City of all things changed (ON HOLD)

14- imagine

Cover by @sugar_n_spice_xx
Clary's POV-
Simon was safe, I could finally stop worrying. Well about him anyways.
Alec kept giving me suspicious glances, so did Jace. I need to keep my rune making a secret.
I was sitting in my bed drawing. I wasn't paying attention much, I was kind of drawing random squiggles that will eventually turn into something that was at the front of my mind but I didn't realise it. It helps me understand what my priorities are, doing this.
I had a cup of tea beside me in a lovely porcelain cup.
I drew absentmindedly. Closing my eyes most of the time and letting my pencil scratch across the page.
A small smile tugged at my lips, I love drawing.
Soft music was playing in the background and I hummed along to it.
I thought of Sebastian, when was I going to see him again? Should I try to train without him? Yes I should, I'll do that as soon as I finish sketching.
I felt my hand run out of lines to draw and slammed my book closed and threw it onto the bed.
The pencil following soon after. I pulled on some shorts and a sports bra and grabbed a water bottle. I pulled on my shoes then walked briskly towards the training room.
I pulled th door open and breathed in a deep calming breath.
As I took in the weapons scattered across he walls, the slightly slashed up dummies and ropes and various training equipment, I couldn't help but smile, this is one of my favourite things to do.
I picked up the daggers first. I stood in the middle of a circle of moving targets, wrapping the blindfold around my eyes, I began.
I stood and listened to the sounds for a minute, becoming aware of my surroundings.
There were many daggers strapped to me and one by one, the disappeared. I am sure I hit all the targets in the middle, but I heard noise.
It sounded like footsteps. I threw it in the direction, secretly hoping I would just knick them with the dagger.
I heard a slight yell after the dagger had hit the target. I smirked then whipped off the blindfold.
There stood Alec. He was clutching his right arm while hopelessly trying to draw and iratze with his left hand.
I sighed. Walking over to him I snatched the stele away from his slightly uncoordinated hand and drew it myself quickly. It healed quickly, quicker than it normally does. I noticed a few faint white lines from previous scars all disappeared as well. Oops, I didn't mean to make it stronger than normal ones, I guess it just happens.
I quickly shoved the stele back into his hand and turned around.
"Do you need a sparring partner"
"Yes, I doubt you could help me though"
"Let me try"
"Fine"
We stepped into the centre of the room where a semi-large area was cleared.
I got into my stance as Alec got into his. Wee circled for a short amount of time, I assessed his skills, with each step I took, he took one too. He had decent footwork. He was agile but lacked as all amount in strength, his build slightly smaller, muscles less defined than Jaces. Wait did I just... Don't even worry. I shook the thought out of my head and Alec took this moment of distraction to his advantage.
He threw a right hook at me, I caught it in my hand and twisted his arm around painfully before spinning him round and pulling it up behind his back. I kicked his knees out from under him and pinned him to the ground.
He struggled a bit then layed still. I let him go and he stood up.
"Give up yet lover boy?" raising eyebrow challengingly.
He looked confused, "oh, you didn't notice Magnus taking a liking to you? You must be blind" he blushed furiously before getting slightly angry and advancing on me again. I kept taking him down, pinning him to the floor with ease.
I wanted to make him angry, make him let out any pent up frustration, he really couldn't hurt me that much.
"Imagine what they would think of you. How they would shun you. What would Jace do?" He got a strange look in his eye when I mentioned Jace. I tipped my head to the side a little. "Hmm, Jace. What I would do to him, I don't even have to try and make him gay before I do it. I could call him right now, and you could watch. Would you like that Alec? Or would you rather join in?"
He was fuming, throwing furious punches that I blocked, making him even more frustrated.
I caught his arms and turned him around, bending him down abit as he was at my mercy, I whispered into his ear, "you love him don't you Alec, you have lived him a while now. But you know you never had a chance with him. He sees you as a brother, and that's the closest you are ever going to be" I dropped him, and he landed in his knees shaking, his back facing me.
"How do you know?how did you figure all that out? How did you get me so angry so easily?" He sounded so confused and broken.
"It was easy to see it. You are like an open book Alec. It was easy to frustrate you, I wanted you to take out all your anger on me. I know you still have some left. Picture me as Jace. Stand up and face me." He did as I said.
"Close your eyes, I won't attack you. Now I'm Jace. You just told me how you felt. Now, I am angry at you. You want to hurt me, I never noticed. I never cared enough to notice. I never knew you well enough to even see the glint of happiness in your eye when I was mentioned. And when you told me, I turned my back on you, disgusted. I can't believe I was your friend, your brother, your parabatai. Or I'm your father. He tensed at that. I hate that you are what you are, I raised you differently. Or I was never here to raise you. Everything you have ever been angry about, anyone you were ever angry with... Think of them now. Channel it through. Feel the anger, the frustration, the rejection, the heartbreak. Now... Let it out."
And he did, he flung strong punched that came from everywhere. Although they never really hit the spot I could tell he didn't care. He would grunt and yell with each punch. He was breathing heavily. He kicked and punched until he was sweating furiously and breathing heavily.
He then opened his eyes and smiled.
"Fell better?" I asked.
"I feel so...light. Like a massive weight has been lifted of my chest. Like I have space in my head to think. I can't even remember how I walked and moved before, It was like I had lead balls weighing me down."
"It is a nice feeling isn't it? One of my favourites"
"Yes, it is wonderful"
I nodded and started to walk out of the training room.
"Thankyou Clary" Alec barely whispered it, but I heard it. I turned and smiled a small smile before nodding and then continuing out the door.
I showered, letting the water wash the stress of my body. I needed a good training, where was Sebastian when you need him.
I walked into my room, fully clothed, and jumped down onto my bed next to my sketch book.
My father had given it to me a while ago for my birthday. It had so many drawings in it it's not funny.
It's usually sketches of fighting skills, of weapons, of the mortal instruments.
I flipped through them. Various demons, faces of innocent people I had felt guilt for murdering.
There was a small sketch of Sebastian Verlac, the real one.
It wasn't his fault he ended up being the victim we had to choose, he just happened to be the perfect candidate.
Sebastian was lying on the ground, a growing stain of dark on his chest. his eyes wide and lifeless, his black hair matted to his head. He looked terrible, but if I didn't draw it, it would haunt my dreams at night. It's like I have taken it out of my head and put it on paper to get rid of it.
I flipped the page, I haven't seen this one. It was a sketch of the one and only, Jace. His arms were folded over his bare chest, defined muscles showed and his runes were scattered over his body. Large wings curled around him and light seemed to shine around him, he looked like an angel.
I then prepared myself for what was on the next page, I gasped as it fell onto the page. In the left corner was a sketch of my father, lying on the ground completely lifeless.
In another corner was me, my eyes were fully gold, large wings billowed out behind me. Next to me was Jace, we were hovering over a battlefield, my brother was in the middle, bowing on one knee as a figure without a face came charging at him with a knife held above his head. I had not taken my pencil from the page when I drew this, so it looked like mindless scribbles I between each figure.
Is this really what I am thinking? I want to rule with Jace by my side, Sebastian at my bidding and my father dead, with my own dagger in his chest? I threw my sketchbook across the room and it hit it with a thud before falling to the ground, falling open to a page I can't remember seeing, it was me, half was a demon, half the angel side of me, but the demon side was slowly getting larger, taking over the angel. What was happening to me?