lover of mine || l.h.

7

"You just want things to be less awkward until we finish our project. Then the second we turn it in you'll go back to how you were before." He said with a bit of anger in his voice.

  It had been silent for a while. Mostly because I don't think either of us really new what to say.

"That's not true. I care about you, why don't you believe me?" I asked and took a few more steps closer to him.

"Because no one cares about me." He said and stopped walking.

"I do though. I promise you I do." I said softly and walked even closer to him and looked him in the eyes.

"Why?" He asked and stared me in the eyes.

"You're interesting. I can't explain it but you just are." I said truthfully.

"I want you to trust me and to be comfortable with me. Not because I want to betray you or just leave you in the dirt, but because I really really want to be your friend." I said and looked up in his eyes. He seemed surprised by what I said. It seemed like no one has really put in the effort to care about him, and that made me really sad.

"I pretty much live alone." He said with a sigh after a few minutes of silence and sat on the edge of his bed.

"Why?" I asked and sat down next to him.

"My mum is always working. She doesn't really bother to come home so I'm always here by myself." He said and stared at the floor.

"What about your brothers? Or your dad?" I asked gently and looked at his face even though he was looking at the ground.

"They're all gone." He whispered and let out a sigh.

"Can you tell me why?" I asked gently.

"My dad was terrible to us, all of us. He drank a lot, hit us whenever he got the chance too. He was just overall a shitty dad, shitty person really. My mum worked as much as she could just to get away from him, and she'd just leave us with him. One day we were in the car and he was drunk. My older brother Ben was in the front seat and me and Jack were in the back. We got into an accident because of him drinking so much. Him and Jack died in the accident. Ben left the second he was on his feet just to start over I guess. I never cared about my dad dying, I've just always been angry that he killed my brother and basically sent my other one off. I think my mum just works so much to distract herself from everything." He said softly and stepped on his shoes as he spoke.

  My heart shattered for him. I wanted nothing more than to just hug him. So after thinking about whether or not I should I eventually did. He didn't deserve this. And to make it worse he was getting picked on at school.

"Luke I'm so sorry." I said and hugged around his shoulders tightly. He flinched a bit as I hugged him. Probably because he hasn't really been touched by another person in so long, and when he was getting touched he was getting hurt.

"It doesn't matter." He mumbled and slowly hugged me back.

"It does matter. Something terrible happened to you, you're allowed to feel it." I said and pulled away from him.

"I have felt it. I feel it every day." He said and looked down at his feet.

"I'm so sorry." I whispered and took his hand and held it with both of mine. I didn't really know what else to say. I haven't been through anything like that before so I have no idea how to make him feel any better.

"Thank you for telling me. I know it must've been hard to talk about it. I'm sorry that I pushed you, I just want you to trust me and I want to know you." I said and looked at him which got him to look at me too.

"It's okay. It uh... it actually feels better now that I've told someone." He said which made me smile a bit.

"That's good. I'll keep your secret safe I promise." I said and squeezed his hand and smiled at him which made him smile back at me. This was the first real smile he's ever given me. It made my heart warm and butterflies swarm my stomach. His smile was so beautiful and I wished I had seen it before.

  He never smiled, unless it was a fake one. I didn't exactly blame him for not being super happy. He's been through a lot. And going through the things he's gone through and continues to go through is hard and painful.