Not even him

CHAPTER 17

We all stop timidly. Silence. We all look at Paul in silence. Rage. Pure rage makes you shake. Yet the tears still stream down our faces. Liam scoffs mouth open. The feeling is hard to describe. He's not given up, he knows the inevitable but doesn't want it to be true. The phone rings again. They stay still. Paul reaches for it, Zayn goes to oblige but stops. The inevitable. It's going to happen, you can't avoid it. You can't avoid it. It's going to happen. But why does it have to? Why? Yet you can't stop it. You can't change it. Why does it need to happen? Why can't you just pretend? Pretend. Pretend it's all ok. It's not. It won't be for a while. But why? The everlasting question. Why? You'll ponder on the single world for long. You could ponder a lifetime. And we will retire the same question in a loop. Why? I've come to think there is no true answer as to why. You'll think you're there but you'll ask again. Why?

"Hello."

Everyone's head snaps up. He answered. Why? Paul puts what we're assuming is Simon on speaker. "Alright your on." "Boys, I've heard we have some issues to resolve." Louis is furious. "Oh I'm sorry, issues? That's a fucking joke right. No this isn't just some small issue like Niall getting too drunk or someone missing a line or some stupid rumor. This is fucking Harry. Our Harry. Your joking. YOUR JOKING!!!" Liam becomes furious maybe even more than Louis. All the emotions of the past week come through. "Louis, I understand your upset. Don't worry we have a cover up. We'll say you went out partied to hard someone fell end of-" "No. I CANT BELIEVE YOU.  No we won't come up with your stupid ass cover story. You deserve to rot in fucking hell. That's what you told Harry right? RIGHT?!?!" Silence. "Aww. Dose the bitch have nothing to say. You sure had a lot to say to Harry. Oh yes he told me. FUCK YOU!!! He's a child. A CHILD! What the hell is wrong with you. YOU FUCKING BASTARD!!! HE WANTED TO DIE!!! HE WOULD HAVE FUCKING DIE!!! ON YOUR HANDS! AND HERE THE FUCK WE ARE! HE WANTED AN ESCAPE, AN ESCAPE FROM YOU!!! IT COMES BACK TO YOU!!! TOU DID THIS YOU-"  Zayn puts his arms around Liam pulling him back. Liam struggles in his grasp. So much so that Paul comes from across the room. Liam breaks. Shock. They're all shocked. " YOU DID THIS!!! NO! NO! YOU DID- you did this. It- it's your fault." "Fuck you Simon rot in hell." And the line goes dead. Niall. Niall hung up on Simon. Liam is being held by Paul. Liam puts up a tough fight.

Paul held him as if he were to fall apart when he let go. Liam continues to scream till they quiet into sobs. Zayn stays by his side trying his best to soothe him. "Liam, you're scaring us. Tell us what's wrong." Niall says cautiously. Liam continues to thrash around. All he wants is to find Simon and find the guy who did this to Harry and god. He needs to help Harry. "I have you. I got you. Breathe Liam I'm right here. I'm sorry. I am so sorry. Talk to me please." Paul whispers in his ear.

Harry lies in a gloomy hospital bed alone. Silence. Silence is so loud. The constant beep of the heart monitor. The people walking by. He's shocked when someone enters the room. Yet still, silence. They set things down and get gloves on. Who is this? "Hi, I'm nurse Herin. I'm going to do your exam and kit. Um, just lay on your back and I'll begin if at any time you need me to stop, I will don't be afraid to speak up. Are you ready?" I nod my head. Silence. "Um, I. Yeah I-I guess." "Ok it's ok darling if you need anything at all don't hesitate. Ok let's begin I'm just gonna do some swabs." Silence

"NO!!! NO I CAN'T HARRY HE HE PAUL GOD!!" Liam collapsed in Paul's arms. They all stood there shocked. Silence. "Breath Liam take a breather." " I- I ha- Harry I found him in a in a Ho-hotel room he um he answered my call I-" "It's ok give yourself a second." "He he um trashed the place and he just broke down in- in m-my arms I was so scared he-he said stuff a lot off stuff. Said if I hadn't showed up when I did he would probably be dead a-and oh god Paul!!!" Liam went limp in Paul's arms, his hold still strong. Tears streamed silently. "He Paul he's hurting he. OH GOD HES HURTING!!! He- he hurts himself."

Silence. Rage. Pain. Hurt. Love. Disbelief. Why? And there it is again. Why? Cause Simon? Cause his mom? Cause they weren't good enough? Cause why? Why? Silence. Loud silence. Scary silence. Rage. Rage in the fact they weren't there. Rage for who did this. Rage for what Simon did to him. Pain. Pain cause their friend is in it. Pain cause they can't help. Hurt. Hurt for Harry. Hurt for Liam. Love. They love Harry. Live cause Louis feels it Zayn feels it. Disbelief. Disbelief cause how could someone as perfect as Harry as beautiful as Harry do something to dark. Why? It's a full circle always left wondering why?

In the end there's never an answer as to, why?