Unrequited Love

t h i r t e e n

Zora

Hindi ko parin maalis sa utak ko yung sinabi ni Elijah. I was wrong the whole time. It was not him nor Noah. Was it really Kenji?

Aish! I need to stop thinking about it. It's no good.

"Haru. Masama bang magassume?"

"Quack!"

"Masama bang magkaroon ng mixed feelings?"

"Quack!"

"M-masama bang magkaroon ng feelings para kay Kenji?" Hindi sumagot si Haru sa tanong ko.

"Gago ka talaga." sabi ko dito. Nalilito na ako. Hindi naman kami palaging magkasama ni Kenji pero bakit parang naiipon lahat ng feelings ko para sakanya? Bakit ganun kabilis?

Why do good girls always fall inlove with bad guys? Kaya ko kayang magpractice mamaya nang hindi siya iniisip? That's just one kiss, Zora.

Bakit ganoooon! Di ko siya matanggal sa isip ko! Pagnakikita ko siya naiinis ako pero at the same time i'm glad that he's around. Hindi ako pwedeng mahulog sa isang tao na may mahal nanaman na iba.

"Pagod na akong masaktan, Haru." sabi ko nang bigla nalang bumagsak ang mga luha ko.

"Masaktan saan?" Nagulat ako nang bigla bigla nalang sumulpot si Elijah. Pinunasan ko agad ang luha ko.

"A-ah nagpapractice ako magacting." palusot ko sakanya.

"Band sinalihan mo, Zora. Hindi TV drama." natatawang sabi niya. Nilapitan niya ako.

"Okay ka na ba?" tanong niya sakin. Tumango ako.

"Here. I made this for you." sabi niya sakin matapos niya akong bigyan ng mainit na tea.

"Thank you." tipid kong sabi.

"Did Kenji really hug you last night?" Seryosong tanong ni Elijah. Nagkibitbalikat ako.

"I think i was just dreaming. Nagkaron kasi ako ng masamang panaginip kagabi." Sabi ko sakanya.

"About?" tanong niya ulit.

"My parents." sabi ko sakanya. Nafeel kong interesado siya na malaman kung ano nangyari but he was holding back to ask me about it.

"They died 3 years ago due to car accident. I was left all alone. I have no siblings and relatives either. I didn't set up a funeral for them but i cremated them para madala ko sila kung saan saan." sabi ko. He looked apologetic all of a sudden.

"I'm sorry to hear, Zora. But at this point, please do know that you're not alone anymore." sabi niya sakin.

"It's okay. And thank you for being so kind to me. Kahit na baguhan palang ako sa band, pinaramdam niyo sakin na hindi talaga ako nagiisa." sabi ko sakanya. He gave me a hug and i did the same.

"If you need to open up or if you need someone to be with you, nandito lang ako." he said. Tumango ako.

—

It's time for rehearsals. Kinakabahan ako not because i can't sing but, the fact that Kenji will be there and i might not be able to focus. Huminga muna ako ng malalim bago pumasok ng band room. As expected, Kenji's not there again. Lumuwag ang pakiramdam ko.

"Late nanaman siya?" i asked. 

"He might be with Everest at this point. Never naman lumalabas yun nung kumpleto pa kami noon. But now that she left, lagi na siyang lumalabas to visit her." Sabi ni Elijah habang hinahanap ang drumsticks niya. Medyo nalungkot ako sa sinabi niya but i brushed it off. 

I can't fall inlove. I can't.

"Lagi bang nawawala drumsticks mo?" i asked Elijah. 

"Nope. Noah and Kenji would always hide it from me kahit nung nasa college pa kami noon." Sabi niya sakin. They must be really really close. 

"So, by any chance, are Kenji and Everest in a relationship?" i asked out of the blue. Napatakip ako ng bibig. Why the fuck would i ask that?

"Bakit ka interesado? Do you like Kenji?" pangaasar ni Noah. Namula ako bigla kaya humarap ako sa ibang direksyon.

"Wag mo siyang asarin ng ganyan." Inis na sabi ni Elijah. Umalis siya ng bandroom bigla.

"What's up with the both of them? Ever since you came here they don't know how to act anymore." sabi ni Noah. 

"S-should i leave then?" i asked. Parang kasalanan ko lahat eh.

"No. That's totally not what i'm trying to say. Naweweirduhan lang ako sakanila. Anyways, i'm going to answer your question instead. Kenji and Everest were never in a relationship. Everest likes Elijah but, somehow Kenji hated how he always see Everest crying over Elijah so he tried his best to make her feel that she's loved by him. I don't know about now though since lagi naman din silang magkasama. In some point of time, baka mahulog na din si Everest kay Kenji." sabi ni Noah. I felt a slight sting in my heart. 

Bitch, i can't fall inlove. 

"Do you happen to have a picture of Everest?" i asked. Noah nodded. He showed me a picture of her. She's fucking beautiful. How can Elijah dump a girl like her? Sa bagay playboy naman si Elijah. 

"Knowing Elijah, he abides by the rules here kahit playboy siya. It is strictly not allowed to fall inlove with your co-band members until your contract is not done yet. We have 1 year of contract here and after that, you're on your own and you are no longer under the agency. Only if the company gained money from it tho." he explained. 

"Hindi pa nga kayo nakakadebut may mga drama nang nangyayari." sabi ko naman. Tumango siya.

"Also, i didn't get to tell you one thing. Everest told me and only me na one of the reasons why she left is because she can't let Kenji fall hard for her since the rules about dating a co-member is prohibited. She also told me na part of it was her feelings for Elijah. Si Kenji lang naman makulit. Wala siyang pake kahit mainlove pa siya lalo kay Everest." sabi ni Noah. Now that makes alot more sense to me. Noah is obeservant. Lahat ng nasa paligid niya naiintidihan niya. 

So, i'm not even kidding about me falling inlove. Not only na madidistract ako, if ever na ma-fall ako ng todo, i might as well have to leave the band house too. This is bad. I have to stop this as soon as possible. The topic is getting hot so i changed it.

"Hindi ba kayo chinecheck ng CEO every now and then?" i asked. 

"Not really. She has high expectations and she trusts us. But because of what is happening right now, i don't think-" pinutol ko yung sinasabi niya.

"Make a group chat right now. I can't let my dream vanish just like that. Starting from this point, i'll be incharge of this band til we all debut." determinado kong sabi kay Noah.