His Confusion

Chapter 16

Zhou ShuYi came in kitchen and stood there dazed. What was he supposed to ask first?

"How did you sleep?" He asked staring intensely at him.

"Better than other days." Shide replied covering his wrists with his sleeves.

"Oh," ShuYi was disappointed. Why couldn't Shide tell him what's going on.

"Are you still taking your medication?" ShuYi asked again trying to create a leeway for a conversation.

"Yeah, why?"

"Just wondering."

The room went quiet.

There were so many secrets between them and their friendship was never going to be the same.  Not when neither of them was ready to confront the situation head on.

Friday evening, ShuYi came back early and tried opening the door again but it was still locked. He tried his own keys on the door but it wouldn't open. He looked around trying to figure out a way. That's when he noticed the cameras.

His hope deflated when he remembered he didn't have access to the cameras.

He was dying of curiousity but there was nothing he could do. He thought of letting it go and he would have let it go if not for the repetition of events again that night.

It was more petrifying than the last time. Shide's cries were heart wrenching. ShuYi was left with no choice but to cry too as he tried to comfort Shide from outside the door.

He begged him.

He pleaded him to open the door but the rattling metal sounds and Shide's cries calling out for him was the response he got. That night he slept outside Shide's door again. It had taken him less than a minute to get him to sleep last night, but today it took him about 20 minutes to comfort him.

Saturday morning, Shide did not come out of his room early. He slept in. Shuyi sat in the lounge waiting. He couldn't bring himself to make breakfast. He just sat there and waited.

It was at noon that Gao Shi De came out with bandaged wrists.

Shuyi frowned.

"Gao Shi De," he called out with a sigh. Shide turned around knowing the question that was coming next.

"What happened to your wrist?"

The loud silence in the room was confirmation of the lies that were about to be spewed.

"I went to the gym."

Shuyi snorted fatigued. He got up and went to his room without any other word. He had to get some sleep.

Later in the day they met in the house and the awkwardness just refused to go away. The lies and secrets were creating more distance between the two males.

"What are you doing tomorrow?"ShuYi had asked before he retired to his room.

"I'm going out?" Shide asked in response.

"Are you asking me?"

"I'm going out." he said with certainty this time.

"Ok."

Shuyi slept late that day trying to find someone who could help him in his next plan. He had everything planned out. He only needed an accomplice.

After finding one, he drifted off to sleep and like the last two days, he woke up to Shide's cries again.

Unlike the last 2 days, it took him longer to comfort him through the door. He could feel Shide's frustration and anguish. The cries were more desperate; the rattling louder than the last 2 times.

In return, Shuyi's knocking was louder and more aggressive than the last. ShuYi was suffering more than he thought. The distress, the worries, the curiosity was eating him alive. Just what was happening in there? He was certain that Shide was sleep walking again but what was he doing to himself?

Sunday morning was the same. Shide slept in and so did Shuyi. Around noon, Shide left the house for some errands and Shuyi's guest arrived just after Shide's departure. Shuyi made sure to cover all the cameras first.

He had invited a locksmith over. He led him to the locked door and the man did what he knew best. He opened the door first and let shuyi in. As ShuYi was doing what he was doing, he copied the lock to create another key.

ShuYi was not expecting what he encountered in Shide's bedroom.

Shide had made adjustments to his bed. It was not a chair that he bought that day. It was additions to his bed. The bed now had rails on both sides. He felt his stomach churn when he saw 2 handcuffs, one on each side of the bed.

He held his mouth feeling saliva fill in his mouth. He ran to the bathrooom and threw up.

Why was Shide doing this to himself?

Why would he cuff himself to sleep?

If the medication stopped working he should've gone back to the hospital.

Why was he doing this to himself?

Shuyi sobbed feeling lost. How was he going to bring it up?

They never confronted each other about things. They waited until the other is comfortable enough to share their problems. That's how it has always been. How was he going to deal with this situation? He flushed the toilet and cleaned his mouth. He freshened the room and went  out again. He looked around some more and saw a box of bandages on the night stand. He touched the cuffs and shook them and he heard the familiar rattling sound.

He sat on the foot of the bed slouched. He was having a headache now. He sat there for God knows how long. He would've kept on sitting but the locksmith walked in from just outside the door.

"Here you go." He said handing over a new key.

Shuyi took the new key and tried it on the door that was already fixed. He locked it and opened it again and it worked just fine. He paid the locksmith for his services and the man left.

He erased the evidence of being in the room and unblocked the cameras.

When Shide came came back, he went straight to his room. He was still not ready to face shuyi. He had a lot of things to hide and he was ashamed of it.

He was dreading going back to the hospital. The treatment from last time had been draining. It left him feeling naked. He felt vulnerable. The drugs were too strong for him. He would lay there awake but couldn't do anything. It was a feeling he didn't like. That's why he had opted to do this. To control himself this way. His priority was to protect Shuyi.

Just after midnight, sleepwalking Shide was tugging at the cuff on his wrist. He wanted out. He wanted to go to shuyi. He wanted to go and see him but he couldn't. He tugged harder and the cuff only managed to hurt his bandaged wrist but he didn't care. He wanted to go and see him. He felt suffocated in the room. He wanted shuyi so he called out his name.

"Shuyi!"

He struggled against the cuff to no avail and that made him frustrated so he kept on tugging. He kept on fighting.

About five minutes later, shuyi unlocked the door and came in the room.

"ShuYi," Shide cried at the sight of Shuyi, relieved. ShuYi was there right infront of him and all he could do was wept.

ShuYi wiped the tears on his face as he sat on the bed,

"ShuYi is here, you want to tell me what's wrong?"

"I want to touch you."

ShuYi held his other hand. "There. Is this ok?"

Shide nodded. He looked at ShuYi with satisfaction. ShuYi sat there and Shide just stared at him until he drifted off to sleep.

After a while, ShuYi tucked Shide and left the room. He locked the door and retired to his bedroom.