Not even him

CHAPTER 1

"Fag"
"Worthless"
"Ugly"
"Stupid"
"Worst singer in the band"
"Attention whore"
"Wominizer"

All words most people told me daily. Right now we were all sitting in me and louis flat watching a movie. Tonight was Liam's pick and he chose toy story of course. I was sitting in a recliner alone. I'd gotten bored of the movie and pulled out my phone to twitter. Yeah, bad idea. As usual there was hate millions of people telling me things I already knew. There's always the usual, "why is Harry in the band", "worst singer ever", "he's only there cause his looks." Those just being a few of what came daily.

There was one that hurt though more than they normally do. "@harrystyles louis will never love a fag like you. How could he? How could anyone? Your just a useless, worthless, piece of shit that no one loves. GOSH JUST KILL YOURSELF ALREADY!!!"

Tears slowly started to stream down my face. Luckily, the boys were too caught up in the movie to notice. I slowly got up, careful to not make too much noise. I headed to the bathroom and collected myself. When I walked out louis was waiting to go next. He just pushed passed ignoring my existence, my red puffy eyes, and the scratch marks on my arms.

That hurt.

Liam saw. He walked over to me. I began fidgeting, getting nervous. Could he tell??? How'd he know? And why the fuck is it so hot in here?

"Haz you ok? I saw you on your phone before you got up earlier." Shit. "Oh, yeah i'm fine. Really dont worry about me, I'm all good. Promise." Fuck, I hated lying to the boys. "I'm sorry Harry. Louis dosen't see anything now in days. I guess getting a girlfriend does that to you. Too focused on them instead, of the world around you. Still no reason to be so rude to you." I've been holding back tears from the moment Louis passed me."Yeah I guess so. Its probably cause me, i tend to 'fuck things up' people say." Liam looked at me sympathetically. Ugh i hate their pitty. Im fine really, I don't need it. "Haz" he said sternly "don't listen to them everyone loves you. And that even means Louis. We all love you Lou loves you. Ok?!"

And there it went, a tear slipped down my eye. I was fucked.
"Haz, you sure your good.?" Damn it I was braking in front them. I cant do this, they cant see me like this. My breathing started to pick up. Fuck. "Haz look at me, are you ok???"

I started backing up with every step he took toward me. I was hyperventilating by this point. Now all boys were looking at me. Then, just fucking then. The arm of my sweater caught the counter. I screamed out in pain. Ok, now i was having a full on panic attack.

"Haz!!! Are you ok!" Liam said rushing to me on the ground. The curts on my wrist reopened and blood was now trickling down. I couldn't let them see.

"I- I my. I'm s- so-rry." i was able to manage out between my still quicking breaths. Zyan came over. "Harry, don't be sorry. Whats wrong??? You need to breath ok deep breaths. I think your having a panic attack. Just breathe with me." Damn it he fucking knew. "I- i have an inhaler i-in m-my bag i th-think." Zayn went over to my bag searching for it. "Harry try to breath you need to breathe your panic attack is mixing with you asthma." Liam was getting concerned i could tell, Niall was trying to comfort me, and Zyan was still looking for my inhaler GOD ITS GOT TO BE IN THERE!!! Just then louis came out. He looked between a crying niall trying to comfort me, a worried Liam trying to direct all the commotion, and a frantic Zyan who wass trying to find my sphere inhaler cause my other ran out!!! And a pathetic wheezing, lightheaded, scared, depressed, harry. I was getting dizzy. "What the fuck is happing out here." "harry is having an asthma attack and we cant find his inhaler!!! Why the fuck did it take you so damn long. Care to i don't know!!! HELP!!!" Liam screamed at louis to bring him back to the situation. Ok things are getting darker now. "L-iam i-i-it's d-dar-dark." i really couldn't breath now. "H-harry stay with me please!!! Look at me. Keep you eyes open haz." Louis rushed over and was now trying to make harry keep his eyes open.

I was slipping into darkness. I just let it consume me.

"HARRY!!!" niall screamed hoping i'd open my eyes again. Liam was now on the phone calling 911. Zayn gave up on finding the inhaler it was too late. Louis just sat there shocked, he was too scared to do anything.

He saw harry's bleeding wrist.

The ambulance quickly showed up, pushing the 4 boys out of their way. They put an oxygen mask on him and took him awat to the nearest hospital.

What the fuck just happened. And how the fuck did it happen so quickly.