The Butchers Love

Chapter 30

The next morning, I woke up to William walking up to the window, strange...

I let out a small giggle and got one of the pillows from our bed before standing and walking towards him. It obviously took him by surprise when I hit him on the back with It. He let out a shocked breath and turned to face me, a look of playfulness resided on his face "Good morning" I smiled and wrapped my arms around him.

He smiled and brought me into a kiss "My love, you're beautiful as usual this morning"

I brushed his hair over his shoulder and looked up into his eyes "And you look as handsome as ever"

William brushed his thumb over my lips before bringing me back into an embrace "I love you" he mumbled and squeezed me tightly for a moment "Now, you wanted to tell me something"

I took his hand and placed it on my stomach "I'm 9 days late Will" he tilted his head to the side before registering what I had just said.

"wait seriously?" he asked and ran his hands over my belly, William's smile soon grew on his face "You could be with child?"

"It's a possibility"

He stood up and pulled me into a kiss "That's wonderful!" William lifted me up into his arms and spun me around for a moment "I'm so proud of you!"

I wrapped my arms around his neck and leant my forehead against him "It's only a possibility, bear that in mind"

"I couldn't care less if its a possibility, my darling, we can keep trying" William mumbled and hitched me upwards slightly "We have forever"

"If I am indeed with child, I hope that it's a boy and that they will grow up to be just like you"

He looked to the side and leg out a small sigh "I hope that they aren't like me, that would mean that I would be a terrible father"

I tilted his chin up and shook my head "You will be an excellent father, perfect even" 

"But what happens if I turn out like him..." William put me back on my feet and focused his gaze on the floor "What happens if I'm destined to be like my father"

"You and I both know that in here" I pressed my hand to his chest looked into his eyes "that you are a better man than him"

He glanced at me before smiling "I will be the best possible father and husband I can, for you and our possible child" William wrapped his arms around me once again before resting his chin on my shoulder "I Love you"

"Would you still love me even if I wasn't with child?" I mumbled and he brought his head back up.

"Of course I would, I love you Mable"

I nodded slightly and looked up at him "I just know how much you want a child"

"having a child isn't as important as having you, you're the one that I can't sacrifice" he looked into my eyes and tilted his head to the side "I would choose you over anything, every day of the week"

"does this mean you'll spend time with me today?" I asked with hope embedded in my voice.

He took both of my hands and nodded "Today. tomorrow. if you're with child, the next nine months"

"I wouldn't let you give up your position in the army, you've worked so hard to get this far"

"I'd do anything to have my time with you, Ohio doesn-" he cut himself off and realised his mistake.

"Ohio?" I asked and he looked to the side "What about it?"

"Er..." William shook his head and wouldn't meet my gaze.

"You can tell me anything"

Tavington's POV
I couldn't tell her...
She'd kill me...

With the possibility of her being with child, I couldn't possibly break her heart now.

"You can tell me anything"

Her words were as sweet as honey and as innocent as the whitest lily. I couldn't meet her gaze, that is how much of a coward I am.

She took my hand and lead me towards our bed before sitting down and offering me her arms. I looked at her and she tipped her head in confusion "Will come on now, I know something is wrong, you've gone quiet" she let out a small laugh before smiling softly.

If I told her, would she understand the position I was in? Would she know why I agreed upon something like this.

On one shoulder I was being told:
Don't be stupid William tell your wife!

On the other I was being told:
She hasn't the right to know your business!

A small crack of anger ignited in the pit of my stomach "I do not need, or have any desire, to tell you of what Ohio has to do with anything" no! What was I saying?! Shut up you stupid man!

Mable seemed shocked at my words, her eyes widened and her lips parted slightly "Will, I wasn't suggesting-"

"Don't you dare say another word!" I snapped and cut her off "my duties have nothing to do with you!" Shut up you pathetic excuse of a man! Just tell her!

She looked down at her lap and then her shoulders raised and dipped slightly, followed by a faint sob. No, no, no...

My darling, I'm so sorry...

"I-"

"-Please go William..." she muttered and wrapped her arms around her knees.

"Mable-"

"-just get out!" she cried and looked up at me with teary eyes.

I gathered my clothes in a bundle and walked towards the door, storming out of it and then slamming it shut.

What hurt most was that a part of me wanted to hurt her...

Why...
I'm not him...
I cannot be him...
I WOULD NEVER BE MY FATHER!

But it was too late...

I slammed my fist into the wall and let out a laboured cry. Mable did nothing wrong. It was me.