Frost & Fire

Chapter 12 (Abigail)

I hated the silence between us, but I didn't quite know what to say. I hated war, I hated feeling like there were so many senseless deaths that were going to be caused soon. Maybe I wasn't the leader Jotinheim needed or wanted. "I'm sorry." I said after a few minutes.

"For what, Kitten?"

"For not being what you or they need me to be." I took a sip of my tea and looked at him. "Even here, I'm supposed to be okay with weapons of mass destruction and senseless deaths. That's not who I am and I can't pretend to be."

"Abigail, nobody expects you to be."

"Yes, you do. You wanted me to be okay with how you got the information you did. You wanted me to pretend like it was nothing, but it is to me!"

He sighed and leaned over to put his hands on my knees. "No, I knew you wouldn't be, but I had hoped that I wouldn't have to tell you. You are exactly what I need to keep myself in line. Many of the women on our council need someone like you in charge."

"I hope you're right."

More silence. More agonizing silence between us as if we were strangers. We never had this kind of quietness and it bothered me more than words could explain. I put my cup down and held onto his hands, just wanting to feel closer to him. I let him wrap his arms around me and move me so I was sitting on his lap on a chair.

"Am I intruding?" Pepper asked as she came onto the terrace.

"No, it's okay. What's up?" I asked as she took a seat in front of us.

"Just needed some air and wanted to check up on you two."

"We'll be okay, thank you, Pepper." Loki said in a calm voice. "How are you feeling?"

"Better, the morning sickness is finally subsiding." She said with a smile and absently put a hand on her growing stomach. "Can I give you some advice, Abby?" I nodded slowly. "Sometimes we have to do what we need to do. It's not always right, but this is a new world for you and they may not react the way we do." She said as calmly as she could.

She was right of course, but that didn't mean that I had to like it. I didn't have to like any of this or how anyone wanted us to act to protect them. And how were we going to do that? How did we know that those we put on the council were to be trusted.

"How are we supposed to find a happy medium, Pep? How are we supposed to prove we aren't going to be taken out, but that we shouldn't be feared if they're not doing anything wrong."

"If I knew that, I think you would have had a much different upbringing." She smiled at us. "I'm sure that raising a child is quite similar to trying to rule a planet. You're never going to know what the right answer is, you just figure it out as you go. And right now, these rebels are your teen years."

I couldn't help but laugh at the analogy. If the two were similar, we were going to be royally fucked because gods knew I was one sneaky child. I remembered plenty of nights when my father, Pepper, and even my mom would fight for hours on how to punish me when I'd actually get caught sneaking into bars and being out way past curfew. I always preferred staying with Pep and my dad because they were actually more lenient than my mom and step dad were; Dad would simply take away the keys of the cars and have Jarvis set off an alarm if I tried to leave. My mother and step dad resorted to stricter groundings with no electronics and when they saw fit, I'd get physical punishments when I pushed too far.

"You're right.." I said to Pepper and looked to Loki. "I still don't want you to resort to your old ways, but they need to see us for us. Maybe it's not going to be easy, but they need to keep seeing us as a single unit. I understand that sometimes you'll need to use force, just don't go too far, please."

"I won't, Kitten, I promise. I promise to be more careful, but I will also make sure you're always safe. I know I've failed at that recently, but I'm working on it and I will not let anyone get away with harming you."

"Or our people." I said softly, placing my hands on either side of his face, kissing him gently.

"Now that you two are back on good terms, what do you say you help me make dinner? I have a feeling Volsgtagg could eat a five star buffet clean." Pepper said with a laugh.

"Oh, he could. Mind if I make a suggestion, Kitten?"

"Hm? What would you like, Daddy?"

"How does some bacon wrapped chicken sound?"

"Brown sugar too?"

"That would be great."

I kissed him softly and went to make sure we had everything we needed for dinner and then began cooking. Pepper and I busied ourselves around each other as we made a five course meal and set the table for everyone. I'd occasionally look out to the balcony, seeing Loki lounge as he read and I was reminded of everything that made me fall in love with him more and more every day. We had let our lives get so hectic that I couldn't remember the last time we cuddled up on a chair or a couch and just read until we were ready for bed. We had forgotten what it was to just relax and not worry anymore.

"Would you and Dad mind if we used the cabin after this? I think it'll be much needed."

"Of course!"

"Thank you." I grinned, starting a pot of coffee and a pot of hot water for some tea. "White or red wine?"

"Red. Tony!"

"Yes, my dear." My dad asked as he walked into the kitchen. "Smells amazing in here."

"Thank you. Can you go grab some wine for dinner? I was thinking a red."

"On it." He said before heading back out of the room, grabbing the wine we needed for dinner and then headed out to where Loki was.

"Should I be worried?" I asked jokingly.

"Nah, I'm sure everything is fine. He's relaxed a lot since you two got married."