Unrequited Love

t w e n t y - o n e

Zora

Nakauwi na kami't lahat lahat pero hindi parin matanggal sa isip ko yung nangyari kanina. What's his fucking deal? My feelings for him is starting to burst.

"Is that the guy?" biglang tanong ni Kenji.

"Since when did you get here?" i asked.

"Just now." sabi niya bago siya humiga sa kama ko.

"Uh will you please get out?" i asked. He shrugged his shoulders.

"Why are you doing this?" i asked again. Tumingin siya sakin.

"Why am i doing what?"

"Why are you being so considerate right now? Gusto mo ba talaga akong paalisin ng ganun ganun lang? Like, are you planning on something?" i said.

"No. I hate doing plans. I've been straight forward ever since. Was it bad that i just care?" sabi niya. Napatigil yung mundo ko. He cares about me?

"Do you really? Bakit ba gustong gusto mo akong paalisin dito?" i asked.

"Reasons that i couldn't really tell. But, have i been asking you to leave? No, right?" he said. He's actually right. He was just giving me cold shoulders but he never forced me to leave anymore.

"Tell me about her." i suddenly said. Bahala na kung saan tutungo tong conversation na toh. I just want him to atleast trust me.

"Well, we met during our college years. Me, Noah and Elijah were already bestfriends. We actually planned on making a band. We were just trying to find a vocalist that time. When events happened in our university, i saw her singing. She was good at it. So, i tried to talk to her to ask her if she wants to join the band so we could actually compete against other schools. She agreed. We never even think about being a real band until Director Chang just asked us to sign up in her agency para masponsor niya kami. I was a bit skeptical but we agreed anyways. So it happened right? Then, few years later pinatira na kami sa band house. Nagaalala na kami that time because she faints frequently. During our practices, when we have events. Akala namin dahil sa stress lang yun. But we were wrong. She found out about her heart deficiency but decided not to tell us. She just told us nung malapit na kaming magdebut. She quitted. We were devastated. That's why we were shocked nung malaman naming may bago nanaman kaming vocalist. Hindi ganun kadaling makahanap ng vocalist but I think Director Chang considered you kasi you've been on gigs and all that. And plus, you are actually really good in singing." He said. The topic went from Everest then me. I only asked him about Everest tho but, I'm actually really happy that he's starting to open up to me.

"I've liked her ever since college years. But, unlucky for me, she likes someone else." dagdag niya. He looked so sad which hurts me.

"And who was that?" i asked kahit alam ko na kung sino yung tinutukoy niya.

"Elijah. Knowing him, he's been a playboy. I hate seeing her cry over him. This is why i tried to get you away from him too kasi baka pati ikaw masaktan lang din niya. He is really close to me but i can't just tolerate his actions. I just hate seeing people cry over some stupid stuff." sabi niya. I never realize that he was doing that. Akala ko ginagawa niya lang yun dahil naiinis siya na yung taong mahal niya ay gusto si Elijah. But, he was actually just trying to save us from getting hurt. To be honest tho, i think Elijah changed. Noah told me so too and knowing Noah, he doesn't lie at all.

"How about you? Tell me about that guy." he said. I told him the whole story. How we met, how my parents died. He became uneasy all of a sudden so i stopped telling him the whole story.

"I think you should rest." sabi ko sakanya. Nakatingin lang siya sa ceiling.

"Can I rest here? I'm kinda tired and lazy to go back to my room." sabi niya. Napairap ako.

"Go to your room. Baka matulog na rin ako i won't be able to wake you up." i said. Kahit na kinikilig ako, i still kept my cool. Hindi ko pwede ipakita yun lalo na't alam kong may gusto siyang iba. I'm going to keep my feelings to myself until I just fall out of it.

"Then go sleep. I can wake up later anyways then transfer to my room." sabi niya.

"Okay." i said as i lay down on the sofa that i have inside my room.

"Why are you sleeping there, dumbass?"

"You're on my bed asshole." asik ko.

"You can lay here. I have no bad intentions. Unless-"

"Shut up douche." sabi ko. I stood up to lay down on my bed. Hindi ako humarap sakanya. It's going to be so fucking awkward.

"Sorry nga pala for kissing you just like that. I saw you cry and i felt really bad because of it. I shouldn't have done that knowing that you were already stressing out about some stuff." he said. Is he really apologizing? No, wait...

Is he really Kenji?

"It's okay. I forgot about it already." i lied. I've been straight up thinking about it ever since it happened. Now that he apologized, i think i may be able to move on from it.

"Go to sleep." sabi niya. I put my blanket over me para makatulog na rin ako.

—

I woke up the next morning to check if he's still beside me. He's not. Was it all a dream? I was hoping it wasn't because i felt really close to him that time. He opened up to me and it was the first time. Sana tumaas yung tiwala niya sakin. I just want him to trust me. That's all that matters. Ayoko na rin kasi na magkaroon pa ng awkwardness between us and para narin sabay sabay kaming magsisiyahang apat at walang naleleft out.

"Zora, you awake?" Noah asked while knocking on the door.

"Hmmmm.. Yeah. I'm about to go out in a second." sabi ko sakanya as I got up from sleeping.

"Okay. We'll wait in the band room." sabi niya. I brushed my teeth and brushed my hair. I didn't change my pajamas. It's comfy.

Pagpasok ko ng band room ay nakita kong kumakain sila ng pizza and chips. They also set up a projector to watch some movies.

"Ano toh?" i asked.

"Celebration of our debut." sabi ni Elijah. I looked at Kenji's direction. He was smiling while talking to Elijah.

Is this even real? Or am I just used to Kenji being rude and mean?