Something between Us

Chapter 19.

Chase and I haven't spoke since the game. 
I'm tired of this we get so close. The hurt, the anger everything slowly fades and yet here we are again. Arguing over who's right and who's wrong.
I'm starting to feel like we're in a music video of a break up song that never ends.
How dare he accuse me of playing up to the attention of two guys. 
Sure I shouldn't have kept dating Tate when I knew I had feelings for Chase but Tate and I are broken up. 
All my attention has been on making things work with Chase that I didn't get closure on my break up with Tate. 
If he wasn't so hostile last week he'd know that's all the conversation was between us.
I wanted to talk to him so I could finally close that chapter and give me and Chase the chance to get closer.
Not having that relationship fully closed off has been a barrier between us.
I wanted to be all in, but he seen me with Tate and instantly thought the worst.
I'm convinced he's trying to sabotage us.
He'll always be too scared to really give himself to me. I know that now. 
So what's the best thing for Chase to do, get angry or become cold and leave me stranded with my feelings.

Lola convinced me to go shopping.
She's fed up of me feeling sorry for myself and she's convinced Chase and I will be over our 'tiff' by the end of the week.
I on the other hand am not too sure of that.
He's ignored me for days, three days to be exact and I already find myself missing him.
But I won't run after him now. He blew things way out of proportion so refuse to let go of my stance on this one. 
"Just one more shop"
She pleads with me after dragging me into every shop in the mall.
I've already bought three new t-shirts, one pink, one lilac and one white; white sneakers and two pairs of silk polka dot pyjamas.
"Look how much happier you are already."
She tells me gesturing to the many shopping bags in my hands.
"We'll eat once we go in here," her head points to a lingerie store.
"Really, is that appropriate right now?"
I laugh. "Aren't we supposed to be taking my mind off guys?"
"This is your problem, you assume you have to be dressing for guys."
I raise my brow confused.
"We're buying something that you feel sexy in and not for a guys benefit."
I like Lola's logic behind this.
"If you can't make yourself feel sexy, you can't feel sexy for anyone else."
She tells me and I find myself agreeing with her. I've never thought about it like that, but damn I will now.

After looking through the racks full of underwear Lola insists it's time to try some on.
I don't know what makes me agree to this, but I do.
I walk out from the dressing room in a little red lace number.
"Holy shit," Lola's jaw has practically hit off the floor.
She was right about it being important to feel sexy for yourself.
The way the lace of the red body suit intertwined with silk clings to the curves of my body makes me feel amazing.
The suspenders and matching stockings make me feel like I've been pulled out of an erotic film. The bra hugs my breast tight, I'm practically suffocating.
"The red silk dressing gown hanging up in the corner will look perfect with this."
Lola points to the gown hung up near my dressing room.
"Your friend is right," the pretty blonde shop assistant agrees before collecting the gown and handing it to me.
She's pushy, but I suppose it's her job to be so she can up her sales sp I don't begrudge it.
"I hope whoever gets to see you in this doesn't have a weak heart."
Elena, her name according to her gold name tag, tells me when  agreed to buy the full set.

After paying for our items we find a little Chinese restaurants in the food court.
We can never comprise on much, but we always agree on Chinese.
"Hey ladies, welcome," a petite looking Asian lady with dark bobbed hair approaches us as we wait to be seated.
"Let me show you to your table."
She grabs some menus from the counter and leads us to our table.
"Do you ladies need a moment?" She asks with a sweet smile. 
We don't need time of decide on our order, we always pick the same thing.
"I'll have Cantonese style sweet and sour chicken, with egg fried rice please."
I smile at the lovely lady.
Lola orders king prawn curry and rice with a side of noodles and a water for balance.

"This is the best restaurant here," I nod taking a bite of the complimentary free spring rolls.
"Are you okay?" Lola asks, concerned.
"I'm fine, honestly." I lie.
"Thanks for today, I needed it" I smile before taking a bite of my meal.
"You know you and Chase always do this. Your fights never last too long."
I know Lola's trying to make me feel better, but her words don't offer me comfort.
Instead she's successfully reminding me of how toxic this back and forth game between us has become.
"How about not talking for the whole of Junior year?" I remind her and she winces at the reality of that.
I know she's thinking of anything to say to make me feel better but there's no point.
I take a long drink of my glass of water hoping she stops prying.
Her eyes dart to the other end of the restaurant, they widen as she sets her sights on something that  can only imagine being a murder scene but the sheer look of horror on her face.
I become suspicious when she pulls out the clothes she's bought to show me.
I've already see them; I was with her when she bought them.
"What the bell are you staring at?"
I ask, before turning around Lola yells.
"Don't turn around."
 This only makes my curiosity only bubble over, the urgency in her voice should be enough of a warning for me to listen.
But of course it has the opposite effect one me.
I follow her eye line and my eyes land on the object of her skittish behavouir.
"It's cool Lola, I'm fine."
I try to ignore the heaviness in my heart.
"I see him all the time in school and in my neighbourhood."
I remind her but her face is lilly white now and I soon realise why.
Chase is stood waiting to be seated. But now my eyes have focused properly I've noticed that he's not alone.
Standing beside him is a rather tall lean girl.
Her hair is pin straight, above the shoulder length: a mousy brown and she's pretty.
My heart literally comes to a stop and I choke on my own breath. Ouch.