2 months earlier
It was around 7am when we got the call that Simon needed us in his office ASAP.
Today is our last day before the tour starts tomorrow. Simon calling us wasn't something too surprising. I got up and ready as quickly as possible. After taking a quick shower, brushing my teeth and finding some clean clothes, I walked down to the kitchen to start breakfast for me and Lou.
Yes, me and him live together. I'm not old enough to own my own apartment so i have to share with louis that's why he's also my legal guardian at least while being on tour.
I just made some simple eggs and bacon with toast and juice. Almost right on time Louis walked down the stairs. "Morning Haz. whatcha cookin good lookin?" He's pretty chirpy in the mornings. "Just something simple. He really wanted us there quickly, so better eat up so we can get going." Louis and Harry just sat and ate with bits of small talk.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We were now waiting with the other boys in the waiting room. I was getting anxious and started fidgeting. I always hated these meetings. I felt someone tap on my shoulder. It was Louis. "Hey, they called us." I looked up to see the other boys and the front desk lady walking to the door. "Oh, sorry spaced out."
When we walked in we were greeted by Simon. He shook our hands and told us to have a seat. "As you know boys you will be starting your tour tomorrow. I just wanted to go over the rules as always and tell you more of the details on how you will get there tomorrow. Sound good?" We all nodded our heads slightly yes. We knew we'd be here for a while.
Yeah so its now 2 hours later and he's rapping up.
When we all thought he was done he asked for me to stay longer. Louis told me he'd get a ride since I drove.
He pulled me back to his office to 'talk privately'. We both sat in silence for a bit. He was the one to speak up. "So I've heard some things word spreads quickly. Nothing really surprised me to say. I mean if I were to be honest i already sortta knew." I'm so confused right now. "I'm so sorry but im not sure what it is your talking about right now." He looked at me almost evilly. "Well you see Harry it's not good for the brand for there to be a fag in the band." Who the fuck told him. I've never told anyone I wasn't even 100% sure myself yet. "What would your bandmates think if they knew? What would Louis think if he knew? How would they feel that their fellow bandmate. Their once friend is a fag." tears welled in my eyes. "Once???" "Yes, Harry. ONCE. they wouldn't possibly be friends with you after you told them, would they?!" the tears streamed freely.
He"s right.
"I've heard all the rumors. Or should i really say all the true things they say? Like your self harm. I know it WAS a problem but really is it still, or did you just not hide it well enough? Maybe all the gayness will bleed out of you." I was sobbing now. What am I supposed to say? "I'll fix it i promise." my voice cracked at the end. "NO YOU WON'T. YOU CONTINUE TO MESS IT UP. YOU'VE MESSED IT ALL UP. YOU FUCKING FAG. NEXT TIME TRY TO HIDE IT BETTER!!!" Simon was angry, really angry. I flinched at the screaming. "I-i'm sorry." i managed between sobbes. "No Harry!" he slammed the table, making me look into his eyes. They were dark, really dark. "Sorry won't fix this one. Harry! DAMN IT!!! Don't you see now we have to hide it, get you meds and pretend nothing happened." "b-but S-si i-" he cut me off. "NO, HARRY NO. YOU DON'T GET A FUCKING SAY ANYMORE!!!" i just starred at the ground sobbing. Why why me.
It feels like hell, i feel like hell, this is hell. That must just be where I am.
"Now get the fuck out and don't say anything to ant paps you here me!!" i shook my head "WORDS HARRY!!!" "Y-yes si-sir." As i was walking out I heard him mutter purposely loud enough that I could hear. "Should've killed yourself already."
Damn that hurt.
I was half stumbling to my car, half running. I need out of it. Out of it all. Turning the car on and buckling up I was still sobbing. Things are blurry. I shouldn't be driving but I need home. I need home now.
Somehow I made it to the flat. I'm still sobbing. It won't stop. I'm not sure it ever will. Walking to the door I noticed Lou was here, and El's car was in the driveway. I can't stay here, I've got to go somewhere else. I got in the car driving to the nearest hotel. Once there I booked a room. The tears slowed. I needed an escape, but I didn't have anything. It's been months since I last did so I was so proud. And yes was I knew it was going to happen now nothing was going to stop it. I was not sitting in a hotel room alone sobbing and it only stopped when I started to cut. It made me numb once again.
How'd I get here....
And where's the alcohol?
YOU ARE READING
Not even him
Fanfiction.....there wasn't anything we could do. I could do. What was done was done, there wasn't anything to change that. Not even him. Not even he could save me. It's not like anyone cared right. Not. Even. Him. TW- self harm, depression, drinking, langua...
