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xix : the same coin

You threw the crumpled paper across the room, hearing it hit the wall then fall to the ground.

You were beyond mad, and you were unsure who you were more mad at: yourself or Hisoka. He was forcing this game of cat and mouse on you and you felt obliged to play right into it.

If he was within a 25km radius, he was certain to feel your bitter aura and bloodlust that swept over the city temporarily.

You hated him for treating you like a toy, instead of a partner. You hated that you felt like just another one of his toys. A toy for him to play games with and then put away as he pleased. You were frustrated because you didn't see this coming.. You never expected him to just leave. Hisoka was always a fickle man but this time you couldn't understand him. Did he get bored of you? Is that why he left?

There was no point in asking questions to yourself.

You got ready as quickly as you could, freshening up to go out. You slipped your shoes while admiring Hisoka's hotel room for the last time. You ignored your phone with a multitude of unread messages and unopened voicemails from your friend.

Truly, there was no point asking questions to yourself, but you knew someone with possible answers.

You took a taxi to get to the tall dark green trees you hadn't seen in a while. You were unable to book an appointment but felt desperate enough to come to this place anyway. You walked down the path, past the moss covered bench, to find the elderly woman waiting outside her silk tent for you.

You stopped in your tracks, not expecting her to greet you. "Here." You handed her some money, bowing your head slightly as an apology for the intrusion.
"I was expecting you. Come in, dear."

You sat across from each other as you did last time.
"Do you seek another fortune?" She asked.
"I just need answers.." You said, she hummed urging you to tell her more. "I almost died a few days ago.. and I'm looking for someone. I don't know where to look, and I don't know if I should even bother looking. I-" You thought before you finished your sentence, "I hate him."

"Be honest with yourself, dear. You love him. You wouldn't die for a man you didn't love. If you continue to deny your love for him, you will continue to be in the same place you started. Your love for him almost killed you once, you should assume your luck has gone thin. There was a time when you thought his absence would bring you happiness. And are you happy?"

You shook your head, feeling embarrassed but.. She was right. "You need to follow your heart, but know that ultimately that will lead you to him. Be wary of things you will find on your journey." She finished.

"How do you always know so much?" You were baffled.
"It's only my job. One more thing.. You should check your messages. Your friend is quite worried about you. Goodbye, dear." "Right.. Thank you, Dubla."

You got in a taxi and headed back to your hotel.
You sat in the back seat with your head in your hands and hair balled up in your fists. You didn't want to believe the feelings you had for Hisoka was love because all you could feel was hatred. That plane ticket never sounded so nice. Perhaps it was your destiny to travel. It only took a few minutes to purchase a ticket and then you were done.

By the next day, you'd begin your aimless adventures in a country far away.

Would you find Hisoka there? Unlikely.
But this wasn't about him. For once, this was for you. You decided you would begin your search for him once you got back. It didn't matter to you where he decided to run off because you knew you'd catch him.

You were almost at your hotel. You were listening to the voicemails Rayn had left you over the last few days. You felt bad listening to the increased anxiety in his tone as each message went unread. You should've answered him earlier in the day but your mind was preoccupied.