The Butchers Love

Chapter 33

"Forgive me, please"

"Whatever for?" I asked and playfully straddled his waist.

"For any pain that I have caused you or your family, if I could turn back time I would've left you with your family"

"But then we wouldn't be where we are now, we wouldn't be married or have a little one on the way"

"Your family hates me"

"I'm an American, in love with a British Colonel, that's dangerous enough as it is"

"If anyone ever laid hands on you, I'd murder them" he got defensive rather quickly and shot his head up "If any man ever dared to touch you in the way I do, they will be hanged by dawn"

"Quite protective, I see"

"You're my wife"

"I was, the last time I checked" William fell backwards and looked up at me "Have you ever noticed the way Mrs Jones looks at you?"

"My focus is always on you, it's quite hard to distribute my attention"

"Watch at dinner, she'll be staring at you"

"hold on, isn't she married to General Jones, the one who sends me on patrol? I am truly a ladies man-"

"-before you say anything else, remember that your wife is currently sitting on your lap"

He smirked slightly before resting his hands behind his head "She is rather beautiful, but, the most gorgeous woman that walks this earth is currently on my lap. And to make things better, she's my wife" William gently grasped onto my hips and rolled us both over before taking my hands into his "but as you know, my love for you is undying. Sometimes I think about after this war, we'll live in Ohio, our children will grow up and inherit the land-"

"-Why Ohio? We have a plantation here"

"But I would have an entire country to myself, we'd be wealthy-"

"-I'd rather be like we are now"

He let out a small angered breath and got off the top of me, turning away from me before shaking his head "I'd be a landowner, we'd be happy"

"I'm happy how we are now, what happened to your trade idea?"

"That isn't going to give us a lot of income compared to owning a country"

"we don't need money, Will, we'll have each other and our children"

"I want to leave my children something when I die"

"You will"

"And what would that be?" he growled and snapped his gaze towards me.

"Can we not argue again" I sighed and brought my knees to my chest "Your mood changes with a snap of your fingers, One moment your begging me for my help and the other we're arguing like idiots!"

William looked at me with pleading eyes before looking down "Do you understand how much of a predicament I'm in?" then he scowled and focused on my eyes "I'm trying everything to stop myself from going insane!"

"William! I barely know anything about how you think! We're not able to even able to spend time together without arguing!" I snapped back and scowled once I met his gaze "I'm trying to help you!"

"I'm between two mindsets, whether I should break down and surrender or if I should keep fighting!"

"Then stop fighting, show me the man I married-"

"That man is dead! I'm not the same!" Abruptly, he stood up and walked over towards his desk "but could you love me as the man I am now?"

My answer would break him. The truth was I didn't love the man that he was acting like. I couldn't hurt him, because I love the man I married, deep down he was still there. He must be...

"Answer me!" He snarled causing me to shudder and look him in the eyes.

"Will, shut up!"

"I beg your pardon!" he stormed up to me, causing panic to shoot through my veins "Don't you dare disrespect me!"

"Will..." I whimpered and tried to avert my gaze.

"Look at me when I talk to you!"

"Please..."

"LOOK AT ME!" William shouted, causing a few tears to escape my eyes, he noticed of course and staggered backwards "Mable...I'm sorry...I-I-"

"-I don't love you...not when you're acting like this..." I looked over at the door and then gathered my clothes "you need to find yourself, The man I met and the man I know now are completely different from each other"

"Mable..."

"don't say my name, don't even think about it...or our child's"

William clenched his fist before slamming it into the bed post. His clear sobs broke me and his face was already wet with tears. But I couldn't love a man who wasn't happy with what he had. He couldn't be satisfied.

"I know the real man inside, be better than the one you have become" With those words, I slid my shoes on and walked towards the door "Goodbye Colonel" then I walked out of the room and walked down the hall.

Tavington's POV

"goodbye Colonel"

Those words hurt the most, I had ruined it. My new marriage, my only love, I had ruined everything. I love her so damn much, but I was my father's son, I had his blood. My blood...my child will have my blood...

I looked to the pillow that she laid her head, then the book I had gifted her. She was my life. With a broken sob, I walked towards my desk and started to write a letter.

My dearest Mable,

Nothing is the same without you by my side, your my confidence, my tether, my best friend and most importantly the one Iove the most in this life. Ohio isn't what I need, I need you. Our child is lucky to have you as a mother. you're the most kind and loving woman a man could ask for, even if I'm not the one receiving said love, make another man as happy as you've made me. I ask but one thing, if our child is a boy name him Edward William Tavington, hopefully he will be just like his mother. Please tell him about me, about how much I love him and that I'm never truly gone.

I wish you the best in life dearest, you've made me the happiest man on earth.

Forever yours,

William x

She deserves so much better than me. I shook my head and swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat before walking over towards my bedside table and deposited the letter there.

With a slight cough, I straightened my uniform and wiped my eyes. I didn't want Ohio. I wanted my wife and child. I walked out of my room and then into the Lord General's office. I bowed my head slightly before taking a few steps towards his desk "My Lord"

"What is it Tavington, haven't you a ghost to capture?"

"Indeed I have, but I no longer wish for Ohio"

"Are you mad? You could have an entire country to yourself"

"Indeed, but it is not worth my marriage, Mable is too important to me"

"That's your loss, Colonel" he looked up from his desk "anyway I'm sending you and your men to Blackstock by daybreak, the earlier we capture it, the better"

"Yes my lord"

"You're dismissed"

I bowed my head once again before turning on my heal and exiting the room. Now all I needed to do is fix my marriage.