Forever Alice

Chapter 11

"Garrett did you participate in the First Battle of Galveston?" I asked as I watched the flames. Yellow and orange snakes hissing red tongues. I had sort of put him on the spot and I felt bad but that was the battle Jasper had been "killed" in.

"Uh, no, but O do know who the youngest major is," Garrett stared awkwardly at the ground.

"Yeah, I do too," my voice had no life, had no heart, had no soul or purpose behind it. I hung my head between my knees and placed my hands on either side of my face. I tried to hold in my sob and it sounded like I was choking on something, and I was. I was choking on my sobs.

"Are you really okay?" Esme asked looking over at me. Carlisle soothingky rubbed her knee. She had her mate, her reason for living thwy would be together when they died, I? I would be alone. I know why I did what i did but Jesus didn't just die on the cross and be like okay, He sacrificed Himself but He felt the world's sins and He was mad at God, at Himself. I was sacrificing myself for Jasper but I was still mad that I would die alone, I was mad at myself even though I knew this was the right thing.

"I don't know, can you be okay WHEN YOU KNOW TODAY IS YOUR LAST DAY AND YOU'RE GOING TO DIE ALONE? CAN YOU BE OKAY WHEN YOU KNOW YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING BUT ALL YOU WANT IS ONE MORE NIGHT! ONE LAST TOUCH! ONE LAST KISS WITH YOUR REASON FOR LIVING?!?!?!" I lowered my voice. "When you know everything that was yours, that was private, every kiss, every touch, every moment will be Aro's? Is that okay? Is that anything other than insanity? I see the irony in God's work though, really. I died an insane human and I'll die an insane vampire too. I guess I have always been insane but he never cared, Jazz loved me for that. " i ended up mumbling to myself and everyone stared at me. Suddenly my sight was gone and I thought it was a vision butthen I saw him, Jasper i stood up from my log and started running towards him. "Jasper!"

"Alice stop!" Zafrina yelled and suddenly I understood. Jasper wasn't there, she had been trying to help...but she had only made it worse. I had almost had him and now he was gone, again. "I'm sorry, I thought it might help." I nodded and found my seat.

I sat down and asked, "Give me my sight back." Blackness and then reality. "Thank you."

Drake spoke next, "Alice, baby, don't worry we are going to end the Volturi."

I contained my anger and just strode away from the group all together. Then the person I was least expecting to accompany me did. I glanced over and saw Sam Uley approaching. I recognized the familiar black wolf. He laid his head in my lap and I stroked his fur. "Hey, Sam," there was silence and I added. "You can respond I will be able to see your answer." He rustled his big head and i searched his future.

"I understand what you're going tjrougn, every time we fight I have to leave Emily and every time I desperatetly want to bring her with me but I know I have to leave her to keep her safe."Sam would say.

"Yeah, you're right Sam,you are probably the only person, or wolf, here who understands how hard this is for me. Thank you for being here." I thanked him.

"It's my job to be here but you're welcome and Alice," he would say.

"Yes?" I asked running my hands down his back over his giant shoulsder blades.

"You aren't dying tomorrow. I have seen the way Jasper looks at you, it's the way I look at Emily. I don't want anyone to suffer that way," he would say.

"What do you mean?" I asked him.

"I mean I have your back," Sam would say. His black wolf head lifted up and his eyes locked on mine. "Until the end."

"Thank you, so much, Sam,"I told him hugging his shaggy head. "I have your back, but I am not sure how long I'll have it." He nodded his head and returned to resting it on my lap. That was when Seth came over he seemed to be smiling. "Hey, Seth." I waved.

"Hey Allie!" Seth managed a wink and rustled his gray blonde fur.

"You know I hate when you call me that," I smiled. Seth could always make you smile. He didn't need a special gift or anything, it was simply his personality. Him.

"Exactly, so I see you are a pack traitor? Where does your loyalty stand Al?" Serh was only teasing but I took his words to heart when I responded.

"With Jasper," and he was quiet. "Seth, Leah wants you, you should go." He nodded and gave a slight howl before jogging back over to the protective circle. I decided to reflect on the time I had had with Jasper again and that was when it occured to me. "Sam, could you think about the way Jasper looks at me, please?" Sam nodded his head and I searched his future. His recollections were cloudy and hazy for me to read, he might be a shapeshifter but his memories were still human. He had never evwn reallt seen wnat everything around him looked like. I gazed at Jasper and myself through Sam's eyes and I saw it. The look on Jasper's face when he had reached Sam to recieve the first envelope a mixx of pain and terror and love. He was searching for his love and he glanced at Sam wirh a begging look. That memory was the newest and easier to read than the others. Then another deom the fight two years ago. As I had walked over to Aro, Jasper had watched me like a hawk and a familiar thought popped in to my head, overprotective fool. Then at Bella's wedding he had his hand on my thigh and as I watched the procession he watched me. Hhis eyws were smiling, full of love and adorement. I wanted to cry but it was bittersweet. I had never seen these looks he gave me and again his words ran in my head. "I took her hand and without stopping to make sense kf it I followed her and for the first time in over a century I felt hope." I stopped watching Sam's future because it was too over powering but I sat there in an inbetween stage. I had no sight or hearing but I knew where I was. It helped me pass the time. It was the closest thing to slep I could ever achieve. I snapped out of my state some time as the sun was rising. It was a real vision.

Aro was at Charlie's house he hissed. Charliw was not there. He ran in to the woods where the rest of his family waited and they ran towards the clearing. Charlie's swnt overpowering them. When I came too Sam was kneading my side with his head. "It's okay Sam, " I asured him. "Carlisle they're coming. They came early hoping we would not have Charlie so they could still kill him and they were at his house. Sue needs to leave and Charlie, Nesie, and Jacob should be prepared to take off." I ran over to the geouo and looked back at Sam. "Thank you. " He just bobbed his head.

"Come on," Carlisle called and we all ran to the clearing. That was where we wanted to lure them.