Back Again

Chapter 61

Answers

With her hand clenched in a fist beside her, she went out and happened to glance at his eyes. It was a familiar act of them, always coincidentally meeting each other gazes.

She noticed the sorrow in his eyes and the uneasiness on his body that he tried hard to playoff but she can see it in a mile. She always understands his action even with no words exchanged between them and now she's glad that she could discern him.

With a five-year gap, a long time has passed and he still is the same in her eyes.

"Why didn't you return?" She straightforwardly asked, she doesn't want to ask him if he's been fine abroad since she could see the fine suit and an expensive watch on his arm.

She sees him gulped, his eyes held the same fire as it was from before and now it even burns brighter. She cast away her gaze and repeated her question.

"Why didn't you return?"

Silence ensued, it was unlike the comfortable silence that they has when they were young, it was suffocating.

"They didn't let me" she can hear the powerlessness in his voice, his eyes dull as he recalls the past five years. "They held me against my will and when I was out of my cage you... you were gone"

He was lost as she is but then she blinks her eyes and looks at him in confusion.

"You... The flood" he mumbled letting her know of how he thought she was gone.

The flood, of course, but why didn't he find her even after the flood? Is she that hard to find that he even gave up looking for her?

Her eyes held blame and he realizes her reaction, he was stumbling in his words but he wanted to explain his side.

After all, he was to blame and after this, maybe they won't meet again and maybe she wouldn't let him see her again.

"No... Juan no, I tried- for years! I tried to look for you but I didn't find you! It was.. I don't know.. maybe it was them.. but I tried Juan, I tried!" His voice trembled and she can hear the desperation in his words leaving a bitter taste on her lips.

Silence ensued once again as they fell into a contemplating mood. She wanted to find answers and she got them but it leaves her feeling melancholic and painful.

Apologies are like medical bandages, they can only stop the wound from hurting more but it won't take the wound off.

Even if I forgive him for things that he has no power over, it still won't let me forget about the hopeless wait, the pain and ridicule I had to suffer, and the impoverished life that I brought my child over.

"I'm sorry"

"It's fine"

It is indeed fine for her now, she got her most awaited answer and knew that it wasn't because he forgets her but several situations have happened that led them to drift further away from each other.

"JuJu"

Her eyes lifted from the floor to his dark hopeful eyes and she sighed. It has come to this, the moment she heard him say her daughter's name she knew that he will be curious about her existence.

"I'll tell her first about our... situation. JuJu is... a very bright child and she's a lovely and active child. I want you to introduce yourself to her after I explained our situation. I don't want to move into action without any thoughts anymore"

"It's fine, I can't wait" his eyes brightened up after hearing about his daughter.

His daughter, not once in his life would he have thought that he'll have a child. A child created by their love but it was also a reckless idea but it didn't stop him from loving the thought that it brought fruit.

What he regrets is that Juan has to suffer the pregnancy without him and to live with the ridicule eyes of people. He would rather take it all than for her to feel it once more.

He watched her squirm under his gaze and his heart broke into pieces once more. The relaxed atmosphere between them was nothing but a fragment of the past.

"Then... I'll go then... uh... Here's my number so you can uh call me" he stumbled on his words, he didn't want to go but he was left with no choice.

The moment the door closed, his tears fell and he beat his self for being selfish, unreliable, and a fool.

He promises that he will make it up for her and also her fighter and this time, he swears that this will happen.

***
Chapter 61 is up!

Argh!!! Todays my thesis defense and I'm here creating a chapter! Argh!!

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