Healing the Star's Darkness (Amidst Solitude #2)

Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Unborn 

I do not regret giving myself to him. Kahit saan ko tingnan, hindi ako nakaramdam ng anumang pagsisisi. If I regret it now, what will happen to us? Why should I regret it? I love the man to whom I gave my virginity. So, why on earth should I regret it? 

"Amelia, nakikinig ka ba sa akin?"

I immediately looked at Leigh. Kunot na kunot ang noo niya ngayon habang nakatingin sa akin. I didn't know that I have been thinking of what happened almost three weeks ago again. 

"I think we need to stop from here. Magri-riview na lang tayo bukas," nakangiting sabi niya.

Sa matinding hiya, mabilis kong kinuha ang notebook na nakapatong sa kama at nagkunwaring nagbabasa. We are inside her room. Nagri-review na kasi kaming dalawa para sa Freshmen Admission Test sa Marcos University. You know, we really want to pass the test and study there. That's one of our friendship goals. 

She sighed. "We can continue again tomorrow. Mukhang pagod ka na rin mag-review ng mga terminologies. Bukas naman, English ang iri-review natin. Tapos Math next time," nakangiting sabi niya.

Tumango na lang ako. Umupo na ako sa gilid ng kama at bumuntong-hininga. Totoo ngang pagod na ako kaka-review para sa Freshmen Admission Test. Pero ayoko rin namang hindi ako makapasa kaya todo review kami, ano. 

Hey, your future teacher, Amelia, is here! She is doing her best to pass the admission test. 

"Feeling ko anytime, malulutang na lang ako dahil sa dami ng iniisip ko," bigla niyang sabi.

Napatawa ako nang mahina. Napailing ako at hinampas ang braso niya. She looked at me immediately and pouted her lips. Her red lips immediately revealed. Kinagat-kagat ko naman ang labi ko para pumula 'yon kahit papaano dahil hindi ako nag-lipstick ngayon.

Nagiging mapula lang ang labi ko kapag  nagli-lipstick ako o di kaya - napalabi ulit ako sa naisip. Naramdaman ko ang pag-init ng dalawang pisngi ko dahil sa naisip. Kung hinahalikan ka ni Ian, ganoon ba, Amelia? When he bites and kiss your lips, ganoon ba? 

Napaubo na lang ako at mabilis na tumingin kay Leigh. I faked a laugh and said, "Kung lutang ka, ano na lang ako - sabog? Konting push na lang, graduation na. Ang hirap talaga maging estudyante pero mas mahirap kung hindi tayo lalaban. You know, Leigh? I always believe that I do not need to receive high grades to finish my studies, kasi aanhin ko naman ang matataas na grades, 'di ba? But you know, habang tumatagal, I learned to value grades."

Especially when I witnessed how dedicated Ian is to his studies. There, I got motivated and put effort into my studies, too. Let's just say that it is a couple goal. Kahit na hindi kami magkaklase, at least, nararamdaman namin ang effort at tulong ng isa sa amin. Grades may not determine our future, but they will identify you as a student. 

"We have the same point of view on grades, Amelia. Magkaibigan nga talaga tayo. You know, since elementary, nasanay na akong laging nakikipag-kompetensia sa mga mag-aaral. Maybe it is because my parents influenced me that much," aniya at malungkot na ngumiti.

I smiled. I know she is thinking of her parents again. I know Leigh. Kahit na hindi niya sabihin sa akin, she has always been worrying about her parents. See the love she has for her family? Kahit na nasa malayo siya, inaalala pa rin niya ang mga magulang niya. 

"Mas matalino at responsable ka nga lang. You are an organized person, too. Ang mga maayos na gamit mo na lang, nagpapakita na nang pagiging organized mo, what more pa sa isipan mo? No wonder, you can still manage your time, ano?"  

Tumayo ako at nagtungo sa lamesa niya. She just remained staring at me though. 

"For Pete's sake, Amelia! Stop that now. Hahaha. You know, I am still thinking about whether to accept Mikaela's favor or nah. Oh my gosh, Amelia. Wala akong isusuot. Wala rin akong make up kit," aniya.