Healing the Star's Darkness (Amidst Solitude #2)

Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Condition 

He tried, but it wasn't helpful enough to save me. 

Alam ko namang ako dapat ang tumulong sa sarili ko. That's why during the past two months, I tried to find solace within my son's heart. Through his comforting touch and movements, I still found comfort somehow.

Believe me, it was the best medicine for my screaming and lost self.

Sa ngayon, nandito ako sa hospital dahil katatapos ko lang magpa-check up. According to Doctor Santos, ituloy ko lang daw ang pagme-meditate ko, magiging maayos din ako.

Ewan ko ba kay Vincent, ayaw niya akong dalhin sa rehabilitation center para tuluyan na akong gumaling. Though I still found it beneficial on my part because I don't have to go away from my son. In that way, I will still remain by his side.

Napangiti ako nang maglakad ako papuntang emergency room. Sandali pa akong napatigil nang tumingin ako roon. When I remembered Leigh, I suddenly imagined her running or walking for her errands with her uniform. I somehow realized that Leigh is indeed a woman deserving to become a nurse.

Imbes tuloy na umalis ay mas ipinagpatuloy ko na ang paglalakad papunta sa emergency room. I have seen many patients around. Kahit na busy ang lahat ay nakita ko pa rin ang alertong paggalaw ng mga nurse.

Ngunit halos mapatigil ako nang may mapansin sa isang pader. My heart skipped a beat when I heard a voice of a familiar man. I slowly turned my body to face it.  Everyone was watching the news being aired on the television now.

"N-No.  Thank you for that. I am doing good," he smiled and chuckled on the screen.

"After how many months, I am happy to say that I am still alive?" patanong na sagot niya. He chuckled as he shook his head.

Napahawak ako nang mahigpit sa botelyang hawak ko. I slowly walked towards the screen. Nang makita ang mukha nito ay halos matuliro na ako. I found myself teary-eyed as I watched him on the tv.

But what caught my attention was his body. Even I've never seen him for a long time, but I still know and remember his well-built body. Now that I am seeing him again through the flat screen tv, I saw how his body changed. Ngunit hindi ko na lang 'yon pinagtuonan pa ng pansin.

I slowly walked in front of the screen and remained staring at it. He was just staring at the camera. This time, I know I am not hallucinating. I am indeed seeing the man that captured my heart a long time ago through the flat screen tv. The man who regretted loving me is on the screen now— smiling as if he didn't hurt anyone at all. It's as if he didn't hurt me.

"Pero hanggang ngayon pa rin ba wala ka pang napupusuan, Mr. Salazar? Naging trending ang huli mong interview noon tungkol sa relationship status mo," the interviewer asked and chuckled from the background.

Nakagat ko nang mariin ang labi ko. Bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko habang hinihintay ang magiging sagot niya.

When his smile was gone and it changed to a domineering and unbearable reaction, I found myself slowly moving backward. Sa reaksyon pa lang niyang iyon, alam kong makakarinig na naman ako ng mga salitang ayokong marinig mula sa kanya. 

"I think we are already done with that topic. Just like what I always say, I don't want to talk about that. I don't effin' care about that thing. I am really focusing on what matters here," he said, seriously. 

Marahas kong pinalis ang tumakas na luha sa mga mata ko. Mas lalong humigpit ang hawak kong botelya. Tangina. Mas masakit pala kapag narinig mo 'yon mismo mula sa kanya kaysa sa nabasa mo lang. I didn't know I would be hurt this bad tonight.