bitter exes | beidou x ningguang

chapter xlvi

The same night but in Ningguang's point of view...

Ningguang left Wangshu Inn straight away before Changying could take full advantage of her. Muttering a cold thanks then also repaying her with a bunch of mora as she pictures the suspicious woman blackmailing her years from now on. As she left the place with Ganyu, who constantly worried about her boss, the journey was silent and all that her secretary could do is notice her swollen and puffed her eyes were. But she reluctantly asked some questions, careful not to touch a sensitive spot. Also the fact that no one ever knew about their serious relationship, some rumors only telling that they only have a very unusual relationship. However, Ganyu and Keqing had suspected something else, only afraid to clarify things out since Ningguang is an uptight woman.

Hence the reason why she suffers alone, no one to talk to about their relationship and how it ended so fast within those two years they had been sharing. Her hands shook as she fought back the tears trying to escape from her eyes. Eagerly wanting to burst out her pain and regret at what she had done. At this point, she didn't why she's mourning though it was her decision to end things well. She should have been free and happy from leaving on a toxic relationship but instead she received the feeling of miserable and heartless. Whenever she spaces out, it would always make her recall the time when she saw Beidou's tears streaming down on the night of her birthday. The one and only thing that bugged her the most. Now she wanted to apologize and ask for her forgiveness in order to truly move on.

After going on a long journey, they instantly entered her chamber. Ningguang only wanting to relax and maybe try to forget the regret she has deep inside her heart. She sat at her usual spot, scribbling down something at the papers. For a moment, she gives up and started reading some novels but she spaces out every turn of a page.

Ganyu was so worried at how her boss is acting so distant and blue so she could not contain it anymore, "Miss Ningguang? Did something happen between you and Captain Beidou?" she asked slyly.

Ningguang flinched a bit before turning towards her, "W-What? Me and Beidou? N-No... she... she just have to leave forever on a v-voyage... maybe... pursuing her dream to defeat Haishan again..." she tried not sounding guilty, looking away from her eyes.

Ganyu took her response and believed it anyways though she sensed something peculiar, "Oh, yeah... You must have been so disappointed that's why you ran away..." she wondered, trying to connect the dots, "Captain Beidou is a really someone who would take her word in order to attain her dreams..." she muttered but realized she said way too much.

Ningguang felt sadder so she chose to stay silent. Ganyu looked over her in concern, "But don't worry, Miss Ningguang. Captain Beidou would never leave her friend for way too long!" she beamed, attempting to fill in the tight atmosphere enveloping them.

Yes. Her secretary only thinks that they are only close frienemies.

She gazed beyond the skies, "I do hope she returns..." she felt stupid in a way. Not knowing what her true feelings are trying to expose and say. Her mind being occupied by all of the things she ought to forget forever. Not knowing if she still loves Beidou or is only infatuated.

No. She must hate her. As she thought of all of the scenes wherein they had fought about time always. Trying to savour every bit of memory that made her want to stop the toxic relationship. But in a way, she could not possibly hate her since she made Beidou feel so depressed that she had to leave her on a greatest and most awaited day of the year. All this time, she just wanted to love and be loved but it all shattered into pieces. Later on realizing that love is really something that could also break your heart a thousand times more.

Ganyu left to give her boss some nice cup of tea since she's lost from her thoughts. A cue for Ningguang to shed a tear, quickly wiping them off before someone else sees. Not being able to comprehend what's her point of being so bothered. Also realizing that the point of ending things with her love seemed to hurt her even more. But as far as she knew, she only wanted to escape from the darkness engulfing her. Wanting to prove that she hated Beidou and will forever hate her.