Secrets and Lies

Chapter Thirty Nine

Natalie and Asher were the talk of the house, my mom had already complied a list of baby names, for both genders she had already started shopping for baby clothes and toys, my dad on the other hand, well he was as excited as my mom.

"Ash, I am so happy for you, I can't wait to have little you and her running around my lawn and disturbing my flowers and eating my fruits in the garden, it has been so long since I last saw a child of my own that I had to look down on not look up at." So yeah both were really excited. Mrs Henderson and my mom had already shared the responsibilities of helping with the child caring.

But that didn't mean that everyone forgot about the rest of us, nope both my parents kept on sending me worried glances, judging from their faces it seems Richy must have told them what had happened. He didn't judge me he only gave me comforting and encouraging words.

"If the feelings don't go by tomorrow, we will drive to the old mens town house and vandalise public property just like how we used to."

"Okay Amber lets make a deal, I want you to force those feelings away and then I will buy you a whole factory of ice cream."

"Remember how we used to sneak into Mrs Kims house and scare the hell out her kittens lets do that now, I am sure you will forget all about him."

But no matter how hard he tried it still didn't make any difference, i felt the same, even he was in pain, his breakup with Lynn was still fresh in his heart, it was an open wound. At times I would catch him drifting off to space with her picture on his phone. The heartbreak had really affected him but it didn't with Lynn. She had already hooked up with some bad boy with tattoos all over his body.

Whenever I would see him like that, I would sit with him in perfect silence not talking not doing anything but just there in each others presence and we would keep each other company. My two older brothers Austin and Adam were pretty much doing better than Richy and i. We weren't expecting wedding bells for them any time soon, but we were expecting a white coat from Austin, making it three doctors, my dad, Austin and me well future me that is, and an engineer that was Adam, Asher had gone into business school just like my mom.

My thoughts drifted back to him, to her, what would they be doing now, would they miss me? Has Isabelle already forgotten about me? Isabelle, she would have loved it here, the compound was big enough for her to play and with the wild rabbits and birds that always came visiting my dads garden, she would have loved to get a pet rabbit or a rat since she spoke of them so often.

What about him, he hadn't tried contacting me or reaching me, I am sure he had a lot on his plate because of this deranged ex fiancée.

"Whoever he is, really hurt you so badly." It was Asher, he was more fun to be with than my other two siblings and besides we looked so alike, my parents would even call us twins, but me a shorter version of him, I was really short.

He pulled me into his arms. "Its okay Amber, if he loves you and if it's meant to work out between the both of you then he will come for you." he looked at Natalie.

I couldn't help but smile.

"He wouldn't he ah Ash, it's complicated." I leaned further unto him I didn't care that I was a grown ass woman, I was crying on my brothers shoulder not a strangers.  "All men, even women are complicated Amber, but if you truly love the person then you would say, stay to understand the person, stay to love the person, stay not because you are forced to stay but because your heart wants to."

"And what if I stayed and gave him all I had, all I was, but then he used me and let me go, he used me and let me go Ash."

"No Amber, you let yourself go, according to the story, Richard told us, he has had a really hurtful past, losing the woman he loves, having a kid and losing his parents, that is a lot for one man to carry alone, he has shut himself away, away from the world but you were able to bring him a smile, he might not admit it but you helped him Amber and most of all you helped his child a lot."

"Maybe he needs time to realise what he has lost, to know your importance and worth in his life and his child's life, you even gave her mr rabbit the grumpy old rabbit the one you so dearly loved, that is something, really, you never even let Richard next to him, and I know you Amber, you want to be just more than a friend to her, your heart desires to be her mother, and to be his wife." I rapped my arms around his neck.

"Asher I love him, I really do love him, I wish I had told him that I do love him, but I was torn between being hurt and being broken."

"shh Amber give him some time okay." that day I slept in his arms, I felt safe there with him,

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