Healing the Star's Darkness (Amidst Solitude #2)

Chapter 30

Chapter 30

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I showed them a painful smile.

"He killed me, Doc. My role in this w-world temporarily stopped the moment he turned his back at me. B-But when my s-son died, m-my character became insignificant. M-My role... p-permanently stopped," seryosong sabi ko.

Napatingin ako sa kawalan. "T-That's why I don't know why I am still living in this world."

I stared at my clean clothes and clean body. Nakakatuwang isipin na maayos na ang panlabas kong anyo, pero ang isipan ko– ganoon pa rin. I am still mentally unstable.

"P-Para akong c-character sa W-Wattpad, 'yong laging naaapi tapos siya... ang villain. P-Pinatay niya ako. H-He was the one who shut down all my will to live," tumatango at dahan-dahan kong sabi.

"A-Amelia," Nurse Reyah called me.

Tumingin ako sa kanya. She looks bothered. Hindi na bago sa akin na makita ang ganoong reaksyon niya sa mga sinasabi ko. 

She slowly walked her way in front of me. She remained staring at me as she squatted. Inayos niya ang palda niya bago kinuha ang kamay ko. Banayad niya iyong hinaplos.

She gave me a true smile. "Your role won't stop from here, Amelia. Soon as you get healed, you will see how beautiful the world is for you. You have a significant value. Hindi lang basta pang-Wattpad character ang buhay mo o ano pa man, you are a person who is loved by God, by the people surrounded by you, and of course. you are a woman who deserves to have freedom from your devilish thoughts. Y-You... you possess something greater than your hallucinations and delusions, Amelia. And that is you... having a big heart. Despite everything, you still keep on surviving," nakangiting sabi niya.

"B-Big heart," mabilis na react ko. Napatawa ako nang mahina. "W-Wala ako n'on, Nurse. K-Kung malaki ang puso ko, b-bakit hindi ko man lang natulungan ang anak ko? W-Why was I so ignorant of his health? W-Why did I lose... him? T-This heart... if only it could fit him, I would be willing to give it to him," nakatulalang sabi ko.

Mabilis kong binawi ang kamay ko sa kanya. I looked at the doctor who was just observing me and my behavior. I gulped to remove the torn in my throat.

Ni kahit ang pagtayo ng nurse sa harapan ay hindi ko na pinagtuonan pa ng pansin. Umupo siya sa kaharap na upuan.

"D-Doc, p-pwede bang umalis na ako rito?"

Kung hindi aalis si Ian, kung patuloy siyang mag-a-appear dito, ako na lang ang aalis. Kahit hindi pa ako tuluyang magaling, aalis ako.

The doctor smiled at me. "Sure. Nurse Reyah, ihatid mo na si Amelia pabalik sa-"

Mabilis akong umiling. "I mean... mismo rito sa hospital, doc. A-Ayoko na rito." 

"Maybe my two months of staying here is enough. A-Ayoko na rito, doc. The dark star is around me," napapikit ako nang mariin. "N-No. I am that dark star," hindi na makalmang sabi ko.

But who am I kidding? I am not still healed.

When they both gasped, I couldn't help but laugh. Napatawa ako nang malakas nang makitang nakatingin lang sila sa akin. I couldn't stand their pitiful expression. I don't want to see someone looking at me like that. 

And just like that, I was triggered again. 

"Bye, doc! Aalis na ako!"

Tumayo na ako para sana umalis nang may mahagip ang mata ko sa ibabaw ng lamesa. Napanguso ako at lumapit doon. Natatawa akong tumingin kay doctor bago nilipat ang tingin sa manikang lalake.