City of all things changed (ON HOLD)

15- light

Clary's POV-
What is happening to me?
I usually feel bright...alive. Although usually, surrounded I am darkness, making sure the light never escaped to its full capacity.
But I could feel the weight on my chest, I could feel the darkness getting stronger, it was closing in on the light. It was only slow, but it was still happening.
What if it took over? Would I be lost, like my brother? The angel part of me gone?
I was breathing deeply, my throat felt dry and scratchy, I got up and stumbled to my door. I flung it open and stumbled down the hallways and stairs, using the rails and walls for support.
I came to the kitchen and went to the bench. I stopped myself running full pelt into it with my hands. I stood there, leaning against the bench unstable and breathing heavily for a few minutes.
I began to move my way around while gripping tightly to the bench-top. I opened a cupboard up the top and grabbed a glass with furiously shaking hands. My palms were sweating and I started to feel dizzy. I didn't notice when the glass slipped from my fingers and fell to the floor.
It shattered all over the tiled kitchen floor, my fingers and toes were bleeding, but I didn't notice. The shattering noise reverberated through the halls but I barely heard it. I closed my eyes and took slow deep breaths. I was shaking and I felt like I was about to faint.
I stumbled out of the kitchen, running into the walls with my shoulders. Everything was spinning and becoming dark. My eyes were burning behind my eyelids. I opened them but was blinded by light. I could barely see anything.
Something was calling out to me. Beckoning for me to come to them. I stretched a hand out. I felt my knees buckling and my body following after them onto the floor.
I had shut my eyes to block out the light but I was still blinded. Then, to my relief, the light started to be consumed in darkness and then, everything went black.
***
I could feel the brightness burn through my eyelids. I left them closed for now, forcing my eyes to get used to bright red light concealed by my eyelids. I could feel the slightly hard cushioned thing I was on dig into my shoulder blades and the small pain in my lower back was quite annoying. I had lost the feeling in my legs for lying down for too long.
I thought i could almost make out hushed voices, but they were being muffled. The room could have almost felt familiar, but I couldn't quite place it. I breathed in deeply, many scents infiltrated my nose, but an overwhelming smell of 'hospital' i guess you would call it, or in my case, it smells like the infirmary, the uncomfortable and seeming bright room confirmed my thoughts. I've never understood why on earth hospitals and such never think that maybe, the patients might wake a bit sooner if they could open their eyes without fear of them being singed from their sockets when they do. Despite the bright light, i forced myself to peel them open.
I blinked a few times and I could feel my eyes becoming more focused. The whispers continued, I was aching everywhere. I then was he with a tidal wave of memories.
I had a feeling I knew what was happening, I wanted to dismiss it, that couldn't be possible. I was equally angel and demon, my demon side could not be taking over. Technically I was more angel than demon, seeing as I was a shadowhunter, I was already part angel. There should be enough good in me to overpower the evil.
I needed to get to my father and Sebastian. They would know what to do.
I sat up slowly and allowed my head to orientate itself, I slipped my legs over the side of the bed thing. Then I slipped to the floor, my feet impacting with the cold tiles.
The coolness felt nice, like when it's a hot day and you put something cold on your forehead.
I could tell it wasn't supposed to be hot today, I could feel the slight cold biting at my fingertips and the ends of my toes. The rest of my body felt hot, I had a terrible feeling in my stomach and my head felt like it was being compressed, the dull ache I tried my best to put aside, I had felt worse. However I knew what I had could not be fixed with an iratze.
I stumbled my way out of the infirmary, my body felt weak. I had never felt as weak and useless as i did now, and I hated it.
I heard the footsteps of the other person before I saw them, "Clary, what are you doing up and about already? You need rest" Jocelyn was standing infront of me in all her beauty.
"Where is my stele?"
"Come, go to your room"
"I. Will not. Ask. Again. Where is.. My stele" I was angry. I fact, I was seething. My teeth were grounding together. Jocelyn realised my predicament and gestured for me to follow her.
We walked down the extravagant hallways in a silence so thick it could be cut through with a knife.
She finally opened a door I had not seen the other side of. It turned out to be her bedroom, i lingered outside in the hallway. I watched her go to the bedside table which had a lone picture of a happy enough looking family.
A gorgeous lady in her youth with fiery red hair. Standing next to her a handsome man, it was obvious this was Jocelyn and Father. In Jocelyn arms was held a small baby, looking to be only afew months perhaps. The baby was placid, unlike many mundane photos where the baby's face was scrunched up and tears leaked out of its eyes.
Standing infront of Father was a much younger Sebastian. He still had his white blonde hair even back then. He only looked no more than perhaps three, he had an expression slightly too serious for a child of his age, his eyes stood out in comparison to his fair skin and hair.
I tore my age away from the photo to see Jocelyn gazing at me, my stele balanced in her hand, like it almost belonged there.
I scowled at her before snatching my stele from her outstretched hand and storming down the hall to my room.
I dressed in more appropriate attire than the dirty jeans and tshirt I was wearing.
I picked up my stele once again and flipped it around my fingers. It felt like it truely belonged in my hand, so graceful. The intricate designs that covered it were beautiful, various runes scattered across it added to its preciousness.
I flipped it to the way I prefer to hold it then place the tip against the wall.
The portal blew out from the rune and swirled in front of me. I closed my eyes and imagined our home. I stepped through the surface and felt the satisfying lurch in my stomach. I opened my eyes to find myself in the living room. I closed the portal and heard footsteps from behind me, "Father, I nee-" I paused as I spun around.
"Funny seeing you here Clary"
"Where is my father Jace?"

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I decided not to do the votes thing at the start of the chapter just cause it puts a limit plus you guys alone can't do much to help bump it up or whatever so I'm just going to go on normally from now on.
Thanks
Bells xxx