Chase's POV

I watch as Ally walks away, in fact she's running away from me if I know Ally like I think I do she'll go to the place she feels the safest.
Lola tries to convince me to let her be, she needs to come to terms with a lot of things. She thinks she knows Ally better than I do, but no one does. There's no one that knows that girl more than me. I know how her heart beat feels, how it sounds when she's worried, when she's happy or excited.
I know when the light dims in her eyes there's only so many places she will flea to to protect herself.
I head towards the old ballet studio, I'm convinced that's where Ally would go.
I've tried calling her that many times if an FBI agent found her phone they would give me a restraining order for harassment on the spot.

My phone lights up in my pocket and Ally's name flashes on the screen. I sigh with relief when she tells me she's home with her mom.
I let out a laugh at her Pretty Woman comment, I can hear and her mom gushing over the guy now. I let out a deep breath. When it comes to Ally I always feel like she's holding back on something and I constantly have to keep my wits about me. I can't let the worry for her I have down easily. There's something about this girl that screams to me, watch out for her. Not in a I can't trust her way. But in a way that tells me no matter how many times this girl tells me she's okay. Ask again. Ask Again.

But tonight I don't ask again. I respect her wishes for the first time in our years of tangled love. I let the stubborn girl convince me everything's okay.
I tell my girl that I love her, that I'll always be hers. I don't know what it is but I know I need to say it to her tonight. She needs me to say it.

FUCK! My fist is bleeding now, the blood is trickling down my knuckles as I hit the kitchen wall repeatedly.
"Stop it." My dad comes up behind me using all his strength to stop me.
Isn't it ironic how mad I am at Ally for harming herself yet here I am begging for the walls to rip through my knuckles. A feeling I know all to well.
"Get the hell off me," I yell but he doesn't listen, my dad has never respected my boundaries.
I try to shake him off but my dads a big guy, he's tall and broad. He likes to tell us how before he became a silver fox he was a hot gym guy. I've never known why he shares that with me but it is what it is.
"Calm down Chase then I'll let you go." My hands got me in a head lock now, my hands are attacking him trying to get him loosen his grip.
"Calm down boy" he warns me again, "you can't keep doing this when you're hurt man."
I finally give in and let the tears I've held back since Prom night escape.
Now I've opened the flood gates there's no going back.
"Why did she do it Dad?" I finally let out the one question that's been burning in my mind and sending me into melt down.
I let out and fall to the floor. My dad's holding me in his arms, he's comforting me now and I'm sure he's crying too.
"I don't know son," He sniffs, he is crying. Of course he is. He adores Ally too, he's been a father to her since her douche bag sperm donner skipped out on them.
"I know you're angry at her, you're hurt and confused but Chase," he sighs, "you've just smashed up this house in anger and hit the walls till your knuckles bleeding."
I know what he's trying to get at, he's not calling me out but he thinks I need to try and be more understanding.
"She tried to kill herself Dad! It's completely different."
My dad doesn't say another word, he just hugs me tight patting my back.
"Take all the time out you need but don't take too much time son."

I can't help but look over at Ally's house all night, I'm sat on my porch telling myself to respect her decision, she's not mad she just wants a night to herself. That's okay right.
She is with her mom after all, they'll probably already have the second film lined up to watch.
I laugh trying to figure out which film that'll be. Something with Dancing in it I'd think.
"Come on son it's getting late," my dads been trying to get me to come in since I got back from the Dance, but I've just sat like a peeping Tom looking into Ally's window, hoping to catch a glimpse of her, just to have confirmation she's okay.
"For the love of God just go sneak over there and see her. This pining is killing me." My dad teases. I look at him in shock.
"Oh come on, you know I knew you were sneaking through her window right. I'm old I ain't deaf son." I laugh as he swats my shoulder.
"Go to her." That bit of reassurance is all I need I smile and nod.
"Yeah I will... just to check on her."
I have to get that part in there it gives me the creeps my dad knowing I'm sneaking in a girls bedroom window.

I want to call Al, I want to tell her I'm an idiot and I suck at knowing how to handle things. But that's not the truth. I hate myself for it but I'm angry at her. I wish she would have spoke to me first, to her mom or Lola. She has so many people who love her, who want the best for her and she chose to hurt herself rather than speaking to someone. It's a hard thought to process.
It haunts me thinking about the way my stomach hit the floor the moment it dawned on me that something bad had happened. Finding her stone cold laying out alone, covered in blood haunts me. When I think about her, that's all I see. When I look at her, that's how she looks to me now.
I'm ashamed to admit it.