Thank You, Corona

7. Better

'JACK?' I screeched in disbelief. He gave me an apologetic smile. I wanted to punch him. Angelina looked at us both.

'You guys know each other?' she asked.

'Uh, yeah, Carmen, my little sister, is her best friend,' Jack said, running his hand through his hair.

'Oh,' said Angelina nodding,' that's a pleasant surprise.'

I winced.

I threw the grocery bags on the floor and ran up to my room, slamming the door shut. I didn't know what I was feeling. I didn't know if I was happy that Jack was with Angelina or upset. I didn't know if I still liked him, or not. I didn't know if I had a crush on Chase, or not. I didn't know anything. I was just...

A stupid, pathetic, hopeless someone.

Creature completed my sentence for me. But it was true. I was such an idiot. I had let myself fall in love. I had foolishly given my heart to someone else. Out of 7 billion people, I went after the only two who might hate me if I declared my love for them.

I was so poignant. I couldn't even stand to see my old ex with another girl. I still couldn't move one. I was so desperate. There was nothing I could do about it. I just wanted to see Chase.

See?!

Even then, I wanted to see Chase. I wanted to hear his soothing voice in my ear. I wanted to hold his warm hand. I hate myself.

Desperate to let my feelings out, I kicked the dustbin with all the force I had. Then I flopped down on my bed and took out a lollipop. I wrestled the wrapper off and pushed it in my mouth.

I lay there on my bed for a very long time, just sucking, and slowly I began to get drowsy. I looked at the picture frame on my bed side table, focusing on Mom.

I imagined I was talking to her.

Hey Mom, Jack's got a new girlfriend.

Really? I'm so sorry, sweetie.

Nah, it's fine.

Oh, really?

Yeah, I like Chase now anyways.

Our Chase?! That's great, he's a wonderful boy!

Thanks, Mom!

I love you sweetie.

I love you too...

I whispered the last line out loud and let a single tear trickle down my cheek. The door creaked open that very moment and Dad came in. Embarrassed, I turned in my bed and hid my face in the covers. He sat on the corner and said, softly,

'Sweetheart, what happened?'

I peeked out from the blanket. I wanted to say something, anything, but no words came out. Instead I just burst into tears. Dad looked upset and he put his arm around me.

'it's ok,' he said soothingly,' let it all out.'

And I did. I sobbed my heart out. But I didn't tell him what happened. I just couldn't. I don't know when Dad left. When I woke up after I cried myself to sleep, he was gone.

When I woke up, it was nearly dinner time. I could smell microwaved lasagna which Dad must have brought from his office canteen. Cooking really isn't Dad's thing.

I felt ashamed of my break down now. Because dressing up always made me feel better, I did so. Although we were eating at home, I took out a silk pale pink, knee length, halter frock which was longer from the back than the front. I let my hair down, but pinned it back from the front in with a little twists. Then I put on matching pink court heels and applied some light makeup. A light glitter gloss, some silver eyeshadow and a spot of blush. Simple, but elegant.