Rooming With The Band - L.R.H

10• Anxiety

perfection ^^

this is short, sorry. i've been swamped with stress so i hope this is okay >_<

i don't know if i've made his anxiety seem "realistic" in this but i tried to voice my own feelings in here ? idk. enjoy

ah yes, talk fast quotes :')

"

I don't wanna think about a moment with you,
I'm kinda hoping for forever

"

"

I want your love in every flavour

"

Luke was upset. He shouldn't be. He had no right to be. He went to see Charlie and Calum, wanting to check on them both, only to see his best friend kissing the girl he liked. What's worse is that Calum knew that Luke liked Charlie.

Luke was hurt. His heart ached knowing that his friend made a move on the girl he was quite literally obsessed with, behind his back. It felt like some sort of betrayal. And what hurt Luke even more was his brain. Calum always got the girls, that's one thing Luke can't deny. Every girl Luke liked growing up, ended up liking Calum. It pained Luke. Calum was perfect in Luke's eyes. The boys called him "the chick magnet" because in reality, he was. Calum always got the girl. Whenever Calum liked a girl, he got her - most of the time not even wanting her.

Luke was mad. Calum had the audacity to kiss Charlie. It felt like the ultimate betrayal. He didn't want to look at Calum let alone live in the same house as him. It was safe to say there steam coming out of his ears. He couldn't control it. The pent up frustration made him infuriated. Luke was going to berate Calum. That's the least he deserves! How dare he just swoop in like that? Luke was so mad.

But most of all, Luke was insecure. The anxiety crawled on him, finding ways to get into his head. He tried to block out his thoughts but he couldn't do it. He held his hands over his ears and slumped against his bed, sitting on the floor. His body rocked back and forth as tears slipped from his eyes. Luke's anxiety got the best him. He always found himself having anxiety attacks that only Calum knew about. Not even Ash and Mikey knew and they've known the boy for most of their lives.

He racked his brain for any thoughts that would be better than this but the only thing that came to mind was her, and when he thought of her, he thought of him and he did not want to think of him. Luke silently sobbed into his knees. He shook violently and his face grimaced. His eyes burned from the tears.

Luke didn't always have his anxiety this bad. It started when he was around fifteen. That's when things were really bad. He was bullied in school, his parents were going through a divorce, his first girlfriend broke up with him and his older brothers had left for uni. He was on pills for a while to help calm the nerves but he always ended up with severe fatigue and headaches so he stopped. Looking back on it, Luke thought about how he'd much rather have a migraine than feel how he did in that moment.

Going against everything he was feeling, Luke felt at ease when he saw Charlie enter his room. She was feeling the complete opposite. As soon as she saw him, her heart dropped. He was a ball of mess on the floor, his hair in a state from pulling it, his face red and sore from his cries. Her heart broke.

She rushed over to him and instantly cradled him in her arms. She didn't speak, neither did he. There wasn't a need to. They both sat there, holding each other. He didn't want to be mad at her. He wasn't allowed to be. It wasn't her fault. It wasn't anybody's but his own. It was his fault for being, well, him. So when she finally asked what was wrong, he didn't say a thing. She didn't need that burden. His feelings didn't need to be put on her. However, she wanted the complete opposite. She wanted to know what he was feeling, of course she did. Her person was falling apart and she couldn't find the pieces to put him back together.

"Talk to me, Lu. Please," she practically pleaded. He shook his head at her. In all honesty, he didn't really know how to begin.

"Tell me what's wrong," she tried again. He took a deep breath.

"There's a girl," he started off and Charlie felt a pain in her chest. "I really like a girl and she likes someone else, that's all." She had to compose herself when he said that. She didn't know why but her chest felt heavy and her eyes threatened to spill tears.

"Clearly she's just some silly girl if she doesn't like you back, Luke. Any girl would be lucky to have you as a even a friend, let alone a boyfriend. I hope you know that I'm lucky. I'm so happy that I met you. You've changed my life for the better, Luke, and I appreciate you more than anything."

Luke dropped his head. If only she knew.

"She's not just some girl, Charlie. She's the most amazing person. She makes me feel on top of the world when I'm with her. I can't live with myself knowing that she doesn't like me back," his lip quivered as he said it. Saying it out loud made it feel realistic for him. He was basically in love with the girl in front of him and she didn't have a clue. Just as she slowly started falling for him, she had a hit to the heart and found out he likes some stupid girl. If only they would just be honest.

"You'll be okay, Lu, I promise."

He sighed for a moment and looked up at the brunette. When he saw the soft smile that rested upon her face, he felt safe. Almost as if he knew things were going to get better - an inkling that convinced him that everything was going to be okay. All that came from one small smile that left the girl he was head over heels for. He trusted everything on this one small non-verbal confirmation - everything was going to be okay.

So he wrapped his arms around her waist and basically pulled her on top of him. He hugged her until he fell asleep out of the pure exhaustion of crying. She hugged back until she fell asleep too.