Another Lifetime | Dreamnotfound AU

Chapter 4: Decided

George was in his room, watching out in the window. The animals looked peaceful and harmless. He looked at the pandas and he felt jealousy bubbled in his chest. Why can't he just be like them? Peaceful and is cuddled with their loved ones. He imagined that it was him and Clay, cuddling, sleeping outside, under a tree. The thought made him smile but it wasn't a happy smile. He then realized that he never smiled in a long time. What has happened to him?

He felt the breeze hit his face. The curtain in his side danced swiftly with the wind. He looked at the moon and the stars. The moon looked like it was riding in the floating clouds. His eyes were immediately brimmed with tears. He didn't know what to do. He wants to give himself a chance but he also doesn't want his heart to be broken into sharp pieces again. He was worried about whatever would happen to him if he will do it.

He was startled by the door creaking. He turned around and was welcome by Niki walking towards him. Niki was in her unicorn onesies. A white-colored tail with the colors pink, purple, and blue was trailing behind. The tail touched the wooden floor like a snake flowing Niki.

"Hi" George greeted in a low volume to make sure to not wake anyone up.

"Hello, George. You seem to be... thinking?" Niki said the words came out in her mouth with concern.

"Yeah..." George agreed, nodding his head as he did.

"And what is it about?" Niki asked, the concern in her voice seemed to get bigger as George spoke.

"It's just..." George sighed, but continued, "It's about the raffle event" Niki might've caught up because her face seemed to soften more.

"What about it?" Niki softly and carefully asked.

George felt a tear roll out of his eyes and quickly wiped it to avoid embarrassing his self.

"I don't know what to do. Should I do it? What if I do it and give Clay another chance and then... and then my heart will be broken again. What if something goes wrong. But at the same time, I want to give Clay another chance. I want myself to experience being alive, again. What if my new parents don't want me. What if they're abusive? I don't know what to do" George rambled and he looked at Niki, quietly expecting her to be gone but Niki was there attentively listening to him.

"George, c'mere" Niki sat on his bed and inviting George to sit beside him. George obliged. George sat next to Niki as Niki wraps her arms around George. George leaned his head on her shoulder, while he looks at the moon outside the window.

"George, don't stress, I don't want you to stress- no- everyone doesn't want you to stress. George you are going to be okay. You are brave-" George didn't believe that and he believed that him being called brave is the biggest bullshit ever but he chose to stay quiet. Niki's soft voice made him calmed down. It's like silk in your ear.

"George listen to me, okay?" George nodded.

"I want you to listen and follow where your heartbeats. I want you to follow it because love is the only thing that can vanquish hate. I want you to think about the people you left behind. I want you... to trust yourself, you've survived at least 18 years alive, others didn't have a chance to live that span, so don't ever doubt yourself. You'll survive whatever has to come. Did you think that they're happy that you're gone? Are you that desperate to know? If you are, why don't you listen to your heart? Don't worry George, I'm telling you, you will be a-okay and I promise that with all of my heart"

'Follow where your heart beats'

'Love is the only thing that can vanquish hate'

George let those advice soak in his heart and brain like a sponge being placed under running water. He felt Niki's soft palms rubbing his forearm. Niki started to hum something that made him feel comfortable and sleepy. His eyes started to flutter and before he knew it, he had fallen asleep. He was more than thankful for these people. They might be an idiot sometimes but he loves them.

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He woke up and looked beside him, he was shocked by the sight. It was Sapnap and... Clay. Clay seemed to have something in his hands. He peeked in their backs carefully. He looked at the paper and something was written on it.

It was his suicide letter.

The paper was brown and a bit torn by the edges. Teardrop and stains were very clear to see even from afar. A new tear dropped on it and he looked up to Clay who is crying. George felt his heartbreak by the sight.

Sapnap was there crying and comforting Clay at the same time. George tried to touch Clay, wanting Clay's presence in his palms again. But before he did, Clay vanished into thin air. Sapnap shot his head towards George.

"Did you want this?" Sapnap snapped at George. Sapnap's expression was... scary.

"Are you happy now?" Sapnap said, his voice breaking in the process. Sapnap started shaking a bit as he tried to keep his tears. George shook his head 'no' and a tear slipped out of his eyes, not even knowing he was crying.

"Please, George" Sapnap said and his voice soft and finally letting a tear-out. Feeling bad is an understatement. George didn't know what to do at that moment. All he could do was watch his best friend sob in front of him. He slowly walked towards Sapnap. Each step was heavy. He already completely messed up so he was scared. He opened his arms and slowly leaned towards Sapnap. Just after his skin got a contact with the fabric of Sapnap's shirt, he woke up in his room.

The bright morning sun hits the wooden floor and filled his room. He was tucked in bed. The birds outside sang their morning songs. George sat up, he finally knows what he needed to do.

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Hi! If you ever feel down. Just remember Niki's words okay? Okay <3333