White Lies || Scaramouche X Reader

Chapter 5 - Self Reflection

《Scaramouche's POV》

The weather was back to its usual Liyue self. Raindrops from last nights storm were still on the windowsill.

Scaramouche slowly opened his eyes, gazing out the window. He sat up, and rubbed his eyes. To him, it was the best sleep he'd gotten in a while, yet somehow he felt worse than usual.

It took him only a few moments to realize the state he was in. He could smell something. Something sweet. There was a bowl on the table next to his bed. He couldn't tell what it was, but he was too hungry to care.

Scaramouche finished the food quickly, only to get up out of bed and leave the room. He felt a bit lightheaded but it was nothing he couldn't handle. He had been trained to withstand the most extreme situations, which included performing as usual while sick.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Y/N. They seemed to be purchasing something from the Inn manager. Y/N noticed him and they ran over.

"Scaramouche!" Y/N made their way to Scaramouche, "How are you feeling?"

"Fine.." he responded, almost embarrassed for having such a "weak" immune system.

"Hopefully you found the food I left you," Y/N took out a bag, "also, I bought some medicine. Not sure if it'll heal you completely, but it should make you feel better."

Scaramouche stared at them. Of course, on normal occasions he would tell them off and say he didn't need it. But this was different. He still had to continue his little act.

"Thank you, Y/N." He responded with a smile.

Y/N nodded, "Well, ready to head out? It's not too far until we reach our destination."

Scaramouche agreed and the two set off on their journey.

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《Your POV》

During the trip, the two of you had a lot of time to talk. Though Scaramouche seemed pretty off standish, you continued to make small talk anyway. That was one thing you didn't understand about him. One minute he's super friendly and sociable, then the next he seems distant and annoyed. It made you wonder what was really going on inside that mind of his.

"So what do you do for your job anyway?" You ask him, genuinely curious. He hasn't given you a straight answer. Maybe he worked for a secret organization set on anonymously fighting evil?? Maybe he really was just some random adventure that got commissions every once in a while?

Scaramouche reluctantly responded, "You could say I'm just like you. Taking orders from someone and getting paid to do it."

You raise an eyebrow, "You never really talk about your job in detail. Is it secret?" You became very interested, your eyes sparkling at the thought of some cool job. Metaphorically of course.

"Sort of, yeah," he finally started talking more, "My line of work.. doesn't have a very positive reputation."

Then you understood. Maybe he collected taxes? Or, it was something more tragic. Perhaps he was an assassin but he's too shamed to say so? The many ideas flowed through your brain until you finally snapped out of it.

You walked in front of him, causing him to stop in his tracks to look right at you, "It doesn't matter what kind of job you have. Even if it's seen as bad, what matters is if you're a good person." You smiled, "And I think you're a wonderful person."

Scaramouche was visibly taken aback. You don't know whether or not he was really touched or thoroughly creeped out, but either way, what you said was the truth. At least, that was your way of thinking.

He looked away, "Thanks.."

You smile at him as you turn back around and continue on the path.

《Scaramouche's POV》

After hearing the words that Y/N spoke, Scaramouche almost felt bad. He didn't know they would be this clueless. He had successfully tricked Y/N into thinking he was a good person. Quite frankly, he didn't care what anyone thought of him. Whether they respected him or they were utterly terrified, usually the latter, he didn't care whatsoever.

Yet for some reason, those words really stuck to him. He was never one to think of others. All he thought about was himself and how to work to be better than everyone else at everything. He didn't like taking orders, he didn't like people under his command doing whatever they pleased. He liked to control people. That's just who he was.

Listening to Y/N tell him he was a good person felt wrong. Suddenly the little white lie he was telling didn't seem so fun anymore. He thought if it like a game, an experiment. But now, he wasn't so sure why he was doing it.

Maybe he really was lonely..? Maybe he didn't want to admit that he was lonely.

His whole life, everyone was always afraid of him. He never had friends, a close family, the closest he had was his fellow harbingers, but even they disliked him.

For once in his life, maybe he just wanted to be normal. To see what life would've been like had he not joined the Fatui.

All this was going through his head as he walked behind Y/N.

Was Y/N meant to be the one who saved him? Or was all of it just the fever talking?

A/N
Aight well that got pretty deep-

Anyway, my favorite Scaramouche fanfic writer followed me back on Instagram so that pretty much made my day (๑>◡<๑)