Starstruck by Blood [DBD the Trickster x reader]

Trial 4

[Quick reminder none of the fan-art is mine! If you know whom the original creator is please inform me so I can give them full credit! Thank you!]

Truth be told you were getting frustrated, with a lot of things. Mostly with your growing obsession and the fact you had barely had a trial against the object of your obsession for some time now. You estimated about about a week had passed and you had gone through about 12 different trials since then. The fact there was time between them was astonishing but you had just assumed it was to rotate everyone through the trials and also give them recouping time. The healthier their mental state was going into a trial the more terrifying it would be. Otherwise there was the shock and trauma numbing your minds.

Your mind was more wired than ever. Not a single trial since he had killed you and now you had gone so far as to cut two little holes into the back of your tent so you could stare out into the forest and attempt to catch even a glimpse of that striking yellow coat. Of course you didn't look all the time, just whenever you heard one of the killers out there or heard that laughter.

Not once did you catch a glimpse of him either.

It was unsettling the amount of time he occupied your mind, the images and thoughts getting more explicit by the day. Almost so bad you had even gotten quite worked up just thinking about him.

"What is wrong with you [name]!?" Smacking your cheeks a few times you settled back down on your bedroll. "He's a killer! He's already killed you once and-"

And you had liked it.

That realization alone shook you to your core. Had you finally lost your sanity? Did you actually enjoy death? The pain and torture? The fear? No you didn't think so. It was more than likely that you enjoyed HIM. The expressions and sounds he made, the way he harmed another and the pure joy he got from it all.

You decided that was the part of you that was broken. You had always been curious about the killers and what drove them. You had wanted to be sympathetic and understanding. And yet the one you couldn't even hate- not even a little bit- was the one who got the most joy out of this? Who killed for fun. Granted you didn't think he could be any worse than The Nightmare whom had done more than just kill children. At least you didn't think so-

With a surge of desperation you climbed out of your tent and went looking for someone who could help see reason. You needed to hate The Trickster, for your own sanity and humanity. This growing lust and obsession was unhealthy and twisted. The thought of you being twisted didn't sit well with your stomach at all.

Finally you found her, Yun-Jin, sitting by the fire shivering as if she couldn't get warm enough; a feeling you knew quite well. She was the one who despised the Trickster the most so perhaps she could give you the insight you needed to despise him and be rid of this obsession. "Hey Yun-Jin? Can I sit next to you?" 

She looked up with a bit of a scowl on her face. "Why bother asking? Sit."

Shrugging you sat down on the log and glanced at the ever bright fire. "I don't want to scare you. It takes awhile to cope and come to terms to life here."

Yun-Jin visibly paled at your words, her head turning to stare in shock. "You get used to this?" Panic was evident in her tone and you understood just fine. How it felt. You had been in her position before but also not. You never knew a killer before this. That much you were certain of. At your nod she seemed to sink further into despair. "My God-"

"I know it's quite scary but don't give up hope. Losing hope is the only true death here. And it's not even death. You just cease to exist. A place called the void." You had read all of Benedict's journals, a man who had supposedly been doing trials for decades, and he had mentioned just one that had escaped the Void. But you didn't know if Benedict had ever met Vigo- you certainly never met either of them. "We get discarded there once we are but an empty shell, no soul or emotions left."

"That sounds horrifying."

Nodding you had to agree. "It does. I had come here with two other people you know, they both disappeared after awhile. I can't remember their names or faces or anything, just that I had come with two other people and that we had been close. I had just woken up one day and they were gone. I couldn't remember anything about them and it was mostly like they had never existed. But we all feel that there had been two others." It was the fear of being forgotten that had kept some of the others alive as well. The need to survive or 'win' at this game. The hope that one day they would return home. These were all things that motivated the others.
Your own motivation had become to understand this place. You thought if you understood everything about it, from the killers to the fire to the entity, then you could find a way to escape. To what, you didn't know, but you thought you could at least warn people of it's existence. Find a way to stop it on the outside. Not for you, it was too late for you, but for others. It was something you debated with the others over and they had good points too.

An entity like this would no doubt be worshipped if it's existence could be proven- simply because it could create realms like this and even stop death. It could, in a way, grant immortality.

Maybe that was your true goal? To find a way to be immortal. At least, before all this. Before the Trickster.

"Is she bothering you Yun-Jin?" Yui made her way over with a teasing smirk. "Don't mind little Mouse, she is quite the thinker. Like a philosopher or something along those lines."

You shrugged. "Whatever keeps me sane."

"Fair point. You are far more observant than the rest of us. Did you come to pick Yun-Jin's brain about the new killer." Yui stood just out of reach to give Yun-Jin space but you also knew that meant she didn't plan to be a part of the conversation for long.

"What more do you want to know?" Yun-Jin turned her pretty little head and cocked it curiously, but you could see annoyance in those eyes of hers. She was a fierce one, most definitely.

"Everything if you don't mind." You tried to ease her tension with a friendly smile. You didn't have much charisma, in fact half the time you knew you came off as awkward and an odd ball with your theories and comments. But you liked to think you weren't very threatening. Especially with a nickname like 'Mouse'.

"Will it make a difference knowing about that bastard?" Slowly she seemed to relax, turning her attention back to the fire.

"Everyone has something that keeps them sane. Mine is the need to analyze every little thing I can about this place, killers included. You are the first person who has such intimate knowledge of a killer. Cheryl comes second. There are two here that she had run-ins with before coming here, but they had been no different then as they are here. Still figures of mystery with intent on killing. You knew the Trickster as an actual human being. His habits, personality, routine. Things he disliked and liked. Any one of those things could very well make a difference."

Yui shook her head but smiled over at you. "Miss Mouse here has increased our survival rates against more than one killer by studying their patterns and more. I know you want to see an end to the Trickster Yun-Jin... Mouse here might be able to help you with that."

Yun-Jin turned her attention to you then with a new found hope and determination glistening in her eyes. "Really? Can you help me take that fucking bastard down? Even here?"

You were racked with guilt then, knowing your initial intentions for this conversation where far from that. But you smiled and nodded, reaching out and grabbing her hands. "Just tell me everything you know and I'll try?"

If she managed to break this obsession you had over that man then you swore you would really try. You didn't want to lose your humanity. You didn't want to lose your sanity. You wanted to keep things as black and white as possible and you knew there was no valid excuse that man had for enjoying torture.

You didn't want to think of Ji-Woon in any other way than as your enemy- yet it could very well be too late for that.