Fake Park Episode 1: Potholes and Gnomes (South Park)

New Discovery

Cartman leans closer to listen to the Asian girls' conversation, they were squealing excitedly point to their screens, "Oh the plot is so juicy! So he fucks his boss and his wife finds out, then they have a threesome. They then double penetrate her. Oh, the best part is that the maid is a vampire who is also the wife's lesbian lover," the brunet froze like a statue, heat tinted his plump cheeks, "Isn't that just written porn? Why the fuck do you read that shit?" the girl in the middle of the huddle grins, pointing her phone, "Well not all fanfiction is smut, but a good chunk is,".  Fanfiction? That's a term Cartman never heard of before, a sinking feeling overcame him as he left to go back to his classroom. He'll have to google it when he gets home, his interest was piqued. Maybe this fanfiction thing could become his latest scheme to get his friends back.

His mother enters his room hearing the screams of her son, her eyes drift her son reading yaoi fanfiction. She slowly slinked out of the room going unseen by her son, her eyes were wide, "Oh...Kay. Back to the book club," Liane return to her seat as pale as a ghost, Mrs. Broflovski set down her tea to shoot a worried glance at her friend, "What was that screaming?" Liane cupped her cheek heat returning to her cheeks, a forced smile appeared on her lips, "Exploring his sexuality via the internet," Sheila's eyes widen picking up the steamy erotic book from the coffee table, ready to move to a didn't topic, "Okay back to the book," Liane nodded gratefully, Mrs. Tucker tsked, "My little Craig was gay first,". Ignoring the blonde comment Liane flipped to the page they left off, Sheila rolled her eyes, "What did you think both the part where invader bounded Lisa Victim to her bed with zip ties? You know the part when he forces her to wear a diaper and wet herself," Mrs. Tucker huffed, crossing her arms, "So unrealistic," Sheila sipped her tea, Liane scoffed, "I'm telling you the invader is Lisa Victim's neighbor. He totally had a thing for her. By the way, he was groping her at the party when her boyfriend was in the bathroom,". Sheild grin setting her book down, eyeing the girls, "Did I ever tell you that my Gerald has a pee fetish?" the girl jaw went slack, they leaned closer as Mrs. Broflovsk, "No way! You dirty girl you didn't," Sheild nodded, sipping her tea, "I caught him watching porn. So, I made his fantasy a reality," Mrs. Tweak blushed, "Who pissed on who?" she grinned at the attention, "I pissed on him and he loved it,". The married woman glared in jealousy, Mrs. Tucker raise a brow, "Did it spice up your sex life?" Sheila nodded, a grin growing, "We do it so often now. You wouldn't believe it. Trust me, girls men love getting pissed on,".   

Cartman immediately clicked out of the tab, before hiding under his covers, "What the fuck?! What the fuck?! They do what with that. Yuck!" he lifted the blanket up after a few minutes soaking in his regrets, he blushed still coloring his face, "Uhh... That wasn't what I expected," he sat on his bed his feet dangling over the edge, he shook his head, "I-I mean I could work around the smut. Yeah, I could get my friends. An-and I'll make them ever regret ever leaving me alone," a twisted smile curled at his lips, the ways he could torture kyle with words. He stood up and went to his window, his hand smudge on the window as he pressed against it. His blue eyes stare at the ginger racing Kenny on a scooter, his grin widen, "You'll regret it you stupid jew. You don't know how far I'll go to make you regret abandoning me,".

Kyle cursed as his scooter was caught in a pothole, he collapsed to the pavement and Kenny won the race, "Fuck," Stand came running up beside Butters, he helped the boy up, "Shit you okay," Kyle grumbled, "As fine as one can get after face planting," his wiped his sting chin with his green mitten, finding scarlet staining his the fabric, "Oh golly! Your bleeding. I'm so going to be grounded!" Kyle huffed at Butters, his emerald eyes drifted to the Cartman's house, "Uh... Dudes. Look," the ginger pointed to Cartman's window, where the fat boy stood smiling creepily in his direction. Kenny muffled response didn't calm his nerves, his Cartman sense was tingling. He knew Cartman was up to no good, Stan meets his fearful gaze, "Cartman is up to something," the raven glared, shaking his head, "No let him be. He feeds on a response. If you don't give him one he'll stop eventually," Kyle ground his teeth, his hand balled into fists, "But what if it's murder or world domination?" Stan sighed, guiding the boy the direction of the Marsh residence, "Relax when has his plans ever work," Kyle paused, feeling the Cartman's stare piercing through him, "But he has me to stop him from it not working," Stan nudged him forward, a reassuring smile on his lips, "Relax he is his own worse enemy,". Kyle nodded, but his gut feeling told him otherwise. 

Kyle sat on a kitchen stool an uncomfortable layer of bandaid stuck to his chin, he brought the sugar-free popsicle to his lips, "Sharon it's not a big deal. It's just some scrapes," Sharon glared at her husband, Stan looks sympathetically at Kyle, "Blame China. Blame China," Kyle punched Stan in the side, glaring daggers, "Shut the fuck up my mom won't go protesting China, because I fell off a fucking scooter," the raven blinked at his super best friend, "She's done it for lesser things," Kyle sighed, the icy treat helped his bandaged palms, "Any way wouldn't she blame the mayor," Sharon snapped her fingers, setting her copy of "The Kinky Intruder" on the table beside Kyle, "Your right. We need a town meeting about the potholes because they're unsafe for drivers and nondrivers," Kyle's emerald eyes widen as she dialed his mother, he jumped her his mother's voice on the other line, "What?! What?! What?!". Stan facepalmed.