Dear diary,
Life isn't like the Disney fairy tales, with the lost slipper and hell of a cute prince charming. Life is bittersweet, cruel and hurtful. Well more like sleeping beauty and maleficent but even she got her happily ever after. Well my poin...
"That is the thing I do not have it, I kind of lost it, but it wasnt my fault that I lost it."
Her face fell, then she lightened up again "I will make her the best bracelet she has ever seen, can we do it now please ?" she clapped her hands before her.
"Fine how about we go shopping and get some beads enough for a bracelet for you and one for her then when we come back, we go straight for homework."
An hour later and I had a happy Isabelle holding onto the bags that contained her beads, the joy of being a child I didn't have to tell her twice, she ran straight for her books before going on the mission of making a bracelet for her dear friend and herself. She even insisted that she make one for me, but they weren't enough to go round so I promised to buy her another bag of beads so she could make me a bracelet to.
"Can you tell me a story?" she said as she snuggled in bed. "I am not good with stories Isabelle."
"Can you make one up?" I kissed her forehead and sat on the bed, I brought out the teddy from behind my back that I had come with.
"His name is Mr rabbit, and he likes to play,
He doesnt have many friends, why he is shy,
He eats many vegetables, carrots in particular.
He hops and jumps, the grass is his favourite.
He lives in the ground, not on the tress,
The birds and insects do not treat him nice.
But he is soft and flurry everyone loves him,
Play with me? He would always ask .
But the big bad animals would always chase him.
Making him cry, sad and all alone,
And now that he is here, on your bed
He is asking you,
Isabelle please be my friend?"
And I held out the rabbit to her, she looked at him with sleepy eyes and said yes "Mr rabbit I will be your friend" she yawned and with tired eyes asked "I wish I had a mummy, everyone has a mummy and I do not, can you be my mummy miss Aiden? I would love it if your my mummy."
Clearly she didnt know what she was saying, because if she did she wouldnt be asking such I looked at the door way, the hall was empty then I turned my head back to her "I wish Isabelle, sleep like a princes that you are."
I was about to walk out when she said "will you miss Aiden?" I was torn between answering her truthfully and giving her a lie, it seems that I didn't even have to, she had Mr rabbit between her hands and was sleeping peacefully.
I went to bed that night deep in thought, it was funny how the exact same words I said to Isabelle and the way I handed her the rabbit was the exact same thing my dad did to me when I was four. She needed a mother, not just any she wanted me as her mother. Would I be able to take care of her and provide for her every needs ? Would I be able to love her as my own? She had already accepted me as hers. And most importantly would he want me as her mother ? Does he even want me, my feelings for him kept on growing everyday no matter how many times he pushed me away.
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I woke up to the aroma of pancakes and tea filling the room, someone was in the kitchen making breakfast, I got myself ready and went down, Mr Brayden was in the kitchen obviously trying to make something to eat, I couldn't help but admire his back and his muscles, he had a blue shirt on that showcased his body and some jeans, he was bare feet well I didn't mind it was his home, I walked over to the wall filled with paintings and I stopped just before the biggest one of all, Mr Brayden and Isabelle, both happy and smiling I tried to picture myself there, the thought was beautiful but I didnt want to put false lies in my heart.
"We went to the beach the day that was taken," I didnt need to turn I knew who had spoken "but its a painting, not a photograph" he shrugged.
"Yes it was a photograph that I loved so much and decided to paint it, it came out just as beautiful as the photo." I turned to face him, his hair was a mess. I had every urge to ran my hands through it, I folded my hands on my chest then I realised I wasn't wearing a bra. "You paint, ?" he removed my hands from my chest and pulled me in for a hug.
"Yeah I do, but it is not all the time, I love painting and drawing it's one of my favourite hobbies." I rapped my hands around him to. "I can see where Isabelle gets her inspiration from," he didn't say anything and neither did he let me go we stood there for some time I didn't mind actually.
"I am not the best father to her, I have my flaws I am not perfect." I looked up at him, he was looking down I smiled for some reason, this felt good being in his arms.
