I woke up to a headache with a slight hangover. At first I wasn't sure where I was. That's when the events of last night hit me. Fuck. A single tear slid down my face. Then I broke. Damn it why, why me?
Liam must have heard my whimpers. I was trying to stop crying about it all I've been doing. He came in with pills, water, and my phone. He was very calm and content. "Haz? Oh, come here please don't cry please. Here I got you some medicine. I know your head must hurt. After you take it go get in a shower then we can pack." "Thank you. I'm so sotty you have to deal with me right now you don't have to really." I felt bad he's done so much, too much."No Haz. I want to. Don't be sorry." I just nodded leaving it at that.
I always hated looking in the mirror. I usually avoid it as much as I can. I was trying not to look and I knew it'd be bad. I was able to get into the shower and slowly washed my hair. I was just so exhausted both mentally and physically. Damn, i was trying not to think of yesterday. I started to just think of all the what ifs. What if I just walked out with the other boys. What if I just spoke out. What if Eleanor wasn't at the house. What if Liam didn't pick up. What if no one got those photos. What if Just killed myself in that hotel room. What if Simon just never yelled at me. Just, what if???
I was knocked out of my thoughts by a knock. "Hey it's been like 45 minutes you ok in there? Need anything?" it'd been that long. "Oh, um sorry just thinking. No, I'm good to be out in a minute." I got out and dressed into some clothes Liam gave me. Mine were dirty and had alcohol and blood on them.
When I walked into the living room Liam looked up at me "hey, your mom called she sounded upset said she wanted to see as soon as possible. Is everything ok? You want me to come?" What? What would be so important. "Um, no I got it thanks though I guess I should get going then. See you later." He looked a bit concerned "yeah, see ya."
On the drive over a million scenarios ran through my head. She doesn't usually call me up like that unless it's super important. Before I knew it, I was in front of her House.
I knocked and she answered immediately. She looked upset and angry. I was getting a bit scared. She finally spoke after we sat in the living room with tense silence. "Oh harry, what have you done? Tell me is it true? Is true your a fag?" WHAT IN THE HELL. "M-mom w-what? What do you mean?" " oh lord you are aren't you? Oh nonononono." What in the world is happening. "Mom I've been gay for a while you said you knew and understood. Wha-what happened?" "I thought you just weren't sure. I thought it was one of those phases." "How the hell is being gay a phase?!?" "I-i can't have a son like you like a... like a fag. Not in the family. I thought I raised you right. What did I do wrong?" "Mo-mom whats wrong?" "DON'T CALL ME THAT!!!" "Wh-what? What do you mean?" NO, no. you aren't my son I-i'm gunna disown you that's what I'll do! I can't and I won't have disgrace like you in my family!" I couldn't even cry anymore. I itched for my razor to take all the pain away. Sh-she's really disowning me. How in the hell is my life getting worse? "No please, please I need you, my mom." I'm now on my knees begging and pleading with her to let me stay. "I TOLD YOU I'M NOT YOUR MOM ANYMORE!!! GET OUT! GET OUT NOW!!!" "w-what!?! N-no please." "No." she said coldly.
She was so disgusted by me she disowned me.
She was pushing me out the door. She slammed it and locked it. I was banging on it, pleading that she'd forgive me.
I slowly stood and walked to my car, getting in. It's still processing. She's disowning me. I started to drive blank faced and with music on. One question filled my head.
Why, why me???
I had to call someone the person I could call was Liam. thank god he answered.
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LIAM'S POV
I was concerned for Harry. Was his mom ok? The poor lad he's gone through so much I don't know how he can do it. Just then a rigging brought me out of my thoughts. It was Louis.
( louis is in italics )
L- hey what's up?
L- LIAM, WHERE ARE YOU WE LEAVE TODAY??? AND WHERE'S HARRY IS HE OK? WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT? CAN I TALK TO HIM? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? AND ONCE AGAIN WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?
L- louis calm down. Harry is at his moms. A LOT happened last night that i think he should be the one to tell you guys. He's not really ok so to say but he's safe and alive. Harry jus needed an extra day and I'm staying with him.
L- what d-do you mean he's alive. Of course he's alive, why'd you say it like that? What did Simon do to him?
L- I mean a lot happened and let's just say. He was close to dying well i-. T-to. I shouldn't be the one to say this is a him thing. He's safe, that's what matters Lou.
My phone rang again. It was harry.
L- I've go to go harry's calling bye
I hung up quickly answering Harry's call. What I heard on the other lined scared me
Harry definitely wasn't ok this time
YOU ARE READING
Not even him
Fanfiction.....there wasn't anything we could do. I could do. What was done was done, there wasn't anything to change that. Not even him. Not even he could save me. It's not like anyone cared right. Not. Even. Him. TW- self harm, depression, drinking, langua...
