STREET RAT, jj [ON HIATUS]

change of heart .

19] CHANGE OF HEART

IF SHE COULD, Synley would throw herself off a cliff. She was so embarrassed. She felt sick to her stomach at the thought of the scene she had made just a short hour ago. She didn't know why JJ was still here, if she were him she'd run far away.

Silence enveloped the space around them, it'd been this way since she had gotten out of the shower. The void of communication made her loathe herself for reacting the way she did even more. Their dynamic felt awkward now and she just knows that he wants to be anywhere but here.

She wanted to be anywhere but here. Away from herself. If only that were possible.

Syn fumbled with her fingers from her place on the floor, lightly tracing over the deep bite marks she had caused. She was searching for something to say. The lack of sound was suffocating. "You know you can leave if you want?" She didn't mean to sound so harsh, but it came out with a tinge of bitterness anyways.

JJ lifted his head, letting his blue eyes scan over her small frame from across the room. He ran his hand through his hair before resting it on his knee once more. Synley refused to meet his gaze. She didn't wanna face him.

"Yeah." he answered simply. Syn shuffled to the right, letting the wall support her rather than the door so he could walk out. A few seconds passed, and he was still here. She furrowed her brows, dropping her hands to her lap while she looked up. He was already looking at her, patience written all over his face. His lack of response pissed her off.

"Well?" she almost snapped, a hint of anger in her eyes. She wasn't mad at him. She was angry with herself for slipping up the way she did. He looked at her differently now, she knew it. He had to have. Fucking pity, she hated it.  

J sighed, pushing himself off the ground. Synley glared at him as he began to walk towards the door. He never reached it though, and instead moved to stand in front of her. He plopped down, shifting so that he could sit tailor-fashioned, mirroring her own position.

"We're not doing this." he said matter-of-factly. This only aggravated Synley more. Why wouldn't he just leave? She knew he wanted to.

"Doing what?" she grit her teeth, looking back down at her hands. He huffed out, rolling his ocean colored eyes.

"The thing where you push me away just because I saw you with your walls down." he responded. Synley tightened her jaw in an attempt to stop the hot tears from filling her waterline. Get a grip, she mentally scolded herself.

"I'm not, JJ." she lied, her voice a bit softer this time. She felt calloused fingers touch her face, and she flinched at his touch before allowing him to pull her chin up. She glared at the wall, she didn't wanna cry in front of him again.

"Hope not because it's not gonna work." he let his lips lift up into a lopsided smirk as his hands dropped from her skin. He knew the game she was trying to play. He's dealt with it before when everything happened with her dad. He wasn't gonna let her push him away again. Not like she did then.