I grab the present and my coat and run downstairs. I stare at my mum for a few seconds before wrapping my arms around her. This will be the last time I see her.
"I love you mum. Thank you, for everything. I'm going to Avi's, see you later!" I turn abruptly and walk outside, hoping she doesn't see me wipe away a single tear. I won't see her later. I won't see anyone.
I am determined.
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My fingers knock gingerly at the door. This is the first time I've been to this house since...that night. Nothing has changed. There are still pictures of Avi and him in the hallway, the front door still painted the same hideous shade of green. The front door opens and that's when I see him. But it's not him, it's Avi. A lump forms in my throat and I find myself struggling to find my words.
"What do you want?" He spits at me and a single tear rolls down my cheek. I hand him his present and turn to walk away, but I hear Kirstie squeal.
"Mitch, you came!" she yells and I have no choice but to turn round and put on the best smile I could muster.
"Why did you invite him, Kirst?" Avi asks quietly, but I still hear him.
"Open your present," is how she responds, and she winks at me. I smile for real this time, but it's gone as soon as it appears. After a couple of seconds, he opens it. When all the paper is off, he stares at it for a while, then up at me.
"Oh, Mitch. How much did this cost?" I shrug slightly, eyes aching from stopping myself breaking down and crying right here.
"I just wanted you to know that I listen to you and...I care about you," I mumble, staring down at my feet.
"But this - this was so much money! I looked at them on amazon a while ago. How did you pay for this?"
"My savings."
"You spent your savings...on me? But why?"
"You hate me Avi. You think I'm this cruel, heartless guy who killed your brother. That may be so, Avi. But you wouldn't listen to my side of the story. I just wanted to prove that I care. That you're still one of my best friends, even if I'm not one of yours. Can you let me in so I can talk to K and Scott, then I'll be out of your way." He stares at me, dumbfounded, and moves out of the way so I can get in. Kirstie left just before he opened the present but she's not hard to find in a kitchen of boys, and neither is Scott considering he's so tall.
"Scott? Kirstie? Can I talk to you, please?" They nod and follow me past his room and to Avi's. I feel my throat closes slightly when we pass his room and I try to stop myself from crying right there. The person who grew up in that room is dead because of me.
I am determined.
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"It's okay, Mitch. Honestly, I shouldn't have tried to force you to come out, it was my fault really," Scott sighed and I grabbed one of his hands.
"No, I overreacted when you were trying to talk to me, trying to help me, that was selfish. I'm sorry." We hug and for a second I feel better. I smile at Scott and it doesn't feel forced. I think it surprised us both because we just look at each other for a second. There's just something about Scott, he makes me want to get better. He makes me smile, and he makes me want to do anything to make him happy. Maybe it's because he's been my best friend since before we could talk. But I still have to go. He'll be happy without me.
I am determined.
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"Bye Kit, bye stringbean! I love you guys, okay? Remember that. You guys are my favourite people in the world, okay? Be happy, you guys. Life is too short for sadness!" I hug my friends tightly and a single tear escapes from my eye. I'm never going to see my friends again.
When I pull away from the hug, they look at each other, both puzzled, before smiling at me.
"Of course, Mitchie. We're just glad you came here today! And Avi is too, despite what he said. We love you!" I smile, before turning and leaving Avi's house. On my way out, a picture catches my eye. It's Avi's mum and him. They look so happy. She has so much love in her eyes for this boy who was taken away from her. Because of me. My selfishness killed an innocent boy when it should have been me. But the guilt isn't there any more. All the tears have been cried out. There's only one feeling inside me now.
Determination.
I am determined.
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Not sure about the last paragraph, or any of them for that matter, but I hope this was okay!!
Follow me on twitter: @bitchgrassi
Stay cool
Georgie.
YOU ARE READING
If Only...(Scömìche)
Romance"If only I'd waited..." Mitch Grassi is in High School, surviving only with the help of his best friends, Kirstie and Scott. But when Mitch unwittingly gets into an abusive relationship with his schoolboy crush and tragedy strikes, will Mitch's guil...
