Bloom

20: The Truth

They expect their memory to be wiped clean, in the same process as before they were captured and thrown into a dark dungeon. They want to forget. Forget all of the memories they made with Pepper. After all, they are an enemy to them, right? Yet no matter how much they try to convince themself, it only ends up as heartbreak. All of the moments with them, in the garden, when Pepper fixed their hair, healed them with various teas and medicine, redefined a new feeling that pains them to think of now. Despite it all, their heart is telling them they miss them. Tulip shakes their head, making the roped hair braid loosen up. They loosen it up more by digging their hands further in, scrubbing their scalp until all of the hair comes undone. They lower their hands in defeat. It's back to square one.

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A dream invades their sluggish mind as they make an attempt to sleep. After all, what else can they do? Reading the book reminds them of them. Hugging the blankets makes them think of them more. Their only way of escape is to enter another world in hopes the bliss will make them forget where they are. Maybe this time they can remember a dream.

They are floating on an ocean's surface. Their body remains dry, despite the water hugging them. They stare up at a beautiful blue sky. Puffy clouds move in the same flow as the waves. What is freedom? What truly is freedom? As they lift a hand up high in an attempt to catch a cloud, the sky suddenly changes to orange. That makes them go from laying flat to swimming in the water. Searching, looking around. The orange sky has made the water turn red. It's a daunting sight. The waves start to grow more violent. Crashing against them. It looks like blood. Every which way they look in search of an island, floating debris, something to cling onto as they struggle to swim. The water dampens their clothing, their skin, hair, everything, as it starts to move counter-clockwise. A gigantic whirlpool. Swirling round and round. It catches them and pulls them under.

"Tulip?"

They shoot up, gasping for air, then look around. There's no water in sight. They're back in the dungeon. It relieves them for a moment, until they recognize a voice calling them out.

"Tulip??"

Pepper. They seem to be behind the small door again, where a pink barrier still remains. They sound terrified, which makes them go from fear to annoyance.

"Go away," they say back.

"It's not your fault!"

They want to say 'go away' again, scream it at the top of their lungs to filter out the pain. But nothing escapes their mouth.

"It's not your fault, Tulip," Pepper says. It sounds like they're trying to hold back tears. "You're not in control of the flowers that grow from your back."

Tightly they clench their fist. What's holding them back from retort?

"Do you hear me? It's not your fault."

"How can I trust you?"

"I..." Pepper pauses. "I can't... tell you the reason entirely..."

That makes them want to grab the book. Grab it and throw it away. What more must you be hiding?

"But I can explain to you the reason behind violets."

They freeze.

"Violet was a flower given to my mother," Pepper says, "by her ex-lover, every year on their anniversary."

What was that? There's a sniffle sound coming from the other side of the door.

"I'm going to be in deep trouble for telling you all this, but I don't care. She can banish me from ever seeing you again, so as long as I can still tell you the truth right now."

It confuses them, these feelings, thoughts. Are they still annoyed?

"Mortelline..." they say, "my mother, her eyes used to be a pure red, her lover's eyes were a pure blue. Together they celebrated their anniversary in purple. Violets, lots of them. Until one day, when she was expecting her lover to return from a long absence... her doorstep turned up empty. When her lover disappeared, her search for love was taken with it."

Tulip absorbs the information. Unsure if this is all factual. But Pepper's desperation to reveal all of this still shakes them up.

"That's why she cannot stand the sight of purple flowers. Especially violets, because they remind her of a lost love. I tried to mend her wounds of a broken heart. I tried to tell her that love is there. Not just by a doorstep. Love is out there. But now she only sees it meeting the same fate as her duties. And you know, I would've probably believed her."

There is another long pause. Tulip gathers themself. They stand up, having heard enough, to wander further into the darkness and lay there. Until what Pepper says next makes them come to another halt.

"Seeing my mother when she was in love, reminded me of when I first saw you."

Their clenched posture slackens a bit. How Pepper worded that holds them down with curiosity. What do you mean?

"Tulip..." Pepper sniffles again. "The first time I ever saw you was out in a wheat field. Playing and smiling with other deities. You were too far to see me, nor did I have the courage to run up to you. You seemed... so happy. It was contagious, that feeling. To hear that you did something unspeakable, something that... was a catalyst for destruction... I refused to believe it.

"Mother told me, 'I saw them do it with my own eyes! I saw it! Their filthy, wretched fingers mingled with one of the most important cycles for life and death!' She was desperate to capture you, since you seemed to be the culprit. The... anomaly, right? Yet the way I saw you then, frolicking in a field, then soaring way up high in the clouds..."

A familiarity pierces their mind upon the last part. It hits them full force, those dreams, I remember them now. Were they actually dreams?

"... you're either the greatest fibber any deity has ever encountered, or perhaps my mother saw someone else do the things that could've disrupted time. That someone else could be responsible for taking away your memory, as well."

Everything they are hearing, they hate to admit but it's making sense. Even though they don't remember any of this, the fact that it was a part of their "dreams" is starting to convince them that Pepper did indeed witness them way before any of this.

"Tulip, you, made me realize from the moment I saw you," Pepper's tone of voice changes to something cheerful, "that life has its moments of happiness. Life has so much fear, that it becomes harder to see that happiness. I don't want it to disappear, just like how your happiness was taken away from you, along with my mother's."

Tulip touches their cheeks as they begin to turn pink. Over and over the words repeat, replacing what they once thought was hatred for Pepper. The question still remains, why? Why me of all "anomalies"? Of all deities that you could've seen sharing that same happiness, did you see something more in me?

"I'll stop bothering you," Pepper pulls them from their thoughts. "I'm deeply sorry, Tulip. Regardless of how you feel about me, I needed to tell you all of this."

Footsteps are heard, indicating that Pepper has left. It leaves Tulip flustered, conflicted, confused. All of the emotions swirl about in their mind.

Whether they want to believe what Pepper is saying or not, one thing's for certain.

They can still recall the feeling of being pulled underwater by a monstrous whirlpool.