Lookism Gun x Reader: How The Mighty Fall In Love

I'm Pathetic :'D

(Better very early than very late, am I right?)

I woke up snuggled up to Gun.

He was scrolling through his phone and I frowned.

"What time is it?"

"Um, 5:39. Go back to sleep or we'll start training now instead of in an hour."

I buried my face into his side but then opened my eyes in suspicion.

"Why? You usually want to train as early as possible. What's going on?"

"Nothing, go back to sleep."

I narrowed my eyes at him.

First he says we'll train bright and early and now he tells to go back to sleep?

This is suspicious....

Time to investigate!

I hopped off the bed and ran down the stairs. Gun called after me but I was on a mission to find out what he was hiding from me.

"Oh, YN, what are you doing awake?" Goo asked at the front door.

"W-what are you doing? Why do you have those bags? You aren't leaving, are you?"

Gun hurried down the stairs and Goo glared at him.

"I thought I told you to keep her in the room until I left."

"You're... you're leaving me?!"

"YN, it's not going to be for long, you're coming back in a few days. It's not a big deal."

"Why didn't you tell me ahead of time?!" My eyes prickled with tears as I clung on to him.

I'm perfectly aware that we'll see each other soon enough, but I'm still a little traumatized from him leaving 7 years ago.

"I didn't know till last night. The Chairman wants me back because he has a meeting with Chairman Hong."

"Fuck Charles, stay with me!"

"You know I can't, the Chairman said it's an order."

I glared.

I can't believe he's leaving me for Charles again!

Hmm, he must also want to talk about what happened with his 'friend' being murdered.

"YN, let go."

"No! You said you'd take me to the park to look at the cherry blossom trees today!"

"YN, I'm not in the mood to play around. You're 17, not a toddler."

"Ugh, why do you always have to leave me?! OW!" I let go and held my arm where he had pinched me.

"I said, I'm not in the fucking mood."

I watched in shock as he opened the door and picked up his bags.

I was still sitting on my ass.

Goo's never hurt me before. Why did he do that? He's never done that!

I took it to far this time.

I knew it, he's tired of me. He's leaving again because he's tired of me.

I fucked up again.

I stared down at my socked feet, but I wasn't focused on them.

Guilt filled my body as I sat there.

He's not coming back. He's leaving me again.

Did I expect him to stay? Why would he?

Besides, I'm going to leave him soon enough. Look at my being a hypocrite.

"Crystal and DG are already in the car, we're leaving."

I didn't want to say bye. A part of me told me that if I didn't say bye, he wouldn't leave.

But he did.

He left.

He left me again.

My arm was throbbing where he pinched me.

It hurt.

It hurt but I didn't want the pain to go away.

If the pain doesn't go away, he won't completely leave me.

I'll still have that.

The last thing he gave me.

He left me again.

I'll return to Korea and he won't be there. He's running away from me again.

I'm never going to see him again.

And it's all my fault.

I thought I would have learned my lesson by now.

You can't be clingy, you can't bother him, you can't burden him. You shouldn't even talk to him unless he talks you you first.

"Hahaha! Look at you! You're so pathetic! You almost killed yourself to become stronger to escape and reunite with Goo, AND HE STILL WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU! HAHAHA, WHAT A LOSER!"

Miss Grace is right. What did I think would happen? Now that I think about it, he wasn't even that happy to see me at Aru's rescue.

He was probably hoping they'd kill me, that's why he let them drag me out..

He must have felt obligated to take care of me.

He wanted me to push him away. He never wanted to bond. All those times I forced him to spend time with me...

He hates me.

He never loved me.

How could you love a burden?

"YN?"

A hand was planned on my shoulder and I looked at Gun who was kneeling next to me. "Are you okay?"

I stared at him for a few seconds then smiled.

"Of course I'm okay! Nothing has changed, why would I be upset?"

He examined my face then opened his mouth.

"I'm tired, can I go back to sleep?" I asked with a cheerful smile.

"...Yeah, go ahead."

"Thank you, goodbye!"

I hurried up the stairs and entered my room.

I slid down the door, my smile still on my face and tears dripping down my cheeks.

I'm pathetic.