voicemail | b.e

thirty three*

I'm drunk writing this lol....wish me luck and enjoy the double update this I short but uh enjoy it's one of my faves

DOUBLE UPDATE FOR MY FAV PEOPLE! 

(uh re read this the day after and I didn't think I'd go into so much detail but enjoy lol)

gabrielles pov

I wake up at some point in the night, needing the bathroom and the other side of the bed is empty. once I've finished in the bathroom I wander out to the front of the bus, not bothering with pants. 

"billie?" she lifts her head up and smiles at me, her knees tucked under her large shirt. "are you okay?" she asks sitting up when I sit beside her and I nod. "haven't you slept?"

she shakes her head and look away biting my lip "no I'm okay though, just thinking about stuff"

"look I'm sorry about last night know I was too much and shouldn't have-"

"angel stop. it's not that, I promise you. I want you to comfortable with me like that sober"

"it's hard" I admit. "I'm scared and I know it's probably all in my head but I'm scared you're gonna I don't know hate me? I'm not like other girls" billie goes to speak and I cut her off.

 "let me finish please. I hate myself, like so fucking much. I look in the mirror and I fucking hate what I see, I can't help but compare myself to other girls because it's what I've always done. when I try to find someone they want me to be some fucking little secret cause they're ashamed to admit they like a bigger girl. i'm scared to meet people because the first thing they notice is my weight, they don't give me a chance and I've dealt with rejection my whole life. boys at school used to ask me out as a joke, do you know how that made me feel?"

"I get sexually assaulted at clubs because men think I'm easy, they wanna fuck me but no-one ever wants to date me because i'm me. I know you're not like that, I know deep down you like me for me but I can't help but think one day you'll realise I'm not like the other girls"

"baby" billie grabs onto my hands and turns to face me "you're it. you're my person and I can fucking promise you that you could be stood in a room full of super models and you'll be the girl I go to, you wanna know why? cause you're golden. you're the sun, you shine brighter than any fucking star ive ever seen, you're such a beautiful person, love all your curves and rolls because that's what makes you, you and I love that. I've never met anyone like you and I'm never gonna meet anyone like you ever again because you're so special"

"billie" I whisper tears brimming in my eyes. 

"you said something right before you fell asleep last night" billie takes a deep breath.

 "and I've been thinking about it and I don't really think there wasn't a time where I wasn't thinking about you. I've never felt like this with anyone else man, it's like you make me feel like myself, I've never felt desired before and you look at me like I'm the only person in the world, you make me feel loved"

"that's because I do love you billie, I mean I've loved you for as long as I can remember but I am in love with you with everything I have in me" I admit.

"im in love with you, I fell in love with you the moment I looked into those beautiful brown eyes"

"kiss me, please" 

billie presses her lips with mine and I wrap my arms around her neck, pulling her into me.

I pull away to catch my breath and I open my eyes to look into hers.

i'm ready.

billie says nothing, standing up and holding her hand out for me to take it.